It was time to go into the delivery room. I was distraught with pain as they wheeled me in the room. I noticed the light shining on me from above my gurney. It was the doctor's light. I started hearing a buzzing sound, like loud locusts in the summer months. Then I looked at the ceiling and saw the little black dots there. (Typical in a hospital, the little black dots, the size of a pencil eraser, started to join together.
The buzzing sound got louder and louder, as the dots started to form a black void. I felt a whoosh like water and air rushing over my face and body. That's when the dots just pretty much turned into a tunnel. I was in it, heading at an angle that was to my right and slightly upward. It was dark but it had substance, not like just a void anymore but more like a tunnel. It was not snug around my body. I could see gray and dark matter around me. I was heading through the tunnel feet first. Since I was giving birth to my son at that time, I thought to myself, 'Oh this must be what the baby sees.' Then I saw a light, a perfectly round bright light, it was white. I just saw it and thought how perfectly round it was.
Then as if time did not exist at all, I was back on the gurney with doctors rushing around and I didn't know what had happened or what was up? I didn't know if I had had the baby, but I didn't care. I lay there breathing heavy and laughing at everyone rushing around. I knew it DIDN'T MATTER. I knew EVERYTHING WAS FINE. I knew even if my baby was deformed or dead or dying that it was all FINE AND WONDERFUL.
I just lay there with this ALL KNOWING. I knew at that time that everything was all right. Everything was for a reason and I knew this place is just a dream. Earth is just a dream and nothing bad can really happen. I knew we were here to learn from our bad times and our good times. I knew it was LOVE. Love and Caring and to learn and to PASS IT ON TO OTHERS. YET I remember talking to no one. It was just a feeling. A KNOWING feeling. It was probably only a minute or two that I felt so KNOWING. Then I turned 'normal' again and I turned over to see my baby boy.
I didn't care yet about him. I didn't know yet if the baby was a boy or girl because I still knew everything was wonderful no matter what. I could have at that moment, loved a horrible human being. I could have at that moment understood and forgave a person that murdered my child. I could have actually embraced them. Very strange, because I'm not like that now but I do remember that feeling because I knew things. But 'normal' kept taking over me. Soon I asked, 'Is the baby alive? Is the baby okay?' Then, 'Is it a boy or a girl?'
Years went by and I never thought about that much. That feeling I had until I was such a worried mom that I wouldn't let my sons run off and play like all kids should get to. I was too protective. My husband told me to let them be boys, so I knew I had to face my fear of death. I was so afraid they would get hurt or killed that I wouldn't let them be kids. So to face my fears I read about death. I read about NDEs. That's when I found there was a pattern. I had the pattern going on and then I knew that THAT was what had happened to me. I knew I was bleeding too much afterward because I was treated as such.
Date NDE Occurred: September 23rd 1984
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Uncertain Childbirth Illness, trauma or other condition not considered life threatening trauma of giving birth to my son and blood lossThe doctors never told me I was in danger. I know I was losing blood fast from the way the nurses treated me.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Wonderful
Did you feel separated from your body? Uncertain I lost awareness of my body
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal I just knew so much, like someone had explained things to me and I knew it to be true. I was so happy and fearless.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? When I was back out of the tunnel and in the hospital on the gurney.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning I don't understand where my knowledge came but I had it I just KNEW and it would have taken some time to get me to understand such things but I recall no time I spent in that light.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Did your hearing differ in any way from normal? When I first got out of the tunnel and was 'back' everyone seemed 'once removed' as in distant; as in I was watching them in a movie. I thought they were silly for being so worried. I was laughing because they didn't understand it was all 'okay'.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes Oh I was in a tunnel, it was not tight, but it had texture
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Uncertain I just came back knowing things I never knew before but have no memory of seeing anyone or talking to anyone.
The experience included: Void
The experience included: Darkness
The experience included: Light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes Perfectly round and I was going towards it, it was pure white and I felt no choice to go or not to go. I just felt I was along for the ride. Don't remember going 'into' the light. Just remember seeing it. Secretly I feel someone talked to me and showed me things because there is no time over there. And I came back KNOWING but I believe I also had the memory of what happened removed from my mind. Otherwise I think I wouldn't care to live at all.
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm as i stated,,i believe that that happened,,but the memory was removed from my mind
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? While in the tunnel I just thought it was normal and I was seeing what the baby was seeing. But when I saw the light then I was back in the hospital on the gurney. I felt like a billion bucks of information I knew we are ALL OKAY and ALL IS MEANT TO BE. No one will truly be hurt I knew this was our 'learning ground' not real, only the love is real.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
The experience included: Special Knowledge
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control
The experience included: Vision of the future
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future I just knew everything was okay and meant to be and everything is good.
The experience included: Boundary
Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes The tunnel was a different boundary or dimension and so was the light.
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What was your religion prior to your experience? Moderate
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I don't go to church anymore I think I have had some bad times there and I know my relationship with God has nothing to do with churches.
What is your religion now? Moderate
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I don't go to church anymore I think I have had some bad times there and I know my relationship with God has nothing to do with churches.
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes I just knew it all, I knew about love, and I knew how this place is like a dream (earth). I just understood.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I just know even when you lose someone you love it's okay. They are fine. It's us stuck down here in ignorance that is sad.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes It's hard to explain a given knowledge that you don't understand yourself, but rather could only feel it. How can you explain a feeling if who you're talking to has never had it.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The love I felt. The understanding I felt. I knew we are all here for each other. I knew to give love and care to everyone. I knew we are ALL GOD'S children all of us.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I told my husband right away about it and my family as well. Then forgot about it until years later when I read books on NDEs and understood that it had happened to me.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real. I knew the feeling I had was nothing I had ever experienced before in my life, it was something I have not had ever before or after, it was profound and no way to deny the truth of it.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real. I fear I will have some bad times ahead I think GOD knew I needed my soul to learn that it's all 'okay' after all, the son I gave birth to is now twenty and a skydiver instructor. But I have that in the back of my mind all the time. I know death is the beginning of the most beautiful thing out of this world.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No
Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? I think you did great and I thank you for being here. I notice often people are afraid to hear of such things. Seems no one wants to talk about death. Thing is, if you're facing it, this is EXACTLY what we need to hear. And do you know ANYONE that is not facing it? After all, we're BORN TERMINAL. Thank YOU - this is excellent!