In 1983 I was pregnant I was due in Aug. 1983 beginning in January an angel came every night around 0300am to tell me "she is not your baby to keep." I told the doctor about my visions.
Everything seemed normal to the doctors. In June 1983, an ultrasound revealed fluid around one of the baby's lungs. It also revealed she was a girl. I had already named her. I accepted she was mine to enjoy.
During the pregnancy, the pediatrician asked me to ask the angel, “What would happen?” I was not comfortable, but did as he asked. The angel said, “as long as she is dependent on you, she will be fine. When she is born, within 20 minutes things will go wrong. Nothing that is done will help. She will die and come back to be with god. We want you to know, so you are ready.”
I sang to her and reassured her she was loved and wanted I reassured her that although she was not going to be with me she would be cared for and safe. She was born at 2103. Her APGAR score was 8-9. They placed her on me to cut the cord. I immediately knew she had a collapsed lung. I told the pediatrician. This was confirmed by a chest x-ray in the nursery.
As they started to take her from the delivery room, I asked them to let me see her. She grasped my finger; I gave her permission to go when she was ready. I sent my husband down with her so she had someone who loved her close by. Within 20 minutes, she suffered her first cardiac arrest she was resuscitated for 2 hours she died at 2303. She had a hypoplastic left heart, which despite being sent to a neonatologist. In my 8th month remained unrevealed during the pregnancy.
When I had raised the possibility of a heart problem with him, he patiently showed me all four chambers of her heart... in fact, there was only a tiny miniscule l ventricle. He was shocked when he read the autopsy report. He was condescending and egotistical during my visit. He glibly said everything was fine, I think for him the lesson was humility... I learned another way to understand what my patients were going through - and to accept what I am asked to.
I designed her marker
"To god with love"
I did not die...
But Megan did...
ADDITIONAL COMMENTS IN NEXT E-MAIL IN RESPONSE TO NDERF QUESTIONS:
The angel (which by the way seemed asexual) had long honey-colored hair. The angel was sitting with its face and body turned to the left; with just the right cheekbone and the orbital indentation and chin visible. I saw no wings. The long robe was white. The angel seemed to be seated on a rock. I would be awakened at 0300 from sleep. It always appeared in my bedroom. I would get up and sit in a chair that I had put by my bed for this purpose. After the 3rd night (always at 0300) I jokingly have referred to the inconsiderate hour as “angel standard time”...
HOW MANY TIMES AND UNDER WHAT CIRCUMSTANCES? Every night from January - August 1983
HAVE YOU HAD ANY OTHER ANGELIC VISITS? I have a "voice" maybe it is god maybe it is a guardian angel it warns me many times...from the simplistic "pick up those keys now or you will forget them " AND if I do not pick them up immediately I will always forget them!!! !!! Too humorous. "SLOWDOWN THERE IS A TROOPER AHEAD" I warned my friend who was driving. He said, “The fuzz buster does not agree.” I replied, “Ok, let the fuzzbuster help you with the ticket.” He slowed to the speed limit and was gunned as he crested the hill. He is a believer...we are now married.
It is bossy and does not as if it if I disregard requests it gets really insistent it is more telepathic sometimes thoughts sometimes actions. If I am inattentive, I will suddenly realize the car is slowing down I will find the cruise off and my foot off the gas... 99.9% of the time there is an officer with radar The rest it is my exit or someone does something stupid and I have to swerve to miss them.
The first time I can recall this voice was at age 3 we were at my maternal grandmother’s house. She seemed fine. She picked me up in her arms when we got there. I remember her face was flushed... later as she was picking up a chair to take to the table, she staggered. I was 3...yet, I instantly knew there was a problem I yelled "help grandma, daddy!" he caught her as she was falling. An ambulance was called. When they arrived, my father took me out into the yard to give the EMTs room. I remember standing out in the cool evening air tears running down my cheeks because the voice said, "say good-bye to her you will not see her here again." as she was brought out, she waved and I was allowed to kiss her. Although she was not critical then she died 10 days later. I never saw her again. The night she died the phone rang, I knew she had died I began to cry before it was answered. This is my earliest voice memory. I already knew the voice when it spoke to me. I must have encountered it previously. At age 3 there was no room in my mind for doubt.
The week after my baby died a voice I was certain was god spoke to me, "one of your parents will die soon" I trembled... I felt the weight of impending doom upon my spirit. I said "no." it was repeated. I ordered the voice to come with me... I stomped to the master bedroom. I entered and slammed and locked the door behind me. It still brings a smile when I realize I was locking god in the room so he had to listen to me!!! I said, "You have told us you will never give us more to bear than we can handle. How can you come here a week after my baby has died and think I can handle another loss?” I was hysterically sobbing. “Look into my heart right now and tell me I can handle this. I need both my parents! You cannot even consider this unless you want me to be a raving maniac. If you think I can handle this, you just are not paying attention. if you do this then your promises are worthless.” At some point during my tirade, I heard the voice quietly saying, “ok. ok, ok.” and finally emphatically repeating, “ok! ok! ok!” it was gone ( I can feel when it goes) the weight lifted I knew the threat was no longer imminent. I knew it was postponed, though not repealed.
I planned a family vacation that my parents had put off. My mother was resisting flying. She really hated the idea when she was unsure whether she was going to go... I prayed for a way to make her more comfortable. This was the answer I was given to relieve her
I asked, “Mom do you believe in god?
Mom answered, “Well of course.”
I then asked, “Do you believe that god is all powerful and in charge of our lives?”
Mom answered, “Yes.”
I told her, “then surely you understand if he wants to kill you with an airplane and you refuse to get on one, he will just land one on you?”
She smiled and said, “Buy the tickets.”
My husband and my parents and I went on vacation for 2 weeks in 1984. In September, exactly one year after that conversation took place; my mother was diagnosed with leukemia. WBCS 120,000 ...she died in 1984.