I was much younger then - in reality, maybe eighteen. I came out of my body. I could see the family around my bed crying. I was sucked into a tunnel that was incredibly noisy, and was shot out into the light - the golden light! I can remember thinking that my heart was exploding into millions of particles and that I was melting into the universal One of LOVE. That's all there was - 'LOVE.' A golden glowing LOVE that was so intense that I felt my heart wouldn't be able to contain it all.
Then somebody spoke to me in a loud voice. It was my dad. He said I had to go back because my mission wasn't over yet.
I fell back into my body in the bed, with a great sadness. My soul was totally sad, and I could not explain what had just happened to me. I remember getting up out of bed and wondering if I was going to die.
The next morning I found out that my dad was in the intensive care unit and had had a massive heart attack. He pulled through and lived for four more years after that. He, by some uncanny transfer, enabled me to live a NDE without going through the death stuff, for particular reasons. I did not see my life pass before my eyes, because I wasn't dying - he was. But the rest happened.
Date NDE Occurred: 1980
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Heart attack Other My Dad was dying from a massive heart attack in the States
For my Dad, not for me. I was simply asleep in France, and he was in the intensive care unit in the States when this happened. I didn't find out until the next day that he had had a heart attack!!!
How do you consider the content of your experience? Wonderful
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes
I clearly left my body and existed outside it
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal All throughout the experience.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? All throughout the experience.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Faster than usual
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
Traveling at the speed of light.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Perceptions were different: sounds seemed louder, colors, warmer.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Louder.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes It was a noisy, dark tunnel, but the light was waiting for me at the end of it.
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No
The experience included: Light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes It was a sphere of warm golden light.
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Intense LOVE!
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
The experience included: Special Knowledge
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What was your religion prior to your experience? Liberal
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes All comes from within. We, and only we, can do the work to complete our mission.
What is your religion now? Liberal
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes All comes from within. We, and only we, can do the work to complete our mission.
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes God is One, the One is Love, that's all there is. We fold back into the One.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I know this is a temporary situation. The desire to be one is very important. Meditation helps me to relive the experience.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes I lived the experience instead of my dad!!!! He was the one who was dying.
Someone spoke to me in a loud voice and said I needed to come back. It was my Dad! He said I hadn't finished my mission yet.
I experienced Heaven, the One - God.
It was hard to explain to people, especially when you tell them that it was so incredible that you wanted to stay there instead of coming back.
I fell back into my body with a great sadness.
My dad survived and lived for four more years; but, through this experience, he gave me an incredible gift.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes Higher sensorial perception.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? I realized that we spend most of our lives trying to be the mirrors of that eternal love from which we stem. We are each born with a spark of it. One does not know one is 'one,' unless one can see 'oneself' in some kind of mirror. We have one objective in life - to build a love bank to take back with us into the Universal ONE.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes My family recently rejected me totally for telling them this story. They aren't speaking to me anymore. And my Dad died four years after the experience. I recently wrote a book about this experience, and now I would like to give conferences about it.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real Shortly after it happened, I saw the experience as 'definitely real.' I felt very sad, and even depressed, being away from the source of that intense LOVE.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real I still see the experience as 'definitely real.'
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? So far, I have never heard anyone else tell a story about living the NDE experience for someone else, as their gift to us.