Experience Description

Events surrounding NDE: I had not been feeling well for a couple of weeks. I had been running a 'low temp' and had 'cold' like symptoms. I continued to go to work. One afternoon, when I got home from work, I started 'shaking' and 'shivering'. I could not get warm. I went upstairs to go to bed and I must have had at least seven or eight blankets on me. I just could not get warm.

All of a sudden, everything went 'black.' Total blackness that I can't even describe, it was so black. I didn't see anything, but I head a very loud 'rasping' like sound. I then found myself out on this beautiful field. It was bright, sunshine day. I can't describe the vivid colors and how beautiful it was. I was still shaking. I could not cross the field. For some reason, I knew that I could not. Way across the field (and I would use 'miles' to describe it), there was a beautiful carousel with several beautiful women on it. They were all dressed in light pastel colors. Dresses that were 'floor-length.' It's hard to describe. Light material type of dresses, and they all had 'parasols' (you know, they look like umbrellas, but they're not). One lady got off the carousel and came over to me. She took my hand, and I immediately stopped shaking and I felt GREAT! No words were spoken.

She then slowly shook her head 'no' and let go of my hand. But it was so gentle and loving. I immediately started shaking again and screaming for her to come back to me, (she went back across the field). The blackness closed in again, and I heard the loud rasping noise. The next thing I knew was that I was on the way to the hospital. I had double pneumonia with a temperature of one hundred and five.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Double pneumonia - I was extremely sick, and did not gain full strength for about six months. I really don't know if I stopped breathing during the experience, it would have been before I arrived at the hospital.

Did you feel separated from your body? No

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? Very consciousness and alert as to what was happening during this NDE. It did not seem like I was in any type of 'dream state'.

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? No

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Only the 'rasping' noise when it was totally black.

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Uncertain I think the 'blackness' was the tunnel. It was totally black.

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes Several ladies on the carousel (far, far across the field). One lady walked over to me and took my hand. I did not know any of the ladies. My sight was incredible.

Did you see an unearthly light? No I 'just' came out onto this beautiful field.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm As I said, the 'field' (the only word I can use to describe this beautiful place), it was so beautiful and the colors, even though 'pastel' were so gorgeous, the sunshine and beauty of the place cannot be adequately described.

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Wellness, love, beauty.

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No

Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? No

God, Spiritual and Religion:

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes Definitely, Yes! Such a long story :). If there is a 'hell' on this earth, I've been through it. My son having been brutally molested for over four years by a pedophile, my best friend - my father, dying slowly of cancer. Yet, even though, I cried and cried, no 'real' hatred happened. Where was the hatred? Through the past eighteen years, I became spiritual, rather than religious. I believe in life after death, whereas before (having been a Baptist), I believed you went to sleep until Judgment Day. My belief system has totally changed. After my father's death, I fought the urge for three years to work within a hospice. It was only after hearing Dannion Brinkley on a Sunday afternoon, that I made my decision to call the VNA and become a volunteer. When I did that, I felt like a 'ton' had been lifted from my shoulders. Hard to explain, but I know now that that 'urge' was meant for me to do what I am now doing. I read everything I could get my hands on regarding 'death and dying.' I studied and studied. It's like I 'drank' all the information I could get. I even became a certified CNA so I could help my hospice patients more.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes The colors and beauty and love surrounding the experience.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes Hard question to answer. At the time, I've never heard of NDE's, and everyone I spoke with said it was the 'fever' of the pneumonia. Over the years (nothing happened immediately), I felt myself changing. Six months after this experience, I developed severe panic/phobias. (I am still on meds for this.) But, I can 'sense' when something bad is going to happen. I can sense when someone is around me. I can feel the 'touch' of Angels when I need the reassurance. My dad came to me after his death (another story). Even though it's been eighteen years, things are still 'slowly' getting stronger with me. It's kind of scary.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Best: FEELING GREAT! Worst: Making me 'go home'.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Until I met friends who were 'new age' and more 'spiritual' type of friends who believed me. When I spoke to others, I was told it was a hallucination from the fever, not real, forget about it, a dream, etc. etc.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No Even though I'm still on meds (several of them) because of 'emotional' issues, I've never had the experience or any part of it that I did eighteen years ago. I've had pneumonia several times since, and it has not happened.

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? No, except that I remember ever single detail, eighteen years later.