I had been sick for about a week. Didn't go to the doctor because of work constraints. I went to the emergency room, and they took me immediately to surgery. I didn't know I was in surgery, I had been sedated. I 'woke up' during surgery, and said to myself, 'Oh, I guess my heart was bad.' But, I wondered why the doctor was at the other end of my body, not near my heart. There were two nurses next to him, and there was someone standing just behind my left shoulder; he was looking at some sort of gauge, and was talking sternly to the doctor. The doctor and nurses had very strange expressions on their faces, like they could see that I woke.
Immediately, I was moving toward the ceiling in a horizontal position. I thought of Wendy from the Peter Pan movie. I saw a white pipe that I tried to grab onto twice, but my transparent hand went right through it. And the ceiling had become the sky. I looked down at the operating table, and saw me there, but I was having a great time, and said to myself that I wanted to continue to float in the air.
The next thing I remember, I was coming up an escalator in the clouds, gray, compressed clouds. (Note: I have had several dreams about visiting heaven and I always got there by coming up an escalator in fluffy white clouds.)
It was almost as if I had been shot out of the escalator because I remember coming out very fast and then stopping very gently.
There was an incredibly long line of people that were cheering and clapping for me. And it made me feel so good! The type of life I had, especially my childhood, was anything but happy. My sister and my grandmother where the first in line. They were also very happy and joyous - these are words I would not have used to describe them on earth. At some point, I learned that all the people who had greeted me were people who had been affected by me, both good and bad (bad by my definition). There was even a man who almost looked like a cave man with a hairy outfit on.
I was taken to see the Father. We had to go through a very narrow corridor with very high cement (?) walls on either side. I don't recall too much what happened when I went to see the Father.
About the only other thing I can remember is what I call the Apricot Choir. These were monumental angels who were singing and they were robed in the most gorgeous apricot color imaginable. The robes shimmered with different colors and with gold.
I had a couple other experiences that I haven't told to anyone, and would like to keep them private. They were extremely strange, and were perhaps a result of the anesthetic.
Date NDE Occurred: 'Aug 29, 1999'
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Surgery-related Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function or brain function) . Ruptured colon with peritonitis.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Wonderful
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? No I clearly left my body and existed outside it
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal Hard to say. I don't remember too much about what happened with the Father, but I think that was the highest level of consciousness.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? Hard to say. I don't remember too much about what happened with the Father, but I think that was the highest level of consciousness.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning No sense of time at all. No clear linear progression of events.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Did your vision differ in any way from normal? I was legally blind at the time, mostly correct with glasses, but I could sense and feel a realness. The choir singing was incredible sounds, and the angels' robes glowed with magnificent color. A dark blue color is associated with the Father, and that color was alive and vivid and living.
Did your hearing differ in any way from normal? I come from an extremely musically gifted family; however, I know nothing about music, partially deaf in one ear and couldn't sing in tune for anything. But the angel music, it was perfect. Millions of sounds interweaving and slowing in color.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Uncertain All I can remember is the top of the escalator in the clouds. I know it came up from somewhere, but not aware of the trip.
The experience included: Presence of deceased persons
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes There was someone guiding me, at one point there were two someone's guiding me, but I don't remember much. They communicated with me, I think telepathically.
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? No
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm Yes, I think another planet--no other information on this.
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Love and joy and happiness and peace. And a feeling of being part of everyone and everything.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
The experience included: Special Knowledge
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control The only thing I remember were all the people that I saw when I first got there had been affected by me. I learned that my difficult life was for a reason, and I should not have any guilt about it - I did my best.
I learned that some strange and highly unusual events in life would need to be researched when I got back to earth. Those events happened for a reason and that I would need those experiences for the future.
I learned to LOVE. I learned that events occurring on earth have a purpose, but not an obvious one, and we all need to seek out the purpose in life. Each person extends beyond their own body. Most of all, never act out of anger or revenge, but to love everyone, it is our main duty on earth.
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future I don't know how I became or become aware of future events - they just start out as a subtle feeling about something, and the more I think about it the more things seem to happen or to come into existence.
The experience included: Boundary
Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes There were no physical boundaries. I was in a place, being led by someone else who had a plan or purpose, and we just followed that. I do know that the Father resided in a special place, and if I wasn't meant to go there, I just would not be aware of that place. I didn't ask if I could go anywhere else, everything was out of my experience.
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What was your religion prior to your experience? Moderate Catholic (lapsed)
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes Being raised in a very strict Catholic environment, I thought the church had the first and last word on everything religious. I had been a lapsed Catholic and returned to the church after my experience. I went to daily mass for almost six years, and one day it all fell apart. For me, organized religion is not the way to fulfilling God's plan.
What is your religion now? Liberal 'Still believe Catholic dogma, but many questions about organized religion'
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes Being raised in a very strict Catholic environment, I thought the church had the first and last word on everything religious. I had been a lapsed Catholic and returned to the church after my experience. I went to daily mass for almost six years, and one day it all fell apart. For me, organized religion is not the way to fulfilling God's plan.
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes I don't know how to describe it. I get extremely frustrated when I try to tell others about life, but I can't really describe it. My words are clichΘs.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I don't feel as if I belong here. I can't relate to people the same way. I recently had a consulting contract terminated because I couldn't keep quiet about some injustices going on. I had to report it. Even though I spoke the truth, I was made out to be the bad guy. I don't fit in.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes I did not experience time as I know it on earth. I can report events that happened during NDE, but don't always make sense to me.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I could plainly hear what people were thinking. Initially, it scared the heck out of me. I've learned to control it most of the time.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? LOVE. If everyone could truly embrace that. We are not alone or lonely individuals, we are part of a tremendous experience.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I didn't initiate it. People started asking me when I told them I had been clinically dead during surgery (the second event my doctor was about to pronounce me dead) if I had experienced anything. At first I said 'no' because the events just seemed like part of my life. The people who have asked were just interested in knowing I guess because of the novelty, they didn't know that there was so much more to it that it was life-changing for me.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes In college, one of my majors was Psychology, and from that standpoint I was interested how people dealt with it. In my own mind prior to my own experience, I thought it was a religious experience. I don't think prior knowledge affected my experience because mine seemed so completely out of sync with what I had read about NDE's.
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real. My awareness of my experience was of visiting the Father. I kept telling the medical staff in the hospital, that I talked to my Father. I think they just thought that I had too much anesthetic. I was a different person. A tremendous sense of peace just emanated from me. A sense of gentleness and love overwhelmed me.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real. It was more real than life as I know it. I find it incredibly easy to forgive people who have injured me currently, or in the past. I try not to judge anyone. There is so much going on that we don't know about. We need to accept everyone and love them.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Uncertain My entire life has been filled with unusual events, including the NDE. Are they related? I don't know. But I seem to have found a way of coping with them and living my life.
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? Life is hard. No one should be afraid to leave it. But live your life the best you can, not with you at the center of the universe, but as a most necessary and integral part of it. You are very unique and most important.
Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? Considering the scope, I think this is very good.