It was springtime and my friend Clare who owned the horse we rode was warming up for a show at our barn. Clare asked me if I wanted to warm up too so I said sure. We were at the far end of the field and I asked my friend Kate to hold Stuart (the horse) while I got on. She held the reins and I put my foot in the stirrup, grabbed his mane, and got myself part of the way up in the saddle.
This part of my story is where the NDE I believe took place. Stuart bolted and dragged me down the field, as my foot was caught in the stirrup. When I came free, he trampled my leg and I had a grand mal seizure. I have no history of seizure prior to this. I had a sense of nothingness. I know that I SAW darkness. I know I felt like I was lying on the ground and looking up into darkness. There was a form that felt loving, a female who was looking over my body. (I just started to tear up feeling this story again.) 'She' was hovering it felt above me. She had an outline and it felt like her long wavy blond hair hung down too. Next, I felt being in the ambulance. I thought everything in the ambulance was bathed in a minty, misty, green glow of a light. I think I was concerned. Next, I was in the children's hospital and I know I was awake and different than thinking I was awake. My mom was there and I repeatedly started asking her what color she was wearing, if she was wearing purple pants.
Date NDE Occurred: Spring 1993
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Direct head injury Horseback riding accident 'Life threatening event, but not clinical death'
How do you consider the content of your experience? Mixed
Did you feel separated from your body? Uncertain
I lost awareness of my body
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? Less consciousness and alertness than normal As above.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? When I was on the ground and I felt a loving female presence. (When I typed that just now it overwhelmed me with a powerful sense of crying and I just teared up again.)
Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
I felt like there was no time. Time didn't exist.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I have never before seen something, a scene before me bathed in a glowing pastel color green.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I didn't hear anything around me. Silence.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes The female above me. I didn't know her but I knew she was looking over me. (Typing that again, overwhelmed me with emotion and tears. That has never before happened in describing the experience.)
The experience included: Void
The experience included: Darkness
The experience included: Light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? Uncertain Just the green light in the ambulance.
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Cared for.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What was your religion prior to your experience? Liberal Unitarian
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No
What is your religion now? Liberal
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No
The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Uncertain I lost time. I remember right before it happened I knew exactly what happened. The rest is my experience which seems to only having a knowing of what happened, not a memory.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I had a powerful emotional intelligence. Odd, frequent, and sometimes too weird to be true 'coincidences' or synchronicity happens to me all the time. I see the numbers of my birth date 8 24 everywhere. I seem to meet many people almost by accident, who know about and research paranormal phenomenon. I have a feeling of being very connected to people here and on the other side.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The darkness and the female hovering above me.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Just this month I came to terms with having had an NDE. People were supportive.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Uncertain When I was a little girl, I'd stand in front of the mirror and wonder if 'this', meaning life had all happened before and also if I was really actually getting younger instead of older.
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was probably not real I didn't consider it as a possibility and didn't really think about any of it very much. I was focused on healing and when I could get back to horses even though I was afraid of falling off again.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes LSD.