"Beyond the Tunnel: A Death Experience by Suzanne Boehm. It is my sincere hope to be able to help strengthen others' spirituality by expanding their knowledge of the Creator's Divine Love. LOVE IS THE ANSWER TO EVERYTHING!
'Open wide,' coaxed my dentist, as he held the whirring drill perilously close to my mouth.
It was meant to be a routine appointment and, at his urging, I obeyed. I began to meditate even before the nitrous oxide took effect. Meditation always has been a coping mechanism for me when in the dentist's chair. Sympathetic to my phobia - brought on in part by the insensitivity of his predecessors - this doctor took extreme care to ensure my comfort. He liked the room at sub-zero temperature, so I was tucked under a wool blanket, administered nitrous oxide, given a shot of Novocain, and hooked up to radio earphones tuned to my favorite classical music. In today's procedure, he worked critically close to a nerve in preparation for a gold crown replacement.
One thing was certain - like most people, I detested going to the dentist.
On this particular visit, fully aware of the work taking place, I was in excruciating pain. My doctor, sensitive to my plight, injected me with more Novocain. I closed my eyes in meditation and invited the protective white Light to wash over me. I then waited for the Novocain and nitrous oxide to take effect. The meditation wasn't fully warding off the pain, so I inquired whether the usual procedure was being followed. He nodded 'yes' as he reached for more Novocain. I again invoked the Light and felt myself drifting to the outer edges of consciousness. I began to float, but the feeling of suspension I normally experienced seemed amiss. Somehow, today would be different.
When I closed my eyes, the dark void did not crystallize into the multi-colored kaleidoscope that usually formed in my inner eye. Instead, I found myself in a dark corridor or tunnel. After focusing my eyes, I detected rays of light emanating from a central source. Magnetic-like forces were pulling me toward this light. As I drew closer, I discerned that what I thought were rays of light were actually other Beings like myself. We were being pulled toward the vibrant light at the end of the tunnel and held in a state of suspended animation. I felt a floating sensation as the Light drew me toward it. The closer I got, the better I felt! Buoyant, joyful, stress-free. I felt serene and totally unencumbered by the stresses of daily life. Nothing material existed any more, to our great relief! I wanted this experience to go on forever. It was a better place by far than anywhere I'd ever been. One by one, all Beings reached the end of the tunnel, and we were drawn through a doorway of light into a rainbow of colors. I felt as though suspended in the aurora borealis. Specks of glitter attached themselves to the Beings ascending ahead of me, and their forms were bathed in an eerie glow. As I passed through the rainbow I too picked up extra sparkle only to discover that these glittering pulses of light were the souls of the pets we had loved during our lifetime. Their souls were in the rainbow waiting for us as we passed through this gateway of light.
After passing through this multi-colored effervescence, I rose, gently, through myriad layers of incandescent light that shimmered above me. Each shone brighter than the one before it, forming an array of diamond-like scintilla, and each had a different intensity as well as subtle shadings of white. As I ascended, layer by layer, I felt caressed by a loving warmth and harmony, as my being was emptied of tension, fear, and stress. I was overwhelmed by feelings of compassion and understanding as the beauty of it all took my breath away. The splendor at each level brought tears of joy, so moved was I by the awesome beauty that enveloped and permeated every atom of my body. Never, ever in my life had I felt the kind of love and peace '...that surpasseth understanding.'
The dentist, misreading the cues, wrongly interpreted my tears as proof that I required more Novocain to allay the pain. He could not know that my tears were a manifestation of the ecstasy that suffused my entire being.
I moved through each white layer in slow motion and came to rest at the top, where the central source of light was cradled. The strata of light I moved through formed a crescent-shaped nest for the ball of energy to rest in. I could stare directly into this sphere of light, yet not be blinded by its brilliance. I watched transfixed as the translucent ball continued to throb with a life of its own. With the rhythm of each pulsation, the color would shift and harmonize the many subtle hues of the light spectrum. Radiating softly, it beckoned to me, inviting me to bathe in its afterglow. The shimmer of light often seen at the crest of an ocean wave best describes it, and I longed to dive in and let the crystal clear water wash over me. An inner gate opened, allowing love to flood of my senses and leaving me immersed in feelings of ineffable beauty and tranquility.
I couldn't help feeling that I was part of an immense solar system - as though the infinite core of a newly-formed star was drawing me closer and closer. And even this concept is too small to describe it. What I became part of was as vast as the Universe itself, and the energy sparks that it released were our very souls.
The thought that began to form was, 'We are God's galactic glitter!'
My initial reaction to what swirled around me was denial. The nitrous oxide had to be the reason for my hallucinations. My thoughts soon turned to questions of my own mortality. Was there life after life? Is life an endless continuum or only a cradle-to-grave reality? And, who actually runs the show? My thoughts continued in this vein, gradually becoming more probing.
I felt a certain dichotomy: my body remained in the dental chair while my mind, soul and spirit were suspended in the last layer of light. I felt an irresistible urge to submerge myself in the ball of energy that hovered over me. Yet, concern for my surroundings continued to plague me. Was I really on the other side of life? Was I DEAD?
Unsettled by the twists and turns of my mind, my confused thoughts struggled to 'get back' to the dental chair.
It wasn't until the fifth shot of Novocain that my doctor took notice of the trouble afoot. He frantically ripped away the nitrous oxide mask, and ordered his assistant to increase my oxygen intake. I picked up on my doctor's thoughts telepathically, 'Trouble? Trouble? I'm not in any trouble,' or so I dazedly thought.
I slipped through the barriers my thoughts were erecting, back into the light that enveloped me with its compassion, leaving me in a state of euphoria. I had no form, no eyes, yet I could 'feel' and 'see.' I was all mind. I vaguely discerned other souls at this level, but recognized no one in particular. We were energy thought-forms, each soul a point of light. The others looked at me with a warm and loving awareness. I heard them say, 'We know that you know where you are going.' Bewildered, I thought, 'How could I possibly know where I'm going when I'm not even sure I know where I am!' They seemed happy to see me, and their unified radiance and loving reassurances were both supportive and overwhelming. All tension dissolved from my mind, with unending bliss taking its place.
'It cannot get better than this,' and with that thought, I catapulted to the center of the sphere of Light. Catching my breath in wonderment and overcome by the beauty that surrounded me, I surrendered to a caring warmth, love, harmony and understanding such as I have never known. I seemed to possess infinite knowledge and any question that crossed my mind provided its own answer. It would take me the rest of my life to ferret out the words that would do justice to the magnificence of this divine place. I also knew that the language of our earthly realm and its limitations could not begin to describe the pure ecstasy of what I saw and felt during my unearthly odyssey.
All this aside, I still questioned where I found myself ... until 'He' spoke again.
A voice resonated from the core of light as the light's pulsations again shifted rhythmically, and pastel hues of pink, lavender and blue danced before my eyes. The light's radiance was comparable to the facets of ten trillion diamonds, all sparkling at once. The Voice, now as close to me as my own breath, whispered, It's all right, you are here with Me.
My thoughts exploded with the shocking realization that God was talking to me! He reassured me.
Yes, I am the Light and you are with me ... you are safe ... you are here with me.
It emphasized how much each one of us is loved and valued by the Divine. I let go and willingly surrendered to Infinite Wisdom and Essential Truth.
The Presence then lovingly highlighted certain events from my life worthy of review and, speaking with authority, instructed me to: Write down and share these vignettes from your life.
After conversations with beings of light, The Infinite Spirit gave me insight into life's most profound questions and provided me with an understanding of the 'Missing Ingredient' that will enrich your life this side of the tunnel. He then proceeded to instruct me to write this book.
I listened intently, not wanting to miss a word.
Finish your projects. Write down this experience. You can count on my help. Write a book about what you have just been through, exactly as it happened. You can do it!
Weave in your life experiences and share the lessons you've learned. Tell them about the beauty, peace, and glory of 'Graduation'. Close your book with the 'missing ingredient'!
Pausing, He added, 'That should have the making of a bestseller!' He exulted as if He was to author the book Himself.
In an instant, He gave me the whole outline of the book in telepathic transference. 'Pretty amazing,' I thought. He seemed quite pleased with His work and piqued my curiosity further with references to 'graduation' and 'the missing ingredient'.
I don't know how to write a book I pleaded. I've never written before. I felt a knot form in my solar plexus. He had to be mistaken.
I will guide you.
Ignoring my misgivings, He went on, If you decide to return, I would like you to mentor others. Teach them what you have learned through your life lessons. Start by assisting people to work at what they love.
The shimmering silver and gold light that enveloped us in this celestial palace began to shift in color and took on a red pulsating hue. There was a long pause before God's next utterance.
There are those among you who say they are doing what they love ... then spend a lifetime reviling what they do!
He sounded disappointed and I could feel His pain.
His tone changed and the pulsating red light slowed, and was again transmuted into an energy field of gold and silver. After a long silence He continued, 'Help people choose what they love to do and then tell them: TO ... DO ... IT WITH LOVE!'
I was relieved that all He wanted me to do was share my life lessons; that was something I knew I could do.
I carefully pondered the decision confronting me.
Now where was I when I died? Ah, yes, I was in the dentist's chair.
I was reminded of my long friendship with my dentist when I suddenly blurted out, 'Oh no, this man will be devastated if I were to die in his chair!' On that altruistic thought, my choice was made, and everything went black. I was no longer in God's presence.
Without further ado, I found myself floating near the ceiling in the dentist's office. A gray cloud cloaked the room below me. Looking down from my lofty position, I blinked in disbelief. The hazy vapor cleared slightly and, peering through it, I saw my dentist bending over me with great alarm. There was overwhelming anxiety in his expression and great concern in his voice. He couldn't find a pulse and decided I was in deep trouble.
The doctor shouted to the nurse to increase my flow of oxygen as he bent over me in panic, calling my name.
'Suzanne! Suzanne,' he repeated with great urgency in his voice.
As he called out my name, everything went black for the second time. Leaving my body was easy compared to re-entering it. My heart seemed to cramp up as it struggled to find its rhythm. The first beat of my heart felt like a sledgehammer hitting my chest. The pain of reentering my physical body was excruciating. Fear engulfed me. 'God promised me I could return,' I reassured myself. There were things He wanted me to do. The darkness dissipated.
'Suzanne, Suzanne are you there?'
My eyes opened. I was back! I was back in my body looking up at my bewildered dentist, tears streaming down my face, as I stammered, 'I'm okay, I'm okay.' He thought I was in intense pain because the Novocain hadn't worked. He had no way of knowing that my tears were tears of joy at being alive and getting a second chance. I wasn't ready to tell him where my moments in absentia had taken me. I didn't think he would believe me. Would anyone believe me?
I spent the rest of the day lying on the couch in his back office. I refused to allow him to send me to the hospital. I knew my condition was only temporary. I knew I would be fine and just needed time to recuperate from the jolt of my re-entry. I used the time to reflect on the incredible journey I had just taken.
I caught myself smiling as I thought of the often-used expression, 'This really is the first day of the rest of my life!'
Date NDE Occurred: 'July 13, 1993'
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Surgery-relatedAllergic reaction I died in the dentist chair Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function or brain function) . It wasn't supposed to be life threatening. But I flat lined during dental surgery.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Wonderful
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I clearly left my body and existed outside it
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal As above.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? At all times. I retained everything from the other side. I was in super consciousness.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning There was no sense of time and yet it was only four earthly minutes.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Did your vision differ in any way from normal? All of above. All questions were known instantly.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes See main narrative.
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes I ascended, white layer by white layer, each layer brighter than the one before. I discerned other souls at the last layer that cradled the magnificent ball of light. I had no form, no eyes, yet I could feel and see. I was all mind. I recognized no one in particular. We were energy thought-forms, each soul a point of light. The others looked at me with a warm and loving awareness. I heard them say, 'We know that you know where you are going.' They seemed happy to see me, and their unified radiance and loving reassurances were both supportive and over-whelming. All tension dissolved from my mind, with unending bliss taking its place.
The experience included: Void
The experience included: Darkness
The experience included: Light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes After ascending through layers of incandescent light there was a magnificent ball of light. The strata of light I moved through formed a crescent-shaped nest for the ball of energy to rest in. I could stare directly into this sphere of light, yet not be blinded by its brilliance. The translucent ball throbbed with a life of its own. With the rhythm of each pulsation, the color would shift and harmonize the many subtle hues of the light spectrum. Radiating softly, it beckoned to me, inviting me to bathe in its afterglow. I couldn't help feeling that I was part of an immense solar system.
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm Levels of white light. I would consider the dimension of being in the realm of the Transcendent' space as a very distinctive dimension.
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Awe, beauty, compassionate, harmony. Woes of the world were lifted from my shoulders. The challenging talk of recounting my personal experience in 'the Great Beyond' was daunting, to say the least. Ferreting out the right words to describe the 'indescribable' is done with the hope that it will add a sense of wonderment to the understanding of the life beyond. The emotion of hope, a sense of safety; a lifting of the spirit; a smile; the splendor brought tears of joy from the beauty of this transcendental experience. I felt serene and totally unencumbered. Love flooded my senses and left me immersed in feelings of ineffable beauty and tranquility. I felt a kind of love and peace that surpasseth understanding. The voice of the Creator washed over me like an ethereal blanket of love emitting waves of healing compassion, permeating my very essence. I know how much each one of us is loved and valued by the Divine. I let go and willingly surrendered to Infinite Wisdom and Essential Truth. A soothing voice of Source washed over my consciousness and raised my awareness to higher levels of understanding.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
The experience included: Special Knowledge
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe
The experience included: Life review
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control To describe the life review would be like re-writing my whole book. The Creator took me through the life review Himself and finished each scenario with a 'Lesson for Life'. (you would have to read the book to get the whole life review. It is too immense a task to write it all here again. Forgive me. This is exhausting.)
The experience included: Vision of the future
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What was your religion prior to your experience? Moderate Baptized in 15 different religions because I was an orphan growing up. Explained in my book.
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I am a child of God and therefore belong to the Universal Church of God. I am with God wherever I am in the world. I have trouble with organized religion.
What is your religion now? Liberal 'Field Minister with Dodona Community Church Of Religious Science, Jamul, CA Follow all religions that have ''God'' at their helm.'
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I am a child of God and therefore belong to the Universal Church of God. I am with God wherever I am in the world. I have trouble with organized religion.
The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes The Creator explained who we are as spiritual beings. Spirit showed me that we existed before, we exist now, and will forever be connected as spiritual consciousness. For edification, He used the language of symbols (star, comet and circle) to illustrate that we are, first and foremost, spiritual and, as such eternally connected to Him. To illustrate what he meant to convey, God drew a circle. He then traced an open parenthesis intersecting the circle, pinpointing that this represents our birth. He then drew a closed parenthesis not far away from the first, which represents the end of our earthly life. The space between the two parentheses represents our human existence. Death is the closed Parenthesis and represents our GRADUATION back to the world of spirit. What a sweeping gesture, He indicated that the rest of the circle is what we, as spirit, have yet to experience.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes In a group discussing, what I deem to be negative, I leave. I have had to sever several friendships because their conversation is 100% complaining with no chance of stopping. I am careful who I choose to be around. It definitely has isolated me from most of the population. I choose to see musicals, nature movies and can no longer stand horror or killing, or movies of rape, incest and stay away from them. The blockbuster movie houses sure won't get rich on me, with their blood and guts approach to entertainment.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes There are no earthly words to describe the magnificence of the experience. However, I did my best in my book: Beyond The Tunnel: A Near-Death Experience. It was difficult to translate the world of the nebulous and make it concrete, thereby giving earthly life to an awesome transcendental experience.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes Totally balanced energy field with no breaks in my aura. Extreme sensitivity. Hearing negative conversations really upset me. I cannot be a part of that any more. I feel no longer a part of this world but only on the edge of it. I am aware of people that drain my peaceful energy and avoid them. Extremely sensitive to souls of small animals. Can't keep my watch running. Turn street lights out. Am sensitive to people thoughts. Pay attention to the messages and messengers on the pathway. Recognize the continued contact and messages of affirmation from the other side as to what I am doing and the decisions I make.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The fact that I was talking to God and was being told to write a book and bring back His messages. The assurance that God exists and is always with us and that His promises are fulfilled. The quotes from God in the form of 'Life Lessons' at the end of each of sections of life review!
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No Never. Lived in Europe before and never heard of it there either.
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real. It is as real to me today, fourteen years later, as it was when it happened. I also talked to doctors, philosophers, psychologist and various ministers from a variety of religions to make sure I wasn't crazy.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real. It is a vivid reality that will never change. It is with me every day. It is now my mission to share that God, source, The One, The Higher, the transcendent, or whatever one wants to call the Creator, the Spirit REALLY EXITS. HE IS NOT A FIGMENT OF OUR IMAGINATION. HE IS REAL.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? It is my fervent hope that my unearthly odyssey will bring inspiration to others in their spiritual enfoldment.
Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? My brain in is a whole new space. Places I had never dreamed of doing before.