I remember waking up in the recovery room with 2 nurses hovering around me, talking to me, trying to get me to wake up. As I opened my eyes, I could see them looking at me and one of the nurses gently nudging me on the shoulder. She then looked at my throat bandage and said to the other nurse: "Get the doctor, she's bleeding."
At this point, I felt very disconnected from my body and could hear a loud rushing sound filling my head. I turned my head to the left, toward the doorway of the room and saw a very bright light growing in the entrance of the door. It was brighter than the sun and continued to grow in intensity. Then I heard someone yell: "She's crashing!", and I was aware of at least 4 nurses and doctors surrounding me. I turned my head again to the left and now the light totally engulfed the doorway of the room.
I saw a figure standing in the light, a being tall and serene, Christ-like in stature and form, and a profound feeling of peace and joy filled me. With that I felt myself lifting from my physical body and started to move toward the Light and Light Being waiting for me. However, I could only get about 2 to 3 feet from my body and felt like someone was holding me by my left arm. I turned and looked down and I could see the doctors working on me, pushing down on my chest, and my Mom sitting beside me holding onto my left arm with both hands, pleading with me not to go. I was torn whether to continue into the light or return to my body.
The next thing I knew, I woke up in my hospital room, with my parents sitting beside me. I felt like something significant had happened and was surprised to find myself still in my physical body. I had difficulty talking to them about it since I was in and out of consciousness due to pain medication.
Two days later, when the effects of the anesthetic had worn off, I had memory flashbacks of the event in the recovery room and felt confused and saddened that I had not been able to go into the light. My Mom told me afterwards that she had not been in the recovery room with me; she had been sitting out in the hallway by the recovery room. When she saw my surgeon and doctor rush past her into the recovery room, she sensed I was in trouble and "projected" herself to my side to assist me. She denied the fact that I had died, but said I was very sick and they almost lost me.
The day after surgery, while in my room, the woman next to me went into cardiac arrest and died. It was the first time in my life I had ever been present when someone died, and I "saw" the woman's spirit form leave her body. This disturbed me greatly since I realized I had also been in that form and not been able to go "home".
My doctor came to speak to me since I had shared with my nurse the disturbing memory flashbacks I was experiencing and having trouble sleeping after witnessing my hospital roommate die. He told me it wasn't unusual for people in the state I was in to have such experiences and yes, my heart had stopped for a few minutes, and that they were very lucky to have "saved" me. As far as what I saw in the room when the woman next to me died, he told me they should have moved me out of the room and apologized for subjecting me to this. However, I explained to him that it was ok, and I knew the woman had gone on and was "home". He just smiled, patted the top of my head and said it was probably just my "imagination" and ordered the nurse to give me something to help me sleep.
I decided at that point to not share my experience with anyone, since no one seemed to believe me, but I know that what I saw, felt and experienced was the "truth". What we experience as physical reality is a vastly small portion of who and what we truly are and that there is life after death.
Date NDE Occurred: September 6, 1974
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Surgery-related Clinical death While in recovery room post-op, I went into "thyroid storm" and throat incision opened and hemorrhaging occurred. Blood loss and symptoms of massive influx of thyroxin in system caused my heart to stop requiring resuscitation. I was told post event that they "almost lost me" and that my heart had stopped for a few minutes. Due to my age and physical condition, I responded to resuscitation quickly.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Mixed
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes When I was above my body looking down, I could see my spirit arm legs and torso as being filled with light and transparent.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? Despite the grogginess caused by the anesthetics and other medications they were giving me at the time of the event, I felt my sense of smell, taste and hearing were hyper acute. However, I felt very disconnected from my physical body, like I didn't belong in it anymore.
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? No
Did your hearing differ in any way from normal? Did you hear any unusual sounds or noises? The noise I heard was a loud rushing sound, like standing right next to a waterfall. I could also hear other voices, singing a song I couldn't even begin to describe it was so beautiful.
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes There was a Christ-like figure standing in the doorway, with the light surrounding him/her. I did not receive any direct communication, just a deep feeling of love and peace and welcoming. More than anything I wanted to join this being in the light, but was held back by my Mom from completing the journey "into the Light".
The experience included: Light
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes It was the brightest light imaginable. White, gold, silver and all the colors of the rainbow mixed together.
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm Since I never was able to fully enter into the light, I do not recall any other dimensions or locations. Once I saw my Mom and my etheric body above my physical form, it felt like a trap door slammed shut and there was nothingness. The next memory was waking up in my hospital room. I have no recollection of events between my Mom holding my etheric arm and waking up in my hospital room.
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Mixed. At one point when I felt myself moving toward the light and the Light Being or Christ figure standing in the doorway waiting for me, I was filled with extreme joy, love and peace. When I realized I couldn't progress forward because my Mom was holding my arm, I felt very torn...not wanting to leave her and my family but desperately wanting to join the figure waiting for me in the light.
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control Even though I had experienced many "psychic" type events since a small child, this event proved to me beyond all doubt, that our physical reality is such a small part of who and what we are. That what we construe as reality is a mere shadow of dimensions that we are constantly interacting with. That there is a continuation of our consciousness beyond death of the physical form.
Did scenes from the future come to you? No Not at the time. Since a child, I have had prophetic dreams and visions and these increased in intensity after the NDE.
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will I am unsure if I consciously decided to return to my body or if it was a joint decision between myself, the Light Being and my Mom.
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What was your religion prior to your experience? Liberal
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I felt more connected to God/Creator. Became aware that life is a precious gift and not to be taken for granted. That we as humans still have a lot to learn about life and death.
The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes Found it difficult to articulate the experience to my parents and healthcare providers since they did not seem to accept or understand the experience.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The best part of the experience was gaining the knowledge that we are spiritual beings having a human experience. The worst part, was not having the encouragement and support to share the experience with my family and healthcare providers; the feeling that they did not believe my experience. Also, the sense of disconnectedness from a part of myself and overwhelming "homesickness" that sometimes overcomes me to the point where I have at times contemplated taking my own life to return to spirit.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes I often have OBEs during the dream state and have been able to reproduce the OBE experience during meditation. I meditate on a regular basis and have practiced various forms of laying on of hands healing techniques, such as Reiki. Most days, I have a heightened sense of awareness and can "tune" into the higher spiritual dimensions. Depending on my emotional state, I often experience the presence of guides and Ascended Masters in my life.
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? In March 2001, my Mom died after a lengthy illness. She had just turned 68 years old. We had many times to discuss our views of life and death prior to her departure and finally came to a place of peace with each other regarding my NDE. I was with her when she died, and she communicated with me that she understood why I have felt so tortured during periods of my life. She felt bad that she had influenced my decision to stay when I was 15, but it was my part to play in this earth walk together. Part of my soul agreement was to share my gifts with others and, when the time came, assist her to cross over into spirit. Prior to her death, I was very torn and felt I needed to be on the "other side" to assist her across. Now, I realize that that wasn't necessary, that I can experience both the spiritual dimensions and physical reality at the same time and be a conduit for the love and light of spirit, made manifest in the physical realm.