I had a hundred percent blocked artery (STEMI) heart attack at my desk. The pain was indescribable from the moment it started and with every beat of the heart got worse. I was extremely fortunate that there is a major cardiac hospital within four miles of my place of work. The ambulance crew arrived quickly and immediately started working on me. In the ambulance, I could feel myself dying. My body started to fade.
After that, I started to feel increasingly detached from the situation. It felt like everything was starting to slow down - like I was driving on the motorway and had drifted into a sand-filled safety lane. I felt that the slowing down was not something I had a choice or control over, there was a tangible 'stop' point some minutes ahead and it was not avoidable - the rest of the world continued past me but I was stopping. When we got to the resuscitation room in the hospital, I felt very close to being entirely detached and was not frightened anymore. In fact, there was a great sense of calmness. I knew with great certainty that there was nothing I could do about it. The situation was entirely out of my control and therefore I could relax and just observe very closely.
My point of vision was above and slightly to the rear of my head. I noticed (I use the word 'notice' advisedly as I don't feel I 'saw' it) a loose circle of what I can only describe as 'stillness' or 'clearness' that was a mild distortion of the air, fabric of vision, in front of me. There was also a strong and overwhelming sense that beyond that was a very bright environment but I neither saw it nor experienced it.
At that point, I believe that the drugs they had given me had opened the artery sufficiently to allow 1-5% of the blood through and this allowed me to stabilize and not continue to accelerate away. A few minutes later and the surgeon had cleared the blockage through my femoral artery and I was alive again.
Date NDE Occurred: 9th Feb 2010
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Heart attack I had a 100% blocked STEMI heart attach artery at my desk at work. I was dying in the ambulance. 'Life threatening event, but not clinical death'
I was dying of a hundred percent blocked artery heart attack.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Mixed
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes
I lost awareness of my body
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal At the end.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? At the end.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Faster than usual
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
I was out of the usual time zone - i.e. I was in an independent time zone.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. See main description.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I felt like I was in an auditory bubble.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Uncertain As described above that appeared to be the next stage that I did not (thankfully) reach - but I was left in n doubt that that WAS the next stage.
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? Uncertain As described above I felt strongly that there was very, very bright white light beyond that but did not actually see it.
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Clearness, calmness, clarity.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Relief or calmness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future
The experience included: Boundary
Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes The 'exit' stillness that I saw was definitely where I was going next - my body would have carried on further into the hospital but that's where I would have 'left'.
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What was your religion prior to your experience? Liberal I had no faith or conviction of any kind.
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Uncertain Looking into it as I feel I would like to understand more - but I am not expecting to find anything - just a better understanding of how others find God etc.
What is your religion now? Liberal None
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Uncertain Looking into it as I feel I would like to understand more - but I am not expecting to find anything - just a better understanding of how others find God etc.
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes I know now that life is incredibly fragile and hangs by the thinnest of threads. I know now - with incredible certainty - that there is 'something' going on post mortality and whatever it is I don't believe it's anything we have even guessed at yet.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I am much, much closer to my family.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes Not sure people would believe me!
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? It has changed my life for the better. I know now that love is really the only thing.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Uncertain I have not told anyone at all about the 'exit stillness' - it did not seem appropriate or right somehow.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Uncertain I was aware of the 'bright white light' scenario but had not and have not read any material specific to the subject before writing this experience down here.
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real It's as real to me as this website.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real The memory is fading already but I am trying hard to hang onto it as I found it so very powerful. I can't explain the 'reality' of it any more than I can explain the reality of, say, toast - it is what it is.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? Nope. Just very powerful.
Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? Pretty good - keep up the good work.