I am in the emergency room lying on the examining table when the nurse over my shoulder said, 'We lost him. He's gone.' I remember 'seeing' the doctor jump on the table, double up his fist and strike me in the chest. I felt no pain. The nurse over my shoulder spoke again and said, 'You hit him too hard, you broke his sternum.'
At that point, I heard a voice in my head say, 'Let go and everything will be fine.' I let go and trusted that voice.
The next thing I remember was being in x-ray and the staff trying to prop me up to take a picture of my chest. The next thing is they are taking me on the gurney from x-ray to the intensive care unit. The lights on the ceiling are flashing as we passed under them. Then I heard the same nurse over my shoulder say, 'We've lost him again.'
Once in the intensive care unit, I left my body and went into the corner of the unit. I watched as they shocked my chest. 3-2-1 pop! Again 3-2-1 pop.
Then I left the room. No tunnel. For me it was like going to sleep and going right into a dream. I went into this room bathed in gold white light that reminded me of a library. There was this entity (who I believe was my God) sitting at a large table that looked like an architecture table. I was below the table looking up at this entity. He looked down at me and said. 'What are you doing here? When I want you, I will come and get you. Now go back.' Then he stuck out his foot and kicked me in the head. His foot had a sandal on it that looked to be made out of an old tire. The next thing I remember then is looking eye-ball to eye-ball at the doctor.
Date NDE Occurred: 1985
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Being stupid. Anger overdose. Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function or brain function) Overdose.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Mixed
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I clearly left my body and existed outside it
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? Normal consciousness and alertness The thing that I questioned most over the years was if I no longer had a body how could I see or feel anything. I had none of the five senses without the body. I knew I couldn't die because I didn't know what unconditional love was.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? For most of the experience.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Did your hearing differ in any way from normal? None of these questions make any 'sense' to me. I had no body. Thus, I had none of the five sense. I can't tell you how that works, it just does.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes See the experience above.
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes The yellow white light of the room I went to.
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm The Library
What emotions did you feel during the experience? None. Once I had let go there was no emotion.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Relief or calmness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
The experience included: Special Knowledge
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What was your religion prior to your experience? Liberal
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I have walked away from organized religion. I know there is a supreme being and I know I am protected.
What is your religion now? Liberal
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I have walked away from organized religion. I know there is a supreme being and I know I am protected.
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes It's still unfolding every day. I know there is life after life.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? No
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Uncertain The dream world has always brought me insights. The most significant moment in my life has been in the dream world. I have won money in the lottery from dreaming the numbers. My ex-wife gave them to me. True story.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? To have had the experience without having a physically body. To heighten all my sense so every experience is a multi-sensory experience. To learn to be able to recognize unconditional love without a body, i.e. the five senses.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes From the first day. Reactions vary and have changed over time. It's my job to share the experience I had. People take what they will from the experience. All I am to do is to share it with them.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes You can read all you want to about a NDE but until you have actually had one it's like trying to tell another what an ice-cream cone is like when the don't even know what ice-cream is.
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real. From the get go. That sense of knowing. I just knew. The NDE requires no 'faith or belief' on my part. It's a plain and simple a fact. I had watched up until that time four or five people die including my mother. Their experiences of dying were similar, it didn't matter what their beliefs were. Spirit came to them in a form that their conscious minds could accept. Whatever that may have been.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real. As I grow older and experience more it just confirms more and more what I had experienced. I have had a couple more experiences since this event. Just this year in January, I crashed a town car. Totaled it. I hit a patch of ice and the car hydro-planed. When the car went out of control, I heard that same voice. 'Just relax and everything will be just fine.' Well I wound up in the bottom of a ditch looking up at my ass hole and thinking, 'This is your idea of 'fine'?' I opened my eyes and saw no blood. Wiggled my toes and they worked, and then my fingers and they worked. Did a mental inventory and nothing hurt. Then I couldn't get out of the car fast enough. Had to go over the back seat and out the passengers' back door. I did not feel that entity there so I knew I wasn't going to die.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes See above.
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? Not at this time.
Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? Nope.