At the first time, I was lying down on my bed ready to sleep when I felt an intense pain which seemed located in the heart (chest). Then I started lifting up towards the left corner of the room in front of my bed. A non-dazzling light was surrounding me, more intense at the upper angle. I was seeing only the angle of that color, not looking at the back or any other place in the room. I was feeling very good, peaceful, safe, relieved from I don't know what. And this wellbeing felt obvious as if I already knew this state and that it was good to experience it again. The movement of my body seemed slow and I was enjoying this wellbeing. I didn't see any being but I didn't feel alone though there was no particular presence. At one point, I understood that I was leaving and wouldn't come back. I wasn't sad or anxious; I thought it was normal. But suddenly I clearly heard my mother's voice who was in her bed with my father; even though they were in the room beside, I could hear them as if they had been close to me - I don't usually hear them from my bedroom. Soon images of my mother started crossing my mind and heart, my love for her strongly felt as well as her tenderness and love for me. Then I woke up in a sweat and sat in my bed, not hearing the voices anymore. While falling asleep again I immediately thought I shouldn't talk about this experience and that it was probably a dream.
At the second time, I was twenty-one and it was during weekend party; I hadn't eaten and slept much. I fainted in front of friends (six or seven people) while I was getting ready to leave for my parents'. I remember having understood immediately where I was, what was happening and where I was going. This time, I was ready for the departure AND HAPPY. I was propelled at high speed in a kind of tunnel made of substantial light. Like on the first time, the feeling and the light were the same. But this time, while travelling in the tunnel, the feelings of peace and wellbeing were mixed with sadness about the fact that it is very difficult to live in that state on earth, in our societies. Though many people talk about and run after it, and I knew how simple it is and that we are here to achieve and share it - it felt like a stupid mess. So this time, still surrounded with peace and wellbeing, I was determined not to come back. My journey was accompanied with diffuse music where I was. I was hearing only this music, not the tears and screams of my friends.
During this journey, I wasn't feeling any presence but rather energies creating a beneficial energy. Suddenly the voice of a friend came from far and became clearer and clearer saying, 'SΘbastien, stay with us, SΘbastien, come back!' At the beginning, I didn't want to because I was feeling very good and I also knew that the return meant returning to the surrounding sadness and hardship. But this voice, those words, brought images of my mother, of my father, images of all the moments of peace and love spent with my friends, girlfriend, family, teachers or even people met briefly. The feelings related to those images were close, even identical, to the state I was in. So, the voice became louder, persistent and a desire not to abandon those people and to accomplish something became very intense. Then I was disagreeably dragged back in the tunnel the other way round at a very high speed. Since I was lying down, I lifted my chest up screaming and, opening my eyes, I fainted again. A friend crouched down by my side was holding my hand while talking to me, another was holding my head, another slapped me in the face, a women was crying and all the others were voiceless.
Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words? Yes, it's a mix of acute sensorial experiences with strong feelings; the intellect and the emotional find a new balance, a oneness. UNFORTUNATELY, words cannot convey this feeling, this balance that doesn't leave an impression of wonder or supernatural, but rather an impression of what naturalness is, and at that moment, it seems so obvious and simple. THAT IS WHAT MAKES IT SO DIFFICULT TO EXPLAIN, and there are not so many notions expressed in words that can describe that state.
Date NDE Occurred: 1989 et 1996
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? No premiere fois allonge dans mon lit pour dormir puis forte douleur au thorax, deuxieme fois evanouis devant des amis . Other premiere et deuxieme fois douleurs au thorax puis evanouissement.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Wonderful
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I clearly left my body and existed outside it
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal Feeling of understanding who we are, what we can realize, what life might be, and it is so clear.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? At the second, right at the beginning
Were your thoughts speeded up? Faster than usual
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning Time as 'one'.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Did your vision differ in any way from normal? It feels strange to see and feel (FEELING TOUCHING) immediately and simultaneously.
Did your hearing differ in any way from normal? At the first time, my mother's voice; at the second time, clear music, then only my friend's voice; and then this feeling that one doesn't have to hear in order to understand a message
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes A tunnel of substantial light which walls consisted in a kind of mist or cloud.
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No But a feeling of not being alone.
The experience included: Light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes A light made of colors and non-dazzling.
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No TOUT SEMBLAIS NATUREL ET NORMAL
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Peaceful and unconditional love; wellbeing, sharing and naturalness.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
The experience included: Special Knowledge
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control At the second time, the joyful moments spent with people encountered during my life.
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future Premonition.
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What was your religion prior to your experience? Conservative/fundamentalist pour la premiere j etais catholique modere atiree par la philosophie du siecle des lumieres (grand horloger) aynt fais mon cathesisme par choix et en retard de 2 ans je l ai recu directement du curre de la paroise seul et j etais egalement enfant de coeur
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Uncertain They have evolved as they already had before.
What is your religion now? Liberal AUJOURD HUI ; J AI UNE CONNAISSANCE UN PLUS APPROFONDI DU CHRISTIANISME ;CATHOLIQUE PROTESTANT ORTHODOXE; UNE APPROCHE EGALEMENT DE LA RELIGION MUSULMANE ET JUDAIQUE AINSI QUE DU SOUFISME. mais pour moi, aujourd hui, les religion ne sont qu une etape de l
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Uncertain They have evolved as they already had before.
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes The origin of hardships and everyone's ability to be happy.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Uncertain My relation to the other, to myself, to my family circle is always in progression; I cannot say what could have happen if I hadn't been through this.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? No
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Uncertain Premonition about different probabilities of evolution regarding our societies and individuals and depending on their choices; but a constant positivism; because the result stays the same, only the possible roads and hardships differ - the greater or lesser pain associated with it.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Only after the second experience, to different people according to their situation and fears. An old lady once came directly to me to talk about it; maybe on a year after the second time. She explained what I had been going through, said that it was normal, that I wasn't alone, that I should accomplish what I had returned for and that this would become clearer after some time. I never saw her again; I was a real estate agent at that time.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Uncertain Not much before the first. Only the memory of a conversation with my father during a lunch; he was talking about this phenomenon which happens to people involved in car accidents.
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was probably real. At the first time, like a dream close to be real because I was conditioned by my education; second time; when will be the third?
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real. Experience was unquestionably real.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes Training.
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? It is possible to gain this sensitivity and understanding in ordinary life; I even believe that (à).
Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? I will think about it and I thank you for allowing me to talk about it.