I was no longer in my body, but I initially thought that I was dreaming! I was totally bewildered as to what was happening to me; because I was actually above the earth surrounded by huge clouds moving about me - and I heard the most gloriously beautiful heavenly chorus. I say 'Heavenly', because Nothing I'd ever heard, nor have ever heard since, sounded as wonderful!!!
The voices, which I readily assumed to be angelic, sang tremendously beautiful hymns, which were replete with 'Hallelujahs', and 'Glorias'. I cannot remember any of the other words, but all of a sudden, I found myself singing along with them, as if I'd known these songs and had sung them before!!! I must say that all during this time I could not fathom what was happening to me - until I suddenly realized that I was dead!
Then I became very frightened, I did not want to die! I did not want to leave my babies, nor this life. Despite all the beauty of all I was experiencing I was sorely fearful of death! I cried to God, (I KNEW that he was there), and begged him not to let me die; that I didn't want to leave my children!! (With all this occurring, I strangely did not take much notice that I could breathe again, that ALL my pain was gone, along with that deadly weakness that enveloped me for weeks!)
After my hysterical plea to God - He ANSWERED me! He said (telepathically, for I did not hear Him with my ears): 'Don't be afraid, you will not die, you will live, and you will live to be with your children.' These were His exact words!
Immediately after He uttered those words, I was back in my body, though it felt as if I had awakened from a very deep sleep; and as all those horrible, horrible, symptoms were not with me in the clouds, they were now, no longer with me in my bedroom!!!
Date NDE Occurred: Summer, 1969
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Illness Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function or brain function) I had been hospitalized with a major, debilitating flare-up of Lupus, (SLE), and had been hospitalized for two weeks already. The doctors told me that I would have to stay another three weeks before I could be sent home. I was so very ill and weak, but I couldn't bear not seeing my two toddlers for another day, no less three weeks! The doctors refused to let me go, just for a day, so I begged my husband to take me home. While at home, my conditioned worsened so severely, that the pain in my chest and spine, literally took my breath away. The pain and difficulty breathing intensified so much, that I become increasingly drowsy, and felt extraordinarily sleepy - I Knew that I was losing consciousness and I called to my husband that I was dying and to please call a minister that I had just become acquainted with - then...
How do you consider the content of your experience? Mixed
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I clearly left my body and existed outside it
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal I had always been somewhat of an airhead, never really being willing or even capable of dealing forthrightly with life's issues, but believe me, that moment when I realized where I was, and what was happening, could not have been more clear to me!
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? When, understanding that I was dead, I cried out to God.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Faster than usual
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning I KNEW that I was in another dimension and I had a perception of timelessness.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Did your hearing differ in any way from normal? The voices seemed to be IN me as well as around me, my hearing was NOT auditory, but certainly and acutely heard.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? No
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm Only the clouds; Iwas completely surrounded by clouds, and saw nothing else.
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Confusion, bewilderment, and a profound sense joy (as the angels and I sang together) and then, fear.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? Happiness
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What was your religion prior to your experience? Conservative/fundamentalist
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No
What is your religion now? Moderate
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No
The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? No
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The voice of God, so profoundly loving, unconditionally so, for I felt guilty about so many things - yet He was so very kind, and spoke so endearingly.
The music, of course, so very, very beautiful, I cannot express how much!
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I shared my experience on the very day it occurred, with my husband, and my in-laws who came later on in the day, expecting me to be totally debilitated and bedridden.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real. I knew that the experience was real, though I was still rather sickly, I never had such symptoms again! But for reasons that I cannot yet understand, this experience did not change my life, nor my concept of life for the better. I was, and am religious, and I know that God heals - though I never heard of that kind of healing experience before, nor of an NDE for that matter.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real. I find myself, in these later years, constantly reliving this event, and each time, finding more beauty and significance in it. As a matter of fact, the NDE seems even more real now!
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? It hurts me to no end that this life changing experience, which it was for so many others, did not have that effect on me.