Tamara J NDE

Experience Description

I was in incredible pain during delivery and things were not progressing well so at around 17 hours of labor I asked for an epidural. As they were looking for the injection site, I began to feel strange as if my nerves were all lighting up and then I started seizing. Very quickly, I started losing touch with this world. I knew without a doubt that I was in the process of dying. I was examining the feeling in a non-emotional, interested way. I was surprised to find that the closer I got to death the less I hurt and found that death was a relief and not the painful experience I always thought it would be.

I then felt that I left this world and my body and was in the presence of God/ Jesus. It was like every cell of my being was at peace and I had the joy of loving myself and being loved the way I always wanted to be. Here my memories become jumbled like they were all piled on top of each other in a split second or an eternity. Time didn't exist. One of my first revelations was that I was still 'ME'. The importance of this is difficult to explain but it was a surprise to me and a deep joy. I was not a mistake and I was who I was always meant to be.

I vaguely remember moving to places and the realization that although I was still me, I now moved through barriers without restriction but I don't remember what those barriers were. I believe I saw and heard things that I couldn't remember afterwards.

What I do recall are a few messages. The message that there is no condemnation, that God loves us and we are all loved, and the message that I worry for no reason because God is always taking care of me. The space between heaven and earth is only in our minds. We are able to join God and His life here on earth; we are one.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: 05/09/1978

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Childbirth. Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function or brain function) I was in labor being prepped for an epidural when I had a grand mal seizure. I stopped breathing and a code was called. I had a total of five seizures, developed renal failure, retinopathy, and brain damage. I was given medications and continued to delivery in a coma. I have one memory after delivery of asking for my baby, and then four days of no memory although I was responsive according to staff. I had 8 days of very minimal memory and continued retinopathy and memory loss for 2-3 weeks.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant

The experience included: Out of body experience

Did you feel separated from your body? Uncertain At times I've felt like I looked back at the people working on me but I wasn't interested in them. I was focused on where I was going and then when I was with God I didn't want to leave. I lost awareness of my body

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal I was free of the fears, ideas and limitations of this earth. I had total peace and could give all my attention to what was happening.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? In the early parts of the experience as I was dying and first in God's presence. Then things went very fast and I feel like I returned before I wanted to.

Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning It seemed like it was all instantaneous. I had no limits of body or mind. I was in perfect unity with all that was around me and I was with and part of God.

Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. My visual side of the experience was what I remember the least.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. My hearing was more like I was joined with God's mind and I was part of God. I immediately knew things and He wanted to share things I needed to help me live and to help others.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Uncertain I passed through things that I was surprised I went through feeling like 'Wow this is cool I can go anywhere.' Time and space didn't hold me.

Did you see any beings in your experience? I sensed their presence

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Uncertain I believe I was with Jesus. However, that's because I experienced God and Jesus as one.

The experience included: Unearthly light

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Uncertain I felt light. I was in the presence of light. God.

The experience included: A landscape or city

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm I left this life and its limits quickly and was in another place but more than a place I was in a presence.

The experience included: Strong emotional tone

What emotions did you feel during the experience? I felt amazement, surprise, total peace, incredible love, and joy beyond all measure. I felt also like a student and wanted to understand all the mysteries of life, very alive and excited to learn. No mixed feeling, No doubts none of the feelings that interfere with life on earth.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

The experience included: Special knowledge or purpose

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe I have vague memories of revelations of time and space but most of what I remember is being with God and being okay and more than okay it was better than anything I could ever imagine. The other things I understood was not what I was asking but what I was being shown about my life and misconceptions.

The experience included: Life review

Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control

The experience included: Awareness of the future

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will I didn't want to leave this peace and joy but I was giving birth and feel I returned for my child. Although I have no clear memory of this decision I do recall being shown events in my past and how God was always caring for me and being told life was better than I thought it was and I didn't need to worry about anything. God would take care of me.

God, Spiritual and Religion:


What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Greatly important to me

What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Other Christian I was raised Catholic however at the age of 14 while attending a Young Life camp I came to believe in salvation through Christ without works. I always had an unusual sense of God from my earliest memories. Iat the age of 8 or 9 a friend and I were talking about the devil after leaving catechism and flame came out of the grass along the edge of a side walk and went away after only a few seconds. Later when I was 15 or 16 I had a vision of walking out of the ocean with many other people to the shore of an island and on that island stood the most brilliantly lit being. I knew it to be Christ and He was calling us to Him. I was overpowered by a feeling of love and acceptance. I continued to pray and connect with God throughout my life to the time of my NDE.

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I quit thinking of hell the way I used to and no longer condemn anyone.

What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Greatly important to me

What is your religion now? Christian- Other Christian I attend a non- denominational Christian church. However I can no longer believe that non-Christians are not accepted in heaven since I was told there was no condemnation and no judgement during my NDE.

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience At the time I believed that people who didn't believe in Christ were condemned to hell. Since my NDE I believe there is no condemnation. We may choose to turn from God but God does not turn from us. I believed that my life depended on me doing the right thing and trying to be a different person. I now believe life is about loving and sharing my God given gifts with myself and others.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes At the time I believed that people who didn't believe in Christ were condemned to hell. Since my NDE, I believe there is no condemnation. We may choose to turn from God but God does not turn from us. I believed that my life depended on me doing the right thing and trying to be a different person. I now believe life is about loving and sharing my God given gifts with myself and others.

The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin I was joined with God and His voice was a part of me. I feel I was told many things however only remember a few that were important to my future or the future of others.

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I sensed their presence

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? Uncertain I believe I was with Jesus however that's because I experienced God and Jesus as one.

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes I was one with God and everyone.

Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? God definitely exists

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes I was with God and God was everything and I could see what He saw and understand what He wanted me to understand. I was shown parts of my past and how God intervened and cared for me. I was told and shown that He is always caring for me. That worry is a waste of time. That there is no condemnation. That I am going to return someday and enjoy the utter joy and peace of heaven forever.

Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God definitely exists

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:


During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes Oneness with God and others is my purpose. To heal others and to share God's love is my purpose. To share what I learned that we do continue to live after death on earth. That God is caring for us and the more we realize and trust Him for this, the greater our lives will be. That my worry is a waste of precious time and cuts my life down. Trust, love and be at peace with everyone. Don't try to be someone else. We are exactly who we are supposed to be.

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are meaningful and significant

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes Oneness with God and others is my purpose. To heal others and to share God's love is my purpose. To share what I learned that we do continue to live after death on earth. That God is caring for us and the more we realize and trust Him for this the greater

Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? An afterlife probably exists

Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists Yes I clearly knew I was dying and I was aware of all that was happening. I was passing on to another place. Life continued for me, there was no end just a change. I was still "me" although I didn't feel encumbered by a body. I could move through barriers. I

Did you fear death prior to your experience? I greatly feared death

Do you fear death after your experience? I do not fear death

Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Greatly fearful in living my earthly life

Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Moderately fearful in living my earthly life

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are meaningful and significant

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are meaningful and significant

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Yes The difficulties are difficult because I'm not trusting God. I'm thinking I'm running my own life. It's easier than I'm making it. I can love and live freely if I can remember this.

Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes Love is perfect, it is all encompassing, it is everything we have ever wanted and it is without judgement. It is what we can share here on earth when we are connected with God and through Him with others.

Were you compassionate after your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life I no longer fear death. I wish I could say I live without worry but even though I know it's unnecessary I still have it. I have a connection with God and others that is very personal and is forever. It's not limited to this earth. I don't see life or death the same. I miss people who die but I am thrilled that they are at peace and no longer suffering the limits of this life.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Uncertain Uncertain I was young and it's difficult for me to know what my relationships would be without it.

After the NDE:


Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes I have always felt disappointed in having messages or revelations but not remembering how I received them. The memories were more sensations than pictures, although I have vague memories of picture and events.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience It's been many years and the memory stay the same. It's burned into me like fire although there are things I think I forgot about the experience, I forgot these things immediately. After the event I lost 8 days in a semi coma and it took a few weeks for my basic functions of sight, brain function and strength to return. I felt more alive in my NDE than I did for a couple of weeks following it.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Uncertain I had a connection with God before my experience and I was in a healing profession but the connection is greater now and I feel God's healing power through me and this grows as I age and grow spiritually.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Death is relief of pain and suffering. God is everything wonderful and marvelous. He takes care of us always but we only experience this if we believe it and trust Him. We grow by joining in God's love and sharing His love and gifts. There is only a thin curtain between this life and the next. He has all the answers. There is no condemnation.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I think it was several years later but I don't remember.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes I had heard of NDE's but had not read on it. I think I thought I was supposed to look down on myself out of my body and that I was to go through a tunnel. These things didn't happen, as far as I can remember.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real It's always been as real as this life and in some ways more real.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real I haven't changed how I view it. In the last few years I wanted to share it in ways I didn't want to before.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? No