My family situation was not happy. At the divorce of my parents, I suffered a lot with them constantly reporting their grievances to me. I didn't exist anymore. Then my father abused me, and to survive this I took refuge in denial. My mother constantly charged me for the fact that I wanted to live with my father and his second wife. My mother neglected me, beat me when I was younger, and, as an adolescent, she left me in dangerous situations. Moreover, even though I was a good pupil and my professors tried to help me, my mother was against it. I started to make myself suffer. I was anorexic for several months.
I saw my future like a black tunnel, and I had absolutely no taste for life anymore. I decided to suicide. I swallowed tablets and bleach, and I knew that nobody would find me for several hours. When my sister found me, the family doctor didn't want to intervene according to my mother. When the ambulance arrived, the paramedic said to my mother that I would not reach the hospital in time.
At that moment, I was already out of my body. I heard that he said that my blood pressure was too low. Then I found myself in a luminous and soft place. White figures talked gently to me, and they told me a lot of things about myself. I didn't remember anything afterwards. The thing I remember is that I wanted to stay, and that they told me that it was not the moment. To help me decide, they showed me the interior of the ambulance. I heard the paramedic tell my mother that I would not make it to the hospital, and I saw her crying sincerely.
I woke up several days later at the hospital, drugged. They made me go home. The doctors required my mother to take care of me telling her that she should not leave me alone and should bring me for consultation to the psychiatric hospital. During all the days following this, I just wanted to dress in white. When I went to consult a psychiatrist, he told me after the last session that it was not me having a problem.
Date NDE Occurred: août 1979
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Suicide attempt. Life threatening event, but not clinical death
How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes When my consciousness was separated from my body, I was shown the interior of the ambulance where it was at that time. I heard the dialog between the paramedic and my mother. I knew that I was dying. Subsequently, I asked my mother if all this was true, and she confirmed it.
I clearly left my body and existed outside it
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal It depends. I often have this level of consciousness and lucidity. It was a very particular state of being, as I knew plenty of things. It was as if I were part of this light and these beings.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? When I found myself up in the light
Were your thoughts speeded up? No
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
Were your senses more vivid than usual? More vivid than usual
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. During the experience, my vision was sharper. I could see far from the place of light where I was, further than I could have done in an ordinary state.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I had no impression to have hearing, as everything that I heard was straight in my mind.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No
Did you see any beings in your experience? No
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No
The experience included: Unearthly light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? An unusually bright light
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm
What emotions did you feel during the experience? I was happy; I was loved, unbelievably loved. I felt good.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe
Did scenes from your past come back to you? No
The experience included: Awareness of the future
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from my personal future
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Greatly important to me
What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Catholic j'ai été élevée dans la religion catholique , ai fait ma première communion, ainsi que ma communion solennelle. j'ai perdu la foi lorsque mes parents ont divorcé et que mes prières sont restées sans réponse,et aussi en constatant que les pratiquants autour de moi se comportaient mal dès la sortie de l'église. cependant je suis restée théiste, et le suis toujours.
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No
What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Greatly important to me
What is your religion now? Buddhist je suis théiste, je crois qu'il existe un lien universel de toutes les âmes incarnées et non incarnées, que nous sommes guidés et que nous avons chacun, chacune ,une mission particulière ici bas; et qu'aussi modeste qu'elle puisse paraitre elle participe à un grand tout, pour le plus grand bien de tous les êtres;
Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience les mois précédant ma tentative de suicide, j'ai commencé à percevoir ce qui m'a été révélé et confirmé par les êtres de lumière, c'est un peu comme si j'avais été accompagnée; mais je me rappelle aussi l'avoir vécu lors du décès de mon arrière grand-père que je connaissais tes peu, il est décédé à 800 km de chez moi, et il est venu me parler dans mon sommeil. la semaine d'après nous recevions la nouvelle par courrier
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No
The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No
Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No
During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No
During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes je l'ai ressenti et vécu lorsque j'étais dans la lumière et que les êtres me parlaient;
Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? God does not exist
During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? No
Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? I am uncertain if God exists
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes The light beings gave me information about what my life would be so that I would comprehend it. They also told me that I would have no memories about what they told me, but that it would guide me. I believe that I would be helping people to care for their soul, to love themselves, to love life on Earth. They gave me the assurance that I would find the love I needed.
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are meaningful and significant
During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes oui je sais encore que c'est ce dont les êtres m'ont parlé , je sais que c'est en moi et que cela me guide , mais c'est un sentiment très fort je n'ai aucun souvenir de ce qui m'a été dit
Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? An afterlife definitely exists
Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists Yes
Did you fear death prior to your experience? I did not fear death
Do you fear death after your experience? I do not fear death
Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Greatly fearful in living my earthly life
Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are meaningful and significant
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are meaningful and significant
Did you gain information about how to live our lives? Yes que nous sommes tous liés , que ce que chaque personne qui a de bonnes intentions et qui émet de l'amour (universel) fait isolément contribue à améliorer le monde. et que c'est aussi pour cela que parfois on reçoit des informations au sujet d'événements importants qui ont lieu dans des endroits très éloignés de nous. que l'on a parfois le sentiment d'être seul à être éveillé et conscient de l'importance de nos actes, mais que nous sommes nombreux en fait et que parfois on se rencontre;
During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Yes oui les êtres de lumière m'ont donné des informations sur ce que serait ma vie afin de que je la comprenne, ils m'ont dit aussi que je n'aurais plus de souvenir de ce qu'ils me disaient mais que cela me guiderait
Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others
During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes oui concernant l'amour dont j'avais besoin , ils m'ont donné l'assurance que je le trouverais
Were you compassionate after your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others
What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life Before the experience, I knew that I was watched over. Since, I live knowing that I was guided, that I followed a path.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No No
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? No
How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience aujourd'hui encore je me rappelle de cette expérience , alors que je n'ai pratiquement pas de souvenir précis de cette époque de ma vie, juste des bribes ;
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Some days later I told it to my mother to get confirmations, then to the psychiatrist.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real It was as if a part of me were staying up there. Then I came back to Earth, progressively back to me. It was as if I were being protected by making me come back gradually in order that I could well integrate what I was told.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real I know that it was real, I know it intrinsically. There's no doubt in my mind that I lived it.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? We are all connected. What each well-intentioned person does individually and those giving love universally contribute to improve the world. That's the reason we sometimes receive information about important events happening in places very far from us. Sometimes we have the feeling that we are the only one awake and conscious of the importance of our deeds, but, in fact, we are many and sometimes we meet.