I'm not exactly sure what happened to me. I was not sick or anything. I went to bed and fell asleep normally. I was dreaming some insignificant dream and in my dream, I went over and sat in a chair. Suddenly, my dream stopped short and all was black. A place opened up above me with a brilliant, white, misty light. The light was very, very bright, but it didn't hurt my eyes. It started out small and kept opening larger. Now, I do not recall feeling I was moving toward it, but suddenly I was in it.
There was a thick row of tall sunflowers and standing behind looking over them were these beings of light. They were shaped like a human body, but there were no features, just light and all around the edges, brighter light radiating out. I knew who they were. God, Jesus and angels. I knew they were expecting me, they knew I was coming and were waiting for me. They didn't say anything to me, I just knew these things without any doubt, they were projecting thoughts and feelings to me, and I could feel what they were trying to express to me.
I felt the most wonderful love pouring into me. I saw myself fall to my knees and begin just sobbing from the relief and joy of it, it was so wonderful. That's the only time I saw myself. I felt everything. Other than that, it was as if I was experiencing it myself. I don't really understand that part. It felt like it was filling up every cell in my body until they were about to burst. I felt no judgment, just totally enveloped in this very warm, very caring, tender love. I knew that the most important thing here is to love with all your heart, love everyone and everything. I felt that what religion you are does not matter and that all the splitting hairs, rules, and so on are man's idea. God just wants us to be loving and as long as we are learning that and growing spiritually, the specific vehicle (religion) we use to get there isn't important.
I also knew that I was absolutely not to go beyond that border of sunflowers. Then, I was back looking at the open space and watching it become smaller until it was gone.
When I woke up, I was still overcome from the feelings and wonder of it. I couldn't stop thinking about it or talking about it. I had heard of near-death experiences before, but hadn't really delved into it. Now, I could not get enough stories to read. I was amazed to find all the similarities to my experience! I had thought the border of sunflowers was very odd. I doubted that part a little and tended to leave that out when I told my experience because I thought it sounded weird. Then I read many stories were there was some type of border that you were not to go past.
This experience, whatever it was, changed my life. I no longer fear death or loved ones dying. Of course, I would miss them horribly, but I feel more at peace about it now. I try to be a more loving person. I try to be loving to everyone and have a special fondness for children. I've noticed that many people just ignore children and do not take the time to get to know them or speak to them.
I am not so focused on worldly things and am much more relaxed about life. I do not believe in hell, not as many people believe it. I think we may have to face our wrongdoings towards others for a while - that may feel like hell, but I do not believe it is a permanent state.
I have since learned that I have moderate sleep apnea. I stop breathing fifteen times an hour. I feel my experience was very near death experience-like and was always confused as to why it was so different from the out of body experiences I've had, and why it seemed so similar to other near death experiences if it was not. Given this new information, I feel it is more likely that I may have had a near death experience. I love your site, thank you for keeping up on it!
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Uncertain
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I saw a solid form, myself, my body, fall to my knees and sob. That's the only time I saw myself. Other than that it was as if I was experiencing it myself.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? I was sleeping.
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Awe, joy, relief, and confusion.
Did scenes from the future come to you? No
Did you come to a border or point of no return? No There was no question at all. It was as if I knew and they knew that I was there for a short visit for some reason.
God, Spiritual and Religion:
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I am much more forgiving, loving, caring, and less judgmental. More relaxed about life. Not so stressed about how I look or how my career is doing or whether I am raising my kids perfectly. I am not so stressed about whether I am ‘sinning’. I try to be a good person, but I feel my growth is on my own head. I don't feel that I am going to be punished by anyone for what I do or don't do. I believe I just won't progress like I wanted to, and that I'll feel bad when I am shown how my actions/inactions affected others.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes Mostly the feelings, I just cannot express enough how much love there was. A hundred times more than you've ever felt here.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The best part was the love I felt. The worst? I didn't feel any bad feelings about any of it.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes A little. Some people were awed. Some people thought I was just having a nice dream. I've never even seen any of these things before - that light, the beings of light, the feelings of love. How can you dream something you have no concept of?
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes Kind of. Just that there are movies or stories I have watched/read that reminded me of different aspects of what happened to me.