I don't know why or how but I was in a white place where you couldn't see anything. Then I saw this white bridge with my dead uncle Nick (he was my favorite family member who died when I was in the fourth grade) standing there. I went up to him and he spoke to me. He was telling me that this was the 'family bridge' where everyone in our family goes after we die. One member of the family is there to greet us. After we cross the bridge, there is no going back. But, I didn't have to stay. I had to choose to either go back and live and suffer in many ways but find what I've been looking for, or stay with him but I would never be able to go back to my life. I remember not believing that I was really there thinking that he wasn't really there either and asking him to let me touch his face but he wouldn't let me. Then he asked me what I wanted to do and I said, 'Well if this is heaven then I'll go back.' I'm still not sure what I meant by that but then he spoke to me but I don't remember what he said other than his last words, 'Everything will be okay. You will find what you're looking for, we will meet again.' The next thing I remember is being in the hospital.
Date NDE Occurred: 'March 10, 2004'
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Uncertain Accident Direct head injury 'bleeding internally, loss of ability to breath due to a punctured lung' Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function or brain function)
I was sitting in the back seat of a Tahoe with my friend driving down a two lane highway when some guy tried to do a U-turn across the highway when he hit our car. I wasn't wearing my seat belt and I felt my head slam into the window and door. Next thing I know the car I'm in, is flipping and I remember being thrown up-down-up-down and being totally conscious of all of it. I remember thinking, but not really thinking more like someone telling me in my head, 'Just keep your eyes closed, cover your face it will be over soon.'
Next thing I remember is thinking, 'I've got to get out of here.' I was trying to push my friend, who wasn't wearing his seat belt either, out the window. Next thing I know I'm lying on the side of the road unable to move but feeling every bit of the pain.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Wonderful
Did you feel separated from your body? Uncertain
I lost awareness of my body
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? Normal consciousness and alertness
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? When I was asking him if I could touch his face because I was there I could think while I was there. After he said no I remember crying, I could feel the tears on my face.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
It was like time didn't exist where I was, like nothing really existed but just was. I don't know if that even makes any sense to you.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Everything was so bright white and the ground was bright white too but not solid, kind of like whipped cream.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Nick's words were coming from his mouth, but were more internally heard than normal conversations. I was like he was in my head talking to me.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No
The experience included: Presence of deceased persons
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes I saw my dead uncle Nick.
The experience included: Light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? Uncertain Everything was bright and white like everything was surrounded in a bright light.
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm everything was so bright white and the ground was bright white too but not solid kind of like whipped cream, there seemed to be nothing far as the eye could see but that white bridge and my uncle
What emotions did you feel during the experience? A wonderful calm, like the best I've ever felt like I was at peace, like a warm blanket was wrapped around me. I felt very reassured after speaking to Nick like no matter what happened in my life everything would turn out okay.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
The experience included: Special Knowledge
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future Nick told me I would suffer in many ways but everything would be okay and I would find what I looking for, when I returned I suffered much physical and mental pain from the accident. My parents tried to get me under a guardianship so they could take all the money I received from the law suit after the accident, but then I got my money, moved away from them and met the man of my dreams. I think that was the 'what you're looking for'. I had always been looking to meet the man of my dreams. Unlike most woman when I say man of my dreams, I actually mean the man I had been dreaming of for years; the way he looks, the personality he has, even where he was from, the things we do together, everything is exactly like the guy I had been dreaming of all my life.
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What was your religion prior to your experience? Liberal no real religion
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I believe in an afterlife and that both good and bad things always happen for a reason, that everything, every event, every decision is connected.
What is your religion now? Moderate 'I definitely believe in God but disagree with most churches belief's and views, I have a strong belief that everything happens for a reason'
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I believe in an afterlife and that both good and bad things always happen for a reason, that everything, every event, every decision is connected.
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes I know Nick told me things some of which I'm sure had to do with my future but I can't remember, all I know is I felt very reassured after I left that place like I knew something but I still can't put my finger on it.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes The place I was, the way I felt when I was there.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Uncertain I have always had a certain gift of knowing things and reading tarot cards. I can read people very well, having a feeling of things to come, even the day of the accident my friend Russell was supposed to drive (he was a very good driver) but that morning they changed plans and Chase was going to drive. I remember trying to convince them not to have him drive not really sure why I just felt something bad would happen if he drove.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Seeing Nick again was the most wonderful experience of my life. I hadn't seen him since I was in kindergarten and I feared he was in hell because he had gotten AIDS and after battling it for many years he killed himself.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes When I was in the hospital my mother asked me if I saw anything, I told her everything, I don't know if she believed me.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real I don't know why maybe because it felt so real, I mean I could see, think, hear, and feel throughout the entire experience.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real As above. Also, I just have a feeling that Nick was right that even though I did and still do suffer I did find what I had been looking for.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No