I was age 4 at the moment of my experience. A rainy day without school, my parents knowing that I loved going to the swimming pool, wanted to take us there, my baby brother and me. Everybody was in the children's pool, separated from the big pool. The big diving board and the divers who executed impressive tricks fascinated me. Wanting to have a closer look, I asked my parents if I could go closer to have good look. I told them that I would stay at the edge of the swimming pool. After the agreement of my parents, I went to the edge of the big pool looking at the divers. Finally, the desire to do imitate them became stronger than my reason at this age. I tried a dive from the edge of the big pool. Being a non-swimmer, exhausted, I ended up sinking to the bottom.
Then I remember the long descent to the bottom of this pool. It seemed endless. I saw the surface moving away. Lacking oxygen, I finally stopped struggling, I still looked towards the surface but my eyes finally closed. A few moments later, or maybe some minutes, I had no notion of time passing, a light Being held out his hand. I didn't see his face nor the rest of his body. I was bathed in this light, which is so difficult to describe. I was still at the bottom of the water. This being, it was he who made me leave my body. While we rose above the pool, I looked at my physical body that was going away from me. Then we remained him and me, hovering above the pool. It was like being on a landing.
Above us was a tunnel. This light was still so warm, so joyful, and surrounded me with its Love. Below us, these pools, this swimming pool, was dark, cold, and noisy.
Then I saw my mother running along the side of the pool, looking for me and locating me at the bottom, and then she dove in to get me. I was watching this scene from above, with total indifference, bathing in this Love and this indescribable warmth, while the Being of light still held my hand. Out of the water, I saw my mother yelling, crying, asking the lifeguard for help. He came quickly to perform resuscitation. I remember the mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. I remember the cardiac massage; the two were alternated several times. I remember my helpless mother.
Then the Being of light let go of my hand. I watched him leaving through the tunnel, joining the light that became more and more intense according to his progress. This light I saw it as warm, full of joy, relief, happiness, and Love. I felt like going through this tunnel, to join the light being. Down there, the real world, I saw it as cold, noisy, dark, and filled with pain.
With my mother still crying and the lifeguard who seemed to hurt me, even if I had no sensation at all. This was the most painful moment of my experience. The Being of light did not give me a choice to either go towards this light or return to the cold and the pain. I felt rejected. I was told in a non-verbal language, just by a kind of thought that he transmitted to me, that it was not yet my time and that I was still needed on Earth. Then I looked at the Being of light as he and the light disappeared slowly. The warmth left me and I returned to the cold, the real world while finally re-opening my eyes.
Date NDE Occurred: 1994
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Drowning. CPR given. Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function or brain function)
At the moment of my experience I was drowning in the big pool of a swimming pool. While being out of body, I saw my mother diving to get me out; then came the lifeguard to revive me.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I remember hearing my mother yelling for help, crying, screaming in pain. I remember having heard the lifeguard arriving and trying to reassure my mother. These elements, I have been able to verify them afterwards, with my mother. She never spoke to me about what happened that day at the swimming pool. She felt so shameful (she felt very guilty) that she 'hid' my drowning from me, thinking that I was too young to remember. Several years later, as I regularly relived my NDE, I decided to talk to my mother about it. Without going into details, I just asked her if, when I was little, I wasn't drowning, in this famous swimming pool where we went quite often, and if the lifeguard was this blond guy with the pudding basin haircut. If it wasn't her, and I knew that she had a strong fear to put her head under water, that fished me out from the bottom of the big pool. When I recounted her all the unwinding of the scene, all my memories, she started crying and confirmed everything.
I clearly left my body and existed outside it
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal My impression at this moment was that, even if I couldn't feel any physical sensation in my body (pain, weight of a body) I felt all the more the emotions, especially those of my mother; as well as other sensations. I remember that the warmth of this light made a deep impression on me and that the cold of the real world shocked me. But I also have the impression, not to be clear enough in my explanations, as it is quite difficult to describe.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? I was completely lucid at the moment when I found myself in the air with the being of light, watching the scene of my reanimation and when I finally, painfully, had to return to my body.
Were your thoughts speeded up? No
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
I saw the scene of my resuscitation. I saw that the time continued that everything was agitated. But I had no notion of time.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Before the experience, my field of vision was restricted, as with every human. While during the experience, I had the impression to see everywhere that my field of vision was at 360░. I saw the tunnel, the light above me and at the same time seeing what was happening below me, in the real and icy world.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Before the experience I heard like every human being does. I heard screaming, howling, messing around, laughing. During the experience, I heard what happened in the real world, while also having the impression, at being like in another room. The noise was less clear. I heard without hearing. At the same time, I clearly heard my mother yelling and crying. Again, this is difficult to describe.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No
The experience included: Tunnel
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Uncertain I went a short way with the being of light, before joining the kind of landing, where by I could see the whole scene of my reanimation. But the tunnel, the real one, I wanted to go through. I wanted to enter it, but the being of light denied me access. Difficult to describe.
Did you see any beings in your experience? No
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No I was alone with the being of light. Below us, I just saw my mother, the lifeguard and the swimmers in the pool. But all those people didn't see us.
The experience included: Unearthly light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? An unusually bright light
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes A warm light, radiating, bright, filled with joy, happiness, serenity and infinite Love. Difficult to describe.
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm I was clearly elsewhere, yes. Nobody could see us, since we were floating together with a being of light above it all. We were surrounded by this warm and intense light, filled with Love: this indescribable light.
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Indifference and at the same time, joy, a Love, a serenity, wrapped in my light. An immense pain, a very disagreeable sensation of icy cold when I returned into my body. Everything being very difficult to describe.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No
Did scenes from your past come back to you? No
Did scenes from the future come to you? No
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will I wanted to go through this tunnel and join the light. Light that surrounded me already that became more and more intense along the tunnel and at its end. It was the being of light that didn't give me the authorization to access it, while making me understand that it was not yet my time and that there were still things I had to accomplish on Earth.
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Not important to me
What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Catholic Au moment de l'expérience, j'étais chrétienne catholique baptisée mais non croyante et non pratiquante.
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I think that a kind of God is existing. Of course I'm not certain, but I'm wondering, however, who this being of light was and what function it had.
What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Moderately important to me
What is your religion now? Christian- Catholic
Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience Je pensais que la mort était douloureuse. Ce n'est pas le cas.
Je pensais rencontrer Dieu, voir le portail du paradis, des anges... ce n'a pas été le cas.
Je ne pensais pas pouvoir voir mon corps physique et la terre, la vie après la mort et ça a été le cas.
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes Everything is different. I grant more importance to love and to people than to myself or to material objects. I'm more into the human and in sharing. My vision of death has changed; I don't fear death anymore. Now I know that there is something else afterwards.
The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin I met a being of light, He held out his hand, He accompanied myself all the way through my experience but denied me the access to the tunnel, and finally brought me back into my body.
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No
Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No
During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No
During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Uncertain Je pense qu'il existe une autre dimension, une autre unité oui. Car sinon, qui ou quoi serait ce fameux être de lumière que j'ai pu rencontrer?
Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? God probably does not exist
During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? No
Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? I am uncertain if God exists
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes I have the impression to know a little bit more than other human beings, knowing how it is to die, and to know what comes afterwards. But at the same time, I have the tendency to hide this knowledge, not to speak about it.
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Unknown
During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No
Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? An afterlife does not exist
Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife probably exists Uncertain L'expérience en soit montre que j'ai pu ressentir des choses, rencontrer un être de lumière, sortir de mon corps physique. Mais n'ayant pas franchis clairement ce fameux tunnel, et n'ayant été que sur une espèce de palier entre le monde terrestre et la lu
Did you fear death prior to your experience? I greatly feared death
Do you fear death after your experience? I do not fear death
Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life
Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Greatly fearful in living my earthly life
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Unknown
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are meaningful and significant
Did you gain information about how to live our lives? Uncertain Ce qui pourrait être interessant, c'est que je n'ai pas vécu ma mort comme un évenement douloureux ou tragique bien au contraire. Car finalement, je voulais franchir ce tunnel. Je voulais définitivement mourir, pas revenir à la vie qui me semblait alors être bien plus douloureuse et difficile.
During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Uncertain L'être de lumière m'a refusé l'accès au tunnel en me précisant que j'avais quelque chose à accomplir sur terre avant. Il ne m'a en revanche pas précisé quoi.
Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Unknown
During your experience, did you gain information about love? Uncertain L'être de lumière, qui voyait que je voulais franchir ce tunnel pour rejoindre la lumière, m'a fait me concentrer sur la douleur de ma mère. En me faisant comprendre aussi que ma mère m'aimait et qu'elle avait besoin de moi.
Et cette lumière, m'a égaleme
Were you compassionate after your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others
What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life I look at life differently. I think more of others than myself. Every event of my life I live with philosophy. From day to day. I'm not scared of death. It will arrive when my time has come. Even if sometimes (without being suicidal) I long to see this light and this warmth again, this parallel place where I felt so good. Especially when I notice that life here frightens me. I feel out of phase. I don't understand why so much stress. So much selfishness, so much need for money and pursuit of profit. The terrestrial world frightens me, and I do feel out of place here. Large changes in my life.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes Yes I'm more open to others and to differences.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes If this experience marked me so strongly, this is also because it was filled with totally unknown and indescribable sensations. This light, so warm, so joyful, so filled with happiness and serenity, cannot be compared to any other light. The way to communicate with the being of light is also not comparable to any kind of known communication. The sensation of floating above one's own body, to have incredibly developed senses, while at the same time not feeling anything, no physical body, cannot be compared to any other known sensation. The words that I was using for my description approximate what I could feel at that moment. But I am sure, re-reading it, that my experience was all the while clearly different. The words to fully describe what I have been experiencing do not exist.
How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience mon expérience est le seul souvenir, clair, que j'ai de cette période là. Tout ce qui c'est passé ce jour là, j'ai pu le décrire très précisément à ma mère plusieurs années après, et qui a pu me confirmer le tout.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? I thought that dying was painful. This is not the case. I thought I would meet God, see Heaven's gate, angels, which was not the case. I didn't think I'd be able to see my physical body and the Earth, the life after death, but this was the case. The experience itself shows that I could still sense things, meet a being of light, being able to get out of my body. But not having crossed the famous tunnel, and just having been on a level between the terrestrial world and the light, I cannot assert that life after death exists behind this tunnel, or only up to this level. My physical body and the Earth, the life after death, but this was the case.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Several years later, I talked to my mother first. But this was not easy. What did me good on the other hand was that she could confirm what I told. The emotion at this moment was of a remarkable intensity, given that she was sure that I wasn't aware of my drowning anymore (nobody ever talked about it to me), when and how this happened, who got me out, revived me.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was probably not real I thought that it was completely irrational. Like a dream, more or less.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real I'm sure of the experience today, at seeing the reaction of my mother in front of the description, that I made her of this famous day, when I was only 4 years, and nobody afterwards had ever told me about what happened that day. I'm also sure because, having shared it with other experiencers, our sensations were the same.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? It was a deeply moving and wonderful experience. The best memory of my life. I think that there is another dimension, yes another unity. Because if not, who or what was this famous being of light, that I met? The being of light denied me the access to the tunnel, stating that I still had to accomplish something on Earth. On the other hand, He didn't clarify what it was. The being of light, seeing that I wanted to cross the tunnel to go towards the light, made me concentrate on my mother's pain. Also making me understand that my mother loved me and needed me. This light was also teaching me, that there is a much stronger, and much more intense and more indescribable Love, than on Earth. What could be interesting is that I didn't live my death as a painful or tragic event, on the contrary. As finally, I wanted to cross the tunnel. I wanted to definitely die and not come back to life that appeared as being much more painful and difficult to me. My experience remains the only clear memory of this time period. Everything happening that day, I could describe it clearly to my mother several years later, and she confirmed every bit.
Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? Very complete questionnaire!