I hope this makes sense. It was about eight or so. I was going to take a shower and make some coffee. I decided to call my friend Jessica because she was supposed to stop by, and I was going to make enough for her too. I remember taking off my shirt, and dialing her name. I guess my seizure started then in my hallway outside of my bathroom. I didn't have any warning, no aura. I always have an aura before a seizure. Jessica said I didn't say anything on the phone so she got worried and came over. I was still seizing when she got there. She said I was sweating profusely and it was very violent. She called my fiancé Brandon, and my neighbor Dave to come help because she wasn't sure what to do. I was going in and out of consciousness having seizures minutes apart with postictal activity. My seizures were continuous so I was taken to the hospital to be treated. That is a combination of what I was told and what I could piece together.
During that mess, I remember looking up and seeing my fiancé staring at me holding my head. I couldn't understand what he was saying, but he was crying. I could feel what he was saying. I remember feeling what Jessica and Dave too. They weren't close to me. Dave was repulsed. I remember him feeling weak he denies this by the way. Jessica was cold and scared maybe. She denies that too. The emotion was so dark and so moving that it was beautiful in its own still way. I was feeling an enormous amount of pressure and sharp pain, and something happened the stillness went away. I was hurting like I could feel what was going on. I never remember my seizures, so I let go, I just let go. The stillness came back. I got up to comfort Brandon, my fiance. I wanted to tell him that I was fine. When I did, I saw myself choking. I wasn't choking myself like my nightmares. I was just choking I couldn't breathe. I was on top of myself watching myself and all these shapes were moving like people or animals around me. I wanted to go back inside, because I was worried about Brandon. He was so sad. I could feel his worry and sadness, but I couldn't feel my own. There was this plasma thing between me and me. I guess I fell through it I don't know. Then I went back to feeling everything in my body. All the pressure, tension, and pain. I guess I passed out again. The next thing I remember is waking up in the hospital.
Date NDE Occurred: 'Monday 26, 2007'
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes 'I have epilepsy, but I normally don't have seizures. In fact, with medication I thought it was impossible to have such a violent attack.' Life threatening event, but not clinical death
I guess so. If my seizures don't stop I can enter status epileptics which is the constant state of a seizure or a seizure induced coma. I know people die from the damage of seizures, but since medicated I haven't had one as bad as the one I had on Monday. In addition, even when I had them years ago before my diagnosis I never experienced the afterlife thing.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Mixed
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes
I clearly left my body and existed outside it
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal When I was staring at myself on top of myself, but able to feel Brandon too.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? When I was staring at myself on top of myself, but able to feel Brandon too.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Faster than usual
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
That might be the nature of the seizures though.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. guess so. The way I remember things in proportion is impossible for it to have actually happened. Colors were brighter. The lines fuzzy. The feeling was so overwhelming, I could've had my eyes shut and see the same things.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I don't remember hearing anything. II could just feel it.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes Well these shapes were running all over the plane. They were light and dark, I guess. I wasn't afraid of them. It was like leaves in a windstorm, but bigger and shaped like people/animals.
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? No
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? I felt everything from other people, but I felt overwhelmingly balanced I guess. I felt good and bad. I felt like I was a part of everything. That's dumb I know. I just can't describe it any other way.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
The experience included: Special Knowledge
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control Kind of. I guess. When I was watching Brandon cry I saw my parents cry, my dad especially. I saw a lot of sadness and joy, but not mine. Theirs.
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What was your religion prior to your experience? Liberal Whatever exists is much greater than me.
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No
What is your religion now? Moderate Same as above. I'm just very unnerved.
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No
The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes I guess I felt a part of everything.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes stopped talking to a lot of people close to me.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes I don't really know. It's almost like I don't have the words to describe or anything to compare the sensation to. It also makes me uncomfortable, but very peaceful at the same time.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Uncertain don't know. I might be losing my mind.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? All of them
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Uncertain I guess so. I mean on movies I guess, but I thought it was bullshit.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No I guess so. I mean on movies I guess, but I thought it was bullshit.
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real Experience was definitely real It has been a couple of days I'm confused.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real It has been a couple of days I'm confused.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No Medication for my epilepsy