I have never been the same since NDE when I saw my body in the street. My life all played back to me like on a video. I saw my body disappearing as I was moving, feeling like I was floating up. I felt total peace, calm. Didn't know I was in an accident but I do remember seeing me lying in the street. As I disappeared into a light as I rose. My life before the accident feels like someone told me a story and I recall a little of it but it don't feel like it's me. But what I live and feel now. I can play back in my head almost like it all was yesterday. I know I had a head injury. But I'm far from retarded. I have a little bit of all that has happened but not a lot. Generally, I will share with you about who I was at time of accident. You're welcome to ask me anything. I would really like to find answers to me and how my life has been since the NDE.
June 1971 I went to get my car to go to graduation of veterinary technician school. My car wasn't there. So, I decided to ride my bicycle instead. A city bus hit my bicycle, my bike fell on top of a curb, and I fell under the bus. So I was told anyhow. I have no recollection of the accident at all or my initial two week stay in an acute hospital ward. I had some broken bones and head injury. Part of the back wheel got a little of me.
My stay in the hospital somewhere in my head from what I was told my family needed to be with me 24/7 being they, 'as in staff at the hospital', couldn't keep an eye on me. I worked in a convalescent at night during the time I was in my accident. I seemed to replace all my patient's minds in me. I took on their personalities; guess mine was lost at the time. So, I would keep asking for chocolate candy bars and kept forgetting I asked and received. The same as one of my patients at the hospital I worked in. Pulled my IVs out. Was always running through the parking lot bare at the bottom like one of my patients did. And several other things I can't really recall all that my family had told me. But I did take on their personality and not mine.
After my family having to stay there with me on a 24/7 watch. They had me released to my mother's home. It took a few months for me to comprehend that a bus had run me over. I will never forget the day. I heard my mother screaming at my sister about something. I screamed. They came in the room and told me that I was hit by a bus and about my behavior in hospital. I then moved out of my mother's home shortly after. I didn't feel I belonged there. Not any bond and so distant as for them being my family.
I was saying all this spiritual stuff that was so deep and I had no control over the words that were spoken. I also was very psychic. I was able to know when something was going to happen. It scared me.
I was a Florence Nightingale type of person before my accident and goody-two-shoes. I always wanted Jesus to be proud and to be one of God's chosen. When I moved out of my mother's home. I took a job in a massage parlor. I worked there learning the world and behaviors. I was like an adult in a child's body. People scared me. Behaviors scared me. I didn't know who I was morally or at all really. It was like a new soul having to take in life and seeing a scary world.
Several months went by and more and more I was getting flashing of me, who I was, my morals. It was like I was two different people. One in a massage parlor who only knew that life and one coming out saying you don't belong here, it's not you. I was remembering more and more of whom I was. My mind was in conflict and I then started to have black outs. I went to a neurological doctor told him about me feeling two different people emerge and feel like I'm being told what to do like I was being led around. It was just something hard to explain to him, when I didn't understand it myself. He put me into a mental hospital. That was very scary to me. They kept me loaded up with drugs. Guess not dealing with a head injury but a nut case. See I also told them I died and came back from the accident. Guess in 1971 those doctors didn't want to believe that so they it thought best to shove medications down my throat.
To make a very long story short. All I can remember from the accident was me lying in the street seeing my body there and my soul lifting up like I was floating up in a light. My body got little when I no longer could see it as I went up - I felt so at peace I remember.
I talk about LOVE how important it is. And that is the biggest word to know and understand and give. But at the same time, I see people really don't know how to. I see they are into their own thoughts or world as much as anyone else. But LOVE, real LOVE is deep. To really be able to GIVE, to hear to know and to feel good knowing you care. To LOVE everyone even if they are different from you. Not saying you have to like them. It's just I see people are afraid of that kind of bond. I know there are few that do know how. But that's really needing to be open minded to feel someone else's heart and let it touch yours. We all have our own minds and thoughts. Part of Loving someone is realizing their thoughts are part of who they are, and not assume they should think like you, but understand them.
Many years have gone by. I raised two girls. Hard job, but no matter how hard it was I loved them and still from this day I want them happy. To find peace within themselves. And to understand the needs of others and not just themselves. To me, that is a gift from GOD.
But after all these years, I love my family - as in brothers and sisters mother and dad. But I still don't feel a bond or closeness as to them being family. I can't even remember my youngest brother or even where he slept. And the rest of my family. Just small parts. I will always feel a big part of me got lost.
Still from this day. I hurt when I see people who is all about them and not others. I feel I'm to be there, to help. I feel I'm the one who knows what to say to make a person feel better. I feel I can take care of others. But I don't trust anyone taking care of me. I've been abused medically. And not medically just from trying to understand the world on my own. I need health care. And I cry because I don't trust even doctors anymore. They had given me a very traumatic experience that I keep reliving and cry. I guess I now have posttraumatic stress disorder. And I don't have a clue how to get rid of it when I can't even trust a doctor no more.
I don't want to go into the story about that now. It hurts too much. But I do understand the weakness of man. But when it comes to the medical profession. When an oath is taken. I can't understand medical abuse.
There is so much to me, and I know it's like I have a third-eye or the sixth-sense. And I really need to find someone who I can relate to with a similar experience.
Date NDE Occurred: 1971
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Uncertain AccidentDirect head injury 'I fell from a bicycle to under a bus; I have no recall what so ever of an accident. But I do remember clearly my body in the street and I watched, as it got smaller and smaller until it disappeared as I floated up feeling light like on a cloud. It was pe 'Life threatening event, but not clinical death' 'Don't remember the accident other than being told. But I remember seeing my body in the street. I was floating, like on a cloud, just floating up seeing my body getting smaller and smaller until I couldn't see it no longer. It felt so peaceful. Funny, I didn't know I had an accident at the time. Only can recall the NDE.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Wonderful
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Uncertain I clearly left my body and existed outside it
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? Less consciousness and alertness than normal I really don't know how to answer that, but all explained in letter.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? NONE.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Did your vision differ in any way from normal? Like I said, I recall nothing but seeing my body in the street as my life played back to me, all of it in seconds. Then I was gone up in the light, I floated away.
Did your hearing differ in any way from normal? No recall didn't hear anything. Only saw.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Uncertain I wish I could remember. I know I feel something happened. But it's blocked out. It's like I'm not to know or remember. But I do know things changed lots about me since that.
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Uncertain I know I did but I don't know. After the effect, I've been told I need to write a book. Not by people but by whoever it was that choose for me to come back. And all that spiritual talking that was coming out of my mouth so deep I didn't know where or why I was saying them. And a voice in my head but I believe it to be from upstairs told me to bring this man back. I had an experience in a Ralph's Market. An old man near Christmas was on the floor and blue. A store clerk was yelling there is a dead man on isle whatever it was, can't recall. It was long ago. She said loudly, is there a doctor in the store. I walked over to the body of the man. I got down on my knees. A voice told me to take his right hand in my left hand, and place my right hand on his forehead. And to repeat some words to him over and over. I did just that. I said,' You can't leave us now. Your family needs you. Come back to us.' I repeated these words over and over in the same tone of voice, holding his hand and having my other hand on his forehead. After several times saying that he suddenly started getting color and his body got warm. He sat up, just as he sat up paramedics came. I stood up, I started shaking very badly. And heard voices saying to me, 'How did you do that?' I was totally freaked. Didn't say a word to no one in store. Left the store and went home. From this day, I wonder if that old man remembered me. But I have different things happen out of the ordinary. That is only one, there are more.
The experience included: Light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? Uncertain Hard to say, I felt me floating up, feeling light, at peace, very calm, might have been a dim light, but in its own space, that lifted me.
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm I know I did. but I cant tell you that I did.
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Only know there was no fear, I was going up, felt at peace, and saw my whole life play back to me.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe
The experience included: Life review
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control I did at the time of the accident have my whole life pass in front of me, like playback of it all. But due to my head injury or for other reasons unknown, I don't know my childhood but briefly. I can't feel emotion for it. It's like I was briefly filled in about my life before the time. I don't have much emotion or feelings from it. No bonding from it.
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future Pretty right on to a point that it scared me.
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What was your religion prior to your experience? Liberal I was born Jewish. But always believed in Jesus as a little girl up until time of my NDE and wasn't religious. But we were a temple going family when I was a young girl
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No
What is your religion now? Liberal I don't really believe in anyone religion. But I do believe in GOD. And still believe in Jesus. I know something happened when I left. After the fact, I was speaking very spiritual things. I had no control over saying them. They were so deep. From this day, I wish all that was recorded. They just seemed to come out of my mouth and I would wonder what is making me say all this.
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes Think I sort of said in other notes. But yes, I know I'm here for a reason. Even know what I'm told to do. Write a book. And I know my book is to be a breakthrough for a change somehow.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I know my family that I grew up with is my family, but I don't feel like I know them as family or have a bond to them like I should.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? No It wasn't, but I from this day question myself. What happened that I can't let myself remember after I left. Why were all these spiritual words coming from my mouth? It was like I was saying things I had no clue what was making me say them. I still wonder now what I was saying.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes Have explained above.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? I can't really say meaningful. But I will never forget seeing me in the street. Never forget my life playing back to me from day one seems like whole life in a short time and will never forget the feeling of my body and soul being separated. But there was no fear. It was just accepted. My soul was rising.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I don't talk about it lots because I don't believe people can relate to it. When I found this site this evening this was the first time I ever tried to see if there was something out there because I am looking for answers myself. I would like to find a group of people who are totally different due to NDE I believe they would be the only people who really can understand and relate.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real. Hard to say I view it as real, it was real. It was something I will never forget. I saw me looking down at my body. It was real. It happened so fast, guess I can with a pun intended, 'I don't know what hit me'.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real. Many years have passed, but that day I can never forget. Only thing I can remember about that day.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes But I blamed it on the medications. But I remember having people from upstairs sitting by my bed even if it was to me seeming real. I had to tell myself it's the medications. I never talked about this my NDE to the doctors. It was like, I had an accident. I saw my body in the street. Oh, you want me talk about my dad, my mom, my sister, my brother. Guess what should of been talked about in that department wasn't. It was I guess out of the question. It's not the normal.
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? Only that my life story would make a good book, a good teaching. A tear jerker and much, much more. So much to my life after. It's just the matter of doing it without tears flowing. I know one thing that was very hard for me in this new world, meaning (a child in an adult body) that is what it was like I had to learn on my own. My doctor always told me the world isn't perfect. I have a hard time learning that all at once. But I do handle most of it pretty good realizing that yes the world isn't perfect. But I do have it bad when it comes to the medical profession.
Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? Not at this time, but if anything I have told you makes you come up with any questions please feel free. I want you to help me as much as I want to help you.