This was the time when I was experiencing utter depression and anxiety because of my marital relationship. Nothing was working out. On 06-01-1998, on the recommendation of one my friends, I went to attend Reiki Level 1 session. Reiki is an alternative method of healing. I felt better but things appeared to be the same. The next day, it was 7th January afternoon when the entire world changed for me.
I was standing in my home kitchen when something unusual happened. I went into a deep state of trance. My body became weigtless. I rushed out of kitchen and sat down on sofa in my living room. I felt as if the entire universe was contained within me. Everything, every being, every soul, just became me. I am God. All my ill feelings towards my husband just disappeared. I was filled with unconditional love and a state of absolute joy. Too difficult to be described in words. The same night I felt as if I was passing through a tunnel. The next few days there was a weird feeling of my soul being out of my body. I was losing sensation of my body. I was fearless and felt extreme Joy.
It was as if I am witnessing people so engrossed in this illusory drama, even death as an illusion. I felt to be the major illusion because nothing dies or goes back. We all are just One. I just felt like hugging everybody so that I can tell them that we all are one. We are just mirror reflections of each other, something like optical illusion. I stayed in this extreme, supreme consciousness until January 1, 1998. On January 15th I remember requesting some divine intervention. My kids were too small then and I was losing interest in life, finding it difficult to do mundane chores. In the afternoon I dosed off to sleep. I woke up with the sensation of an astral being sitting beside me. He was a male figure. He said He has come because I requested help. He put his hand at the back of my neck and I again dosed off back to sleep. After an hour or so when I got up, I felt as if I am back into my body.
This experience was then followed by countless experiences. With each passing experience my clarity towards my own existence became clearer and clearer. The same year on 27 July, suddenly in the middle of night my room got filled with something foggy and colorful at the same time. I saw Chinese Goddess Kwanyin. My son who was suffering with very high fever suddenly improved. Even he witnessed Kwanyin and he still remembers this experience quite vividly. Later, I started seeing some vibrant rainbow-colored geometrical shapes. This I came to know only last year in September that all these years I had been perceiving Flower of Life. Since my first experience, I have been having tremendous experiences. Now I am working on my book on these and most importantly the knowledge that was being unfolded to me.
Date NDE Occurred: First experience on 07-01-1998; Followed by numerous experiences since then.
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? No. Huge depression and anxiety. Other Depression and emotionally wrecked
How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? No A
I lost awareness of my body
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal. During my experience of being in highest level of consciousness, I experienced just pure joyful fearless state. Very difficult to explain in any language. I experienced I am God, and so is everybody. It's only that they forgot. We all are one. There is nothing that exists that is not God.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? During my entire experience, I was experiencing heightened awareness of cosmic unity.
Were your thoughts speeded up? No
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning.
During such experiences, linear apprehension of time disappears. It is as if time stops or everything happens simultaneously. Difficult to be described in words. Every time when I enter the so called mystical zone, time loses its significance.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? More vivid than usual
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Vision was vivid but what I was experiencing through my senses, I don't remember. I was just getting aware of some higher knowledge that was totally away from this domain of senses.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. My answer here is the same as for vision.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, but the facts have not been checked out
The experience included: Tunnel
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes Already discussed though in my first experience, I got a bit scared.
In later experiences, I have been experiencing as if I enter some void that is filled with immense light. It is a highly illuminated zone. At this point I have experienced the presence of my deceased ancestors and spiritual guides.
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes In 2016 on 6 September I was initiated into Sri Vidya Sadhana (healing technique) by Shivanand Baba. This happened in the middle of night when I was partially wake at my home place.
The experience included: Void
The experience included: Unearthly light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes I cannot describe. I felt and still have such experiences that I am travelling through light. Recently experienced some terrific light explosions in my brain. It is as if hundreds suns have emerged. This is the time when I was not sleeping not fully awake.
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm. Void surrounded by light and huge gush of energy.
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Extreme Joy, fearlessness and filled up with unconditional love.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
The experience included: Special knowledge or purpose
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe. I have understood or rather I know now that everything is just One. Only I exist because there is nothing in the world that is not me. I am the creater, I am the manifester and I am the one who is experiencing everything. No other exists. I feel so empowered, so absolute and complete in my existence. I am unconditional love in my true essence.
The experience included: Life review
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control I have started becoming aware of my previous births.
The experience included: Awareness of the future
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future There is no future. Future is the result of individual and collective consciousness. We are magnificent creaters.
Did you come to a border or point of no return? No
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Greatly important to me
What was your religion prior to your experience? Hindu. I had been a strong devotee of Lord Shiva since my childhood.
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes We all are amazing spiritual beings. And just complete in our own selves. No external aid is required. Rituals and religious beliefs are a part of our belief systems. If not understood properly, these may even hinder our growth/ realization towards our own essence. Any religious or spiritual practice can be used as a tool towards inner awakening and not to tie one more cord around ourselves.Just be what we are and stop any judgement/ analysis.
What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Greatly important to me
What is your religion now? Other or several faiths Today I just believe in Oneness of humanity. We all are magnificent spiritual beings. All rituals and religions are just a part of belief system.
Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience Beliefs like there is some God existing outside or inside me is totally inconsistent now. We are just divine. Any religion, any class, any caste, any distinction, any do's or don'ts are totally insignificant. Even patriotism is some another kind of ism.We all are one in consciousness. Our egoes have created these boundaries. Now we have armies to protect ourselves from ourselves. I find everything of this rather ridiculous now after my experience. There is just one force or source that is sustaining us and that is love.
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes Life is beyond rituals (being of Hindu origin and background I had initiated lots of them in my life prior to my experience). We are just here to experience love. Everything else is insignificant. Love and gratitude are the core ingredients of our essence.
The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin On 15-01-1998, was approached by a mystical being as mentioned above. After few months the same year I heard some mystical chanting going on. The same year I again suffered some huge mental distress, I was pacified by some mystical voice that soon this will end. 'You are being chosen for a higher purpose ' Last year in 2016 on September 06,I saw Avdoot Shivanand Baba sitting next to me in the middle of the night. I was not dreaming. I felt as if I am being initiated into some higher frequency. Since then my life is not the same. I just experience huge gush of energies flowing from my body. My intuitive faculties have awakened. I just experience immense joy. I am awakened to my highest purpose. Any fear or anxiety has just disappeared.
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? Yes I saw Shiva in 1998 during my first experience. The same year on July 27, I saw Chinese Goddess Kwanyin. This experience was also shared with my son who was at that time suffering from very high fever and was almost two years old.
Since 1998, I have been aware of the presence of these higher Beings. The experience s are so many that I cannot discuss here in detail.
During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? Yes I experienced that there has not been a single moment when I was not there. I as pure consciousness multiplied because I wanted to experience love/ relationships. So I must have existed in numerous forms which I don't remember now. But this existence in so many and different forms is a puedo entity. In reality there is absolute non dualism. In one of so called my previous births I had been a lesser known Sufi saint. Mostly I processed male bodies and mostly led an ascetic life. In this birth I chose a female body because I wanted to experience motherhood. All this knowledge flashed to me just effortlessly and simultaneously.
During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes Already described. Everything is one and mystical but beyond sense apprehension. Only when one realizes that one understands but cannot describe in words.
Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? God probably exists
During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes I am God and so is you and anything or any being. I am the creater. I am the creation. I am the enjoyer.I am you and all.No second exists.The joke is that we just forgot. Now I am on my journey from myself to myself and with myself.
Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God definitely exists
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes I know that I am awakened. I now want others to come out of this so called illusory unhappiness, sickness, suffering and scarcity. I call suffering illusory because we have only created this out of ignorance. I now want to experience each and every moment of this so called magnificent Royal life; Total bliss. No fear even of death now. Death according to my experience is just another illusion. Now my existing in this body has a well defined purpose.
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are meaningful and significant
During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes We all are absolutely complete in our own selves. We are here to just experience. So we should not be judgemental about others. We are just a part of a huge drama that is going on. But we are not at the mercy of some supernatural powers. Rather we are magnificent creaters. We create whatever we want to experience.
Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? An afterlife definitely exists
Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists Yes I'being'or what we say is pure consciousness is pervading everywhere. Space, time and dimensions are all virtual entities.There has not been a moment when I was, is or will not be there. Pure consciousness is a continuum entity. In fact there is nothing that is not me/I. Plurality is only an illusion. There is no one existing who is not me( pure consciousness). Death is again an illusion. Only Now exists.I am living in a world of optical illusion created by me and me alone. Awakening makes you smile or laugh because you had been desiring something that you already are.
Did you fear death prior to your experience? I greatly feared death
Do you fear death after your experience? I do not fear death
Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Moderately fearful in living my earthly life
Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are meaningful and significant
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are meaningful and significant
Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No
During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Yes There is no challenge or so called difficulties on our planet. We are awesome creaters but we forgot about this hidden treasure. Ignorance has us caused suffering through our free will.
Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others
During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes Only unconditional LOVE exists in Reality. Everything else is an illusion.
Were you compassionate after your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others
What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life I am full of joy and confidence. My external circumstances have absolutely changed. I cannot describe in words further.
I am just filled up with unconditional love and absolute gratitude towards entire creation. Words like enemies/competitors have disappeared from my vocabulary. I just love everybody. Whatever I desire now gets manifested just miraculously. I just want to hug everyone. I have to be careful now while being with others because they may find this behavior of mine rather weird.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I am receiving unconditional love from everyone and everywhere. Amazing people are now emerging in my environment. Prior to my experience I was in huge depression because of my so called bad relationship with my husband. I got married at the tender age of 18 with the person of my choice who was 13 years older than me. Without the consent of my parents and then we both landed in a very disharmonious relationship with each other though for no particular reason. After my experience, things just changed drastically. Now we highly respect and love each other.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes Already discussed above. I experienced myself being One with this entire creation. My own body I felt to be just another illusion. My fear, anxiety just seemed so irrelevant to me that I felt like laughing at my own self. Every fear or sadness just disappeared. Death seemed to me the greatest illusion. Everything seemed so perfect, so lovable.
How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of th How can one compare Reality to illusion. My experience showed me what I/ everyone is. This is beyond remembrance or any memory whatsoever. The experience has not so called ended. I stay in this now.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes My intuitive healing abilities have expanded. I don't visit doctors now. I rarely fall sick. People approach me for healings.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? I am the universe. I saw something that I came to know much later that it is called Flower of Life. An undescribable geometrical shape which was illuminating rainbow lights.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Not with many people. Presently I am writing my own book on this. My spiritual group friends only know about this. My kids have been passive participants in my spiritual experiences.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real I cannot explain this. I just know that I know.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real First experience in January 1998 was followed by countless amazing experiences...Till date. Probably for me to realize that this is taking place for some higher purpose.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes Had and still having amazing experiences. Journey is on. I am the journey and destination too.
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I can just say that this is something to be realized that is beyond language.
Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? Questionnaire is good. I have communicated my experience like this for the first time. But for me I can write almost endlessly as this first experience was just an initiator for many next experiences that followed and just changed everything in my life. Thanks for reading my experience patiently.