On the evening of my eighteenth birthday (my birthdate is 05/09/1970) I had a motorcycle accident. I was a back-seat passenger. The rider and I were drunk and at midnight, we collided with a parked vehicle in front of the hospital. According to the reports, I struck the asphalt twice. The second time, I no longer had my crash helmet on because the first impact made me loose it. I probably had fainted because when I opened my eyes again, I was on a stretcher surrounded by doctors from the ambulance service. They were asking me to count their fingers in order to avoid fainting again, without any luck. I fell into a light coma. I would go out of it for five days later. Meanwhile, I had been operated on for the many fractures and the beginning of bleeding due to the cranial and facial trauma.
It is at that time that I had this experience. I have remembered every single detail for the past fifteen years and which I’ll probably remember until my end of life.
I remember myself floating (the word is not very suitable, it was like being only a pair of eyes... no more bodily sensations, of no sort). The surroundings were black - no tunnel, no light, no ‘ghost’, nothing else other than the consciousness which got rid of its superfluous thoughts.
In the middle was the operating table and the surgeons and the nurses were quite busy.
Upon waking a few days later, I answered the police officers' questions (always tactfully... how ironic) as well as the doctors’ questions. I told them about what I saw. I described the surgeon, the place where the operation took place, the number of people who were present during the operation, where they stood, and some other details. He seemed to be astonished and told to me that ‘If the accident hadn’t occurred right in front of the hospital, you probably would not be with us anymore’. Then he went out of the room. It is at that time that the nurse told to me that I had an NDE. It is much later that I learned what that meant.
Date NDE Occurred: 05/09/1988
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Accident à priori une mort clinique mais le staff de l'hopital n'a pas voulu m'en dire plus à l'epoque.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Disturbing
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Uncertain I suppose that a separation occurred, but without any figure. Just the vision and the feeling to be disembodied (no sound, no pain).
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? I felt serene. Perfectly well but not lucid, there I mean that I didn’t think either of what happened to me, nor of what was happening at this moment. Besides, I did not think at all… I had rather the feeling to be free. I miss this state-of-being and I tried to return to it over a long period of time, in vain...
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning Time stopped during the experiment or at least, I had no idea of time passing. It’s only when I was out of the hospital (3 months later) that I realized that I had totally lost track of time. Since that time, I mainly live at night.
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No
The experience included: Darkness
Did you see an unearthly light? No
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe I 'saw' through people. There, I mean that I perceived their intentions, their emotions and their feelings as someone hearing music in headphones of a Walkman. It was so perturbing that I refused to have any visitors. Alas, this continued. Gradually I got some abilities for a form of perspicacity. I don’t really like this word but anyway it’s a little bit that. Let’s say, since this time, I have an intuition and a capacity for anticipating which has increased.
To be clear, I perceived everything as if naked and I don’t understand why nobody else can see. Since this time, I shut myself away, I am afraid of people and of their irresponsibility. I have also the personal feeling that I “came back” for a good reason.
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control
Did scenes from the future come to you? No
Did you come to a border or point of no return? No
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What was your religion prior to your experience? Liberal croire en dieu sans y croire, juste parceque ça aide parfois.
What is your religion now? Liberal dieu a baissé considerablement dans mon estime. je ne sais plus si je crois.
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Uncertain When we talk about traveling by plane or by train to somebody, he can understand and share what is said. In the case of an NDE, how can you be sure that the person you are speaking to really understands you? That’s why I prefer to not go into details.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes See question #16.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The best: the feeling of beatitude at the time of the NDE. The worst: the fifteen following years.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes With my mother. I also lost the memory of my teenage years (approximately the few years before the accident). She listened to me without really understanding or knowing what to answer me. With some friends, too much inclined to tell about similar stories they heard about (of no help at all, in fact). With a psychiatrist during nine months. There, it is a little bit funny. Using my capacities of perception, I reversed his own method towards him and forced him to speak about his own problems (it is a long story without so much interest but this disturbed him enough to push him to decide to stop the sessions).
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I am not on the same wavelength with the world anymore. Every day, I think at least once about suicide even if I am not suicidal. I have never attempted suicide and I won’t do it… but I think about it… every day.
Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? The questionnaire is good but the background of the home page disturbs me ;) With its look of sky and clouds, I had the feeling to fill in a questionnaire to enter paradise. That’s it, do not hesitate to contact me, I want to understand!!