Experience Description

I decided that my unplanned baby would be too hard to take. I could not tell my parents because they were devout Baptist and would not handle it well. I wanted a church wedding and could not see having one after having a child. So, I went in to abort it. I was breathing heavy so the gas would take affect quickly. I remember the women nurses talking about how they loved the rain. I felt myself going and tried to get their attention. I must have had a seizure then because the nurse said I kicked the light and the doctor. She asked about seizures later. I heard one nurse say, 'My first one today.'

As I drifted, I felt so peaceful and LOVED. I smelled roses before I got there. When I looked around, I saw the rose garden with every different color you could think of. I was in a place that was bright with glowing light. There was love all around me. I heard music and angels singing. A tall man came and asked me if I wanted to go on or back. I think he asked me twice. I said I want to go back. I think I must have been told I would get married and start a family. I might have wanted to stay otherwise. It was so beautiful. I know it was heaven. I was scared to die until then. I will never forget the place of unconditional love. I don't think I saw God or Jesus but I felt they were near.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: 10-11-83

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Too much gas during an abortion. Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function or brain function) I had the lack of oxygen and I could feel myself slipping away.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Wonderful

The experience included: Out of body experience

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal As above.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? Just as I went out. I smelled roses and heard everything around me.

Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning I guess for all I saw it could have lasted thirty minutes but I know I was only out for maybe one minute.

Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. The light was so bright I was almost blinded but the smells were much stronger.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I think I must not have understood the question about going on or coming back at first.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes It was dark at first then I came into the light.

Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes I was in the rose garden and a man I never met before came to me and asked 'Do you want to go on or back?'

The experience included: Light

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes It was such a bright light, even brighter than the sun. It was kind of a mix between the sun and LSD. I saw no shadows or dark places.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm Everything was beautiful there. I think I stood shocked because I never have seen such a place. Nothing ugly anywhere.

The experience included: Strong emotional tone

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Joy and happiness. I was glad this place was real and I could see it.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe

Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control I don't let people influence my life's choices anymore. I just do the right thing.

Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future I must have been told of my future which has come true. I have been married for twenty-five years and have two sons.

The experience included: Boundary

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Uncertain I stopped at the boundary and was given the choice.

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Moderate Christian Baptist

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I try to help all the people I can. I try to love others as I am loved.

What is your religion now? Moderate Christian but searching for answers

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I try to help all the people I can. I try to love others as I am loved.

The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes I have a sense of knowing what happens after death. I know God has a purpose for me. I tell women who want abortions about my experience.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I love life and tell my family more often.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? No

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Uncertain I have feelings of things to come and hear answers when I pray.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? I always wondered if I would go to heaven because I never felt worthy. I know now even after what I have done I will still go.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I noticed it about a year later. My family thinks I am nuts. I think my husband believes me.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real I hear other people talk of their experiences and I see the same in mine. These people die different ways. I had trouble feeling loved until then. Now I feel loved every day.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real I was given the choice right before I was brought back. It was not a dream.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No I know drugs would never let you have this experience only if you die by overdose.

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? Some doctors say this happened for lack of oxygen but I don't think the brain would make up a person to ask you if you want to go back.

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? To describe the surroundings and what they did.