On November 13, 2002, I was conducting a seminar one second, and experiencing tremendous abdominal pain the next. I asked my assistant to take over. (According to clients, who later visited me, I also said, ‘I am not sure if I will ever be back’). I had been studying the power of gratitude and had an immediate sense that this was to be a life-changing event, so a peace came over me, even as I waited for the ambulance. As the attendants cared for me, I remember being grateful and not fearful. Once in the hospital, in a small town, I was transferred to the intensive care unit by the evening of the following day. I was not sure what I had at that point and was in and out of consciousness. I recall that on November 18, two friends were visiting one second and the next, I was in what I thought was a large room. I soon realized I did not have my body, and that I was surrounded by consciousness; ‘pure consciousness’ is the only way I can describe it in human terms. Everything just is total love. There was consciousness that came to me in the form of people I recognized: no bodies, just consciousness. There was a mention of all the lives that I had touched and at first, I did not realize that it was me that had touched all those lives. As flashes of those I had helped in life came to me, I realized it was me that was being ‘discussed’. In that same moment, I was asked, ‘Stay or go?’ and I thought, ‘Well, I have touched a lot of lives, thy will be done’ and surrendered totally to the moment. I did not decide whether to stay or go, I simply surrendered fully into that moment. Before I knew it, I was back in the hospital room. I began getting better from that moment on.A few weeks went by and the same two friends came to visit me again. As I told them about my experience, one said, ‘Oh, that was Monday. You were in and out of consciousness and the nurses and doctors came running in as your vital signs were collapsing, they said, ‘Call his family, this is it.’Today I share my story of how we are loved and safe and that the lives we touch go with us: they mean something. When I totally surrendered into the moment, my greatest gift came: a realization that the present is all we have and there is nothing to fear because we are all one with this mysterious, glorious creation called a Universe. Thank you. I am grateful for the work you do.
Date NDE Occurred: 11/18/2002
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? No Illness 'Life threatening event, but not clinical death'
Acute necrotizing pancreatitis.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I did hear what I thought was my eulogy.
I clearly left my body and existed outside it
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal Back in my body, I notice how my ego interferes with my ability to totally surrender into the present moment.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? At the moment I realized I would be safe no matter what, and totally surrendered into the moment.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
Were your senses more vivid than usual? No
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I saw nothing.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Very hard to explain in words. I was one with consciousness…
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No
The experience included: Presence of deceased persons
Did you see any beings in your experience? I sensed their presence
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes Family members, friends and acquaintances.
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? No
Did you see an unearthly light? No
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Peace.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? No
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
The experience included: Special knowledge or purpose
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe
Did scenes from your past come back to you? I remembered many past events
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from my personal future If I was ‘hearing’ my eulogy, then yes.
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will I consider being asked to ‘Stay or go?’ that boundary and I surrendered fully into whatever was next. Either way, it did not matter, since I realized that my life to that point did matter to so many lives that I had touched, staying or going was OK.
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Greatly important to me
What was your religion prior to your experience? Unaffiliated- Nothing in particular- Secular unaffiliated I was studying Ernest Holmes and Kabbalah to name a few
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes Expanded and confirmed what I only suspected before.
What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Greatly important to me
What is your religion now? Other or several faiths After my NDE...All is Divine...in a Universe
Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience while much of my experience was consistent with my beliefs at the time....the experience was also far and above my human knowing
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I have full faith in helping others.
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I heard a voice I could not identify Streams of consciousness confirmed that I had touched many lives and then I was asked, ‘Stay or go?’.
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I sensed their presence
Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No
During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No
During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes I was one with it
Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? God probably exists
During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Uncertain besides the stream of consciousness ...the voice that said "stay or go"
Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God definitely exists
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes I am empowered now to live without fear and follow my calling, what is inside me, following my heart, my passion and my intuition; the small, still voice within me.
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are possibly meaningful and significant
During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes Yes......that our careers, mistakes, money, etc mean nothing....that the lives we touch, those we help, reach out to....this is a part of what we are to do and to surrender to the present as this is all there is....and that we are one with the Universal C
Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? An afterlife probably exists
Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists Yes being asked stay or go, and having consciousness
Did you fear death prior to your experience? I greatly feared death
Do you fear death after your experience? I do not fear death
Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Greatly fearful in living my earthly life
Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Slightly fearful in living my earthly life
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are meaningful and significant
Did you gain information about how to live our lives? Yes There is no heaven or hell.....we pay here for our "sins"...cause and effect.......there is no "reward" for a "good life".....we join the pure consciousness at the time of leaving our body and we are all one
During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Yes So we can learn and grow...ultimately learning the power we have within us to create our lives if we honor our calling, our Divine purpose
Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Moderately compassionate toward others
During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes We are loved.....not in the human love definition...in a Universal way....the Divine, the Universe is in all and we are one with it....there is no need to search for God, The Divine or the Source, Universe whatever we call it....it is within us....all of
Were you compassionate after your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others
What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life I live more fully and my experience allows me to help others achieve their dreams.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes Yes I am changing so things around me change.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes
How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience Amazing is all I can say
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes There is a certain fabric to life that did not exist before my experience.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Receiving validation that I had been touching the lives of others in meaningful ways. Surrendering to the moment. Not fearing life provided we live following our calling and our passion. That nothing we strive or struggle for here (such as fame, wealth, material possessions, titles, etc.) means anything on the other side, nor do the mistakes we make. We are here to make mistakes to know we are alive and to grow.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes A few weeks after, and they validated the events that happened to me in the hospital room while I was out of my body.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real It has been the greatest gift of my life.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes Well, if you count certain events I call ‘god winks.’
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I am truly blessed and grateful to have experienced this and was at the time, even though it meant another 95 days in and out of hospitals, 60 of which were straight through, and six months out of work, and many bills that I paid off completely over the past several years. I’m grateful because I have nothing to fear and I have written books and given seminars and changed my direction quite a few times and each move has expanded my life.
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