At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Illness 'Not known then but, after 20 years of research by the Dept. of Hematology at the City of Hope Hospital I was discovered to be thee first and still only known case of Hemolytic Anemia G6PD ''Alhambra'' so named after the city I was living in when accepted Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function or brain function) . I entered the hospital on February 16, 1965 at 8.5 years old because I kept passing out and didn't have the strength to walk more than a few steps without having to lay down where I was and sleep to regain strength enough to walk a few feet more. I was acutely anemic. My bone marrow stopped reproducing new red cells and continued to decay from the inside out. After 11 days of being on an IV, donating blood and running every test they could think of to no avail, it was decided less cruel to remove the IV and let me go as I wasn't responding to anything and the hope for survival had run every course beyond all prayers. On February 27, 1965, the other kids in my room were removed, my family came in one at a time to say good-bye, the IV was removed and the hospital Chaplin came in to read me last rites. He went through the rituals and got half way through Psalm 23 when I died and left my body at which time sound stopped and telepathy took its place.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Wonderful
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I lost awareness of my body
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? The difference is pretty much the same between being dead asleep and wide awake. Conscious life is like being dead asleep. We're aware of nothing but fleeting glimpses of elusive knowledge in waking life. One the other side, all the knowledge we had before life is restored and you suddenly fill stupid after it is restored that you had any questions at all.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? When I exited the dark tunnel into a blinding white light and our Creator approached me while answering every question I began to have with a single telepathic thought from Him to me which was a complete restoration of ALL knowledge. This transfer of thought/downloading of His knowledge to me allowed us both to move on to the questions He had about my life and life in general.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning Spatial perception was fuzzy but, when cornered on the thought, the space I met our Creator in, as previously said, was a large egg shaped space which is exactly, duplicated in full scale size at the Corning Museum of Glass.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Did your vision differ in any way from normal? Vision? That's a real slippery term; an earthbound reality that doesn't compare or translate well although you do continue to sense the physical environment you died in until you pass thru the dark tunnel that leaves all that behind. When I came out of the dark tunnel into the blinding light, all my perceptions and senses changed. I was inside (and sensed more than saw) the spatial shape of a huge egg when I became aware of another consciousness approaching me from 12 to 1 o'clock in front and slightly above and to their right of me. As this consciousness came closer and closer He transferred a telepathic thought that told me three things at once. That He was the creator of all life's force and there was no doubt whatsoever that He was a He. His command was very loving and gentle, 'Be at Peace.' (The Egg Space I found myself in can be experienced by anyone who visits the Corning Museum of Glass at Corning, New York. They have recreated an exact full size replica that hangs from the museum ceiling which can be entered via a skywalk. I was stunned by its exactness when I first saw and went into it. The only difference is the visible structural ribbing inside and that its black glass not white.)
Did your hearing differ in any way from normal? What sound? It was completely silent. All communication with Him (who most call God) was telepathic not audible and thus there was no room for misunderstandings. Me? I haven't used the tiny term of 'God' much since. It's way too small a word with too little meaning.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes The dark tunnel IS THE PASSAGEWAY that separated all I saw and knew of the physical hospital where my life ended and what I experienced after I came out of the tunnel into the light. Science can go back and review the floor plans of the hospital and the medical records up until February 27, 1965 but that's where the rest has to be accepted on my word alone and the words of others who've had similar experiences. And I really must insist 'similar experiences' as while there may be similarities, I've found no two exactly alike. Most say this was a NDE, while I insist mine wasn't. I was dead and damned near stayed dead. Had I answered His last question as I would today, I wouldn't be writing this.
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No Just the creator of all life's force which most others call God. At the risk of repeating myself, I still find that three-letter word too small, insignificant and all religious definitions of Him very misleading.
The experience included: Void
The experience included: Darkness
The experience included: Light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes Here's where vision and mind and the English language throw up walls that are extremely hard to overcome using a 26 character alphabet with very limited terms of expression. At the end of the dark tunnel I exited into a blinding white egg shaped space and hovered there in this space being aware that the tunnel opening I'd just come through was still to my right side. I was also aware of my body/spirit shape but never looked down at it. I was surprised that although the light surrounds me was like looking directly into the sun, I didn't at all have to squint my eyes because of it. I was thinking that rather odd when I became aware of another consciousness approaching me from above, in front and slightly to the right of my mind. The closer He got the more I KNEW who He was. As I looked towards this approaching consciousness it had the shape of a sphere of intense consciousness and mind and can only be described by saying He looked exactly like what we see when we look at the Sun without sunglasses. God? Jesus? I immediately threw those titles out the damn window. He doesn't know of them nor use them to refer to Himself. 'Creator of all life's force' is the thought He sent forth to remind me who He is. Another way of looking at it? If left alone on a desert island for 8 years you'd probably have to be reminded of who your Father was when you got back home. It's much the same.
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm The beauty I experienced was the aqute awareness and feelings of pure love in which our creator bathed my soul and shared with me. Of those that claim to have seen mountains and valleys of wildflowers and fresh running rivers and/or angels and deceased relatives, 72 virgins and rivers of gold awaiting them? I don't buy it. They had a simple hallucination, vision or dream that only their religion could help them explain and so they falsely interperate what they experienced and/or hope to some day.
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Pure wonder, complete absence of life's concerns, love, sorrow and peace; all depending on the moment and/or review of questions during telepathic conversation and mind share I had with our creator.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
The experience included: Special Knowledge
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe
The experience included: Life review
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control I never saw a video or imagery review of my life as others often claim and think their explanations are simply a very poor attempt to explain what did occur. The center of all life's force doesn't use Sony video recorders or DVD's to play back the significant events of anyone's life. I refuse to buy that such accounts can compare with a NPDE. I think those people came 'close' to death 'dreamed' and/or 'envisioned' about such events but, I don't believe they were actually on the other side of life or, like myself, they would never say such things nor define it using religious terms. All the religious dogma I was taught went right out the window as if it never existed once face to face or spirit to spirit with our creator. And this is why very few religions on earth will acknowledge such events. They'd be bankrupt in a heartbeat if everyone knew the truth. Most every church, temple, mosque and synagogue on this planet would be in ruins and ignored if all knew the truth about life and the afterlife. Most would want every dime back they ever donated.
As for what does occur? He simply asks, 'Recall all sorrow.' And He means everything you know of that you did that hurt others and everything you didn't realize hurt others; ALL OF IT. And at that command, your heart within your spirit begins to slowly swell like a water balloon. As it swells, the pain in your heart increases until it becomes overwhelming and the fear of it exploding thus banishing the remnants of your soul to all corners of the universe and beyond begins to increase with the pain. I was lucky. When He had seen enough and knew where allowing it to increase would go, He commanded me to 'Let it go' and 'Be at Peace.' And suddenly the swelling pain stopped, reversed and relaxed again to neutral. He then surrounded and washed my soul with His 'Love Light Glowing at a Gentler Pace' the essence of which took on a more golden hue. He had seen quite enough and so had I. His next pure thought? 'Recall all Joy.' The same swelling in my heart occurred which accounted for all the love, joy and happiness I had experienced during the 8 years of life I had lived. There was no video replay, just the pure essence of all joy opposite of the pure essence of all feelings of sorrow. At this, He didn't ask me to stop because it never became too intense. A sustained moment later, He again commanded me to 'Let it Go', and 'Be at Peace.' And again He washed and cleansed my soul in His love light until I was at neutral again. He then asked, 'Balance the two.' Balance the measure of joy against the measure of sorrow. That was an instant no-brainer. There was so much more sad as I suspect is true with everyone. Love and Joy during physical life is such a fleeting and elusive nectar whilst sorrow is so much so more ever present. I think we all answer that question the same yet, he had a final question. 'Of Life; what do you think?' My reply then? I shrugged in thought, 'How would I know; I was only 8.' (What could I know?) He thought about that honest answer a moment then replied with His own conclusion, 'Your life's not done. You've a purpose still. A mission you're on you've yet to fill.' I awoke back in my body as the car I was sleeping in the back seat of bounced over the gutter into our driveway far from the time and place of the hospital room I died and never regained consciousness in. And this is where it gets real confusing. I have very vivid memories of every day in that hospital; of every child, I shared that room with and every test they ran on me from spinal taps to bone marrow extractions until the day I died. I KNOW did not recover in that nor any other hospital. When I returned to life and full consciousness, the first thing I saw was our crab apple tree beside the driveway; it was in full bloom, which never occurred in February.
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future I have had many precognitive visions, day and reoccurring night dreams that later played themselves out in exacting detail. Some warned of danger which I was able to avoid; others of horrific events that couldn't be avoided such as the passenger jet and small plane collision that took place over our City of Cerritos while others had little to no importance; just proof that the script of my life has already been written. As Shakespeare said, 'We are all just actors on a stage' acting out our parts. It's also become very clear in the decades since my NPDE that the most powerful and richest people on this planet seem to have access to the script of my life. While many of them have approached me for my thoughts on many topics of both insignificantly small and global events, they also seem to be under some horrific threat not to tell me anything about that which they already know. That my life is being closely watched and monitored by many great and powerful people has become all too obvious. Just as obvious as some unspoken instruction they all have NOT to interfere with my life's path as well. Here's a tidbit: I'm a nobody in the great scheme of things and never wanted to be something. I have zero aspirations to rise to any level of power over anything or anyone at any time. I'm not a control freak and abhor those who are. I consider myself an international citizen and only hold a US Passport because it's the country I was born in, NOT the country I'd prefer to claim as my homeland. I do NOT agree with this country's foreign policies, which are controlled by war caterers and the mega rich who only seek to get richer. Yet, oddly, back in the late 80's William Randolph Hearst, Jr., one of the nicest mega rich people I've ever had the pleasure to know asked me who I thought most deserved the noble peace prize. I said, Mikhail Gorbachev. While perhaps an easy guess, I was taken aback when he was later named.
The experience included: Boundary
Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? No I passed right through the walls and ceiling as if both didn't have solidity anymore and they didn't.
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What was your religion prior to your experience? Moderate Baptized Episcopalian
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I've shrugged off religion immediately after. I found that what they tried teaching me about heaven and hell wasn't true at all. The Creator never asked me what brand of religion I was reared with. He never asked if I knew and accepted some guy named Jesus as my savior. Religion was most remarkably absent from both our concerns and it has remained absent from my life since. And I don't miss it. I don't 'need' it. I do accept and quote often the good thoughts each religion has to offer but I'd adhere to none of them. The ever-present reminder that one day I'm going to be forced again to review the pains and sorrows of my life forces me to keep them as few as humanly possible until then. It was tough enough after just 8.5 years but, at least since, I've been armed with the kinds of things I'll have to face when I die again and don't get sent back. In light of that thought, if I've offended your beliefs, expectations or accumulated knowledge herein, I apologize for that but, it was not intentional. Much as I hate to say it, for those that haven't had such an experience this is like a religion, which means you have to believe it's true without knowing it is. Thus, this is a religion of sorts but it's based on events that have verifiable points in today's world. It's not something you can't research because it happened 2000 years ago and no evidence remains.
What is your religion now? Liberal 'NONE!!! I abandoned ALL religious dogma because of meeting our creator. Earth bound religion is BS. No religion on earth teaches anything about the truth or existence of what they call God or the afterlife. They're ALL clueless regards what they teach though I strongly suspect they all know what they're teaching is hogwash. Religion today is all about collecting money and controlling the minds and thoughts of the ignorant masses. If Christ were to return to life today, they would all conspire to deny He had which I strongly believe they have already done. They would never turn their assets, power and control over to one man.'
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I've shrugged off religion immediately after. I found that what they tried teaching me about heaven and hell wasn't true at all. The Creator never asked me what brand of religion I was reared with. He never asked if I knew and accepted some guy named Jesus as my savior. Religion was most remarkably absent from both our concerns and it has remained absent from my life since. And I don't miss it. I don't 'need' it. I do accept and quote often the good thoughts each religion has to offer but I'd adhere to none of them. The ever-present reminder that one day I'm going to be forced again to review the pains and sorrows of my life forces me to keep them as few as humanly possible until then. It was tough enough after just 8.5 years but, at least since, I've been armed with the kinds of things I'll have to face when I die again and don't get sent back. In light of that thought, if I've offended your beliefs, expectations or accumulated knowledge herein, I apologize for that but, it was not intentional. Much as I hate to say it, for those that haven't had such an experience this is like a religion, which means you have to believe it's true without knowing it is. Thus, this is a religion of sorts but it's based on events that have verifiable points in today's world. It's not something you can't research because it happened 2000 years ago and no evidence remains.
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes ABSOLUTELY. Our Creator telepathically transferred from His mind to mine All Knowledge to answer the 20 trillion questions that began to rush to the front of my mind as soon as I realized whom I was standing before in spirit form. It's not detailed knowledge we can consciously have while trapped in a physical body and I'd LOVE to have access to the plane or dimension we were in that allowed me access to that knowledge again yet, the essence of it remains. It keeps me from stressing much over anything. Life is much like being in a deep sleep. Death as most don't know it is a return to full consciousness and mental aptness though earthly concerns no longer matter.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes Sadly, I've never met a girl who can keep up with me mentally and it's not that I'm smarter than every woman out there; I just don't think the same as anyone else. I don't think I'm alone though. For those that have been on the other side and back, life is forever changed. It's extremely difficult to talk deeply with others without the profound changes it has had on your thinking coming up and altering the conversation in a direction no one can or wants to follow. I have discussed this with some but find most just roll their eyes and say, 'Yeah, I've heard of that but, don't believe in it.' To which I often say, 'Well, put it this way. If a UFO landed in your backyard and you went up and kicked the tires, talked with the aliens who came out to ask why you were kicking their spaceship and then they flew off before you could call your friends or take pictures, you'd no longer have to 'believe' in UFO's and those that fly them. You'd KNOW they're real but everyone you told would have to 'believe' you. You'd know 'for sure, for sure' but, they never would unless the same happened to them.' It's much the same with this topic albeit, astral projection, visions, precognitive and sometimes recurring night or day dreams, NDE's or, as I insist mine was, NPDE's.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes And the reasons are many. First? Nobody wants to hear it and when you stumble across somebody, who's open minded enough to listen there are aspects of the spatial dimension of the spirit side that no language on earth can accurately define or convey to those who haven't been there. Time and place is the hardest concept to let go of or explain not having. Still, words are not so much what makes describing an OOBE, a NDE or a NPDE (Near Permanent Death Experience) as I went through so impossible, it's the field of science we're all taught to think within that tosses up the barriers. Such experiences, notwithstanding all others such as precognitive night and day dreams, visions and astral travel, just aren't the kind of things science can slap in a jar, label and put on a shelf for later study and review. If you haven't experienced such, you're forced to 'believe' those that have and the aforementioned too often conflicts with other belief and faith systems already held. So, we learn, we're even forced and coerced to keep it to ourselves.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes Precognitive visions which only I had prior now seem to be shareable with those standing near me and/or with those emotionally attached to me afterwards. If you don't want to see unexpected visions of future events, stand off and away from me and/or don't get emotionally attached to me or you might start seeing things too that you can't explain. It's not a bad thing but can be scary if you don't understand what's occurring. I refer to it as both a blessing and a burden and it's often hard to decide which it is when. An example? There were three others, Bob, his brother Rick and a mutual friend named Ted who was with me when we saw the passenger jet explode and fall to the ground over the Los Angeles area 10 years before it actually happened. We were so convinced that we'd just witnessed an air crash that we all went home to catch the news to see why it happened. There was nothing on the news and nothing in the papers the next day. We were stunned then that no one else had witnessed it and that it wasn't in the news. How can a passenger jet break up over the Los Angeles area and then vanish as if it never happened. It didn't make any sense at all until it happened directly over my neighborhood Ten Years After.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Oh, yes. All of it changed my life completely after being restored (resurrected?) to life by our creator. (I have to add the word 'resurrected' because my body was completely destroyed and that's the only English word that defines being raised from the dead and restored to life after the body has decayed.) The answers religion stuffed in my head suddenly became absurd. It was obvious afterwards that no religion on earth had the first clue and they don't want to look at the truth where it can be had. They vehemently ignore those of us who know the truth in exchange for the cash they get from pretending they know all the answers they can't possibly know. Quite simply, their answers prove they know nothing. And while most religious people are of very good intention, heart and soul, those that design the religions they adhere or claim to adhere to are, in my opinion, not. For me, it's quite possible to have a very close understanding of or relationship with our Creator without giving a middleman 10% of your pay each week. For those seeking reality based answers, you're going to discover more of them by combing through websites like this than by memorizing religious books.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes But, like most others, I've learned it's largely a waste of time as it scares most people. It totally attacks the belief systems they hold and people seem to love their beliefs no matter how bogus. Me? I don't have to believe in beliefs anymore and haven't had to since. I know what's true and what isn't. Religion is based in truths but quickly shrouds itself again in fanciful stories and mysteries that have no basis in fact, truth or any meaningful significance. Religion is a comfortable place of mind for those that really don't want to face the truth. They're taught they don't need further data so long as they have 'faith' in the things their church tells them regardless of the fact that there are answers to the questions they ask. Others? The more they get to know others and me with similar experiences, the further away they seem to need to get. Honesty is a horrible thing and only an honest person can force others to face honesty. Haven't met many that can face honesty but I can be nothing but honest as I know the pain we face before our creator when we have to face all our dishonesty at once. I'm not going through that much pain again and the only way to limit it is to remain completely honest at all and any cost. And it's been my experience when you do that a strange thing occurs. You become free of the mental burdens that dishonesty adds to your life and you become a lie detector machine of sorts. Quite unintentionally, others seem to be attracted to this. You become their ground wire, a walking confessional. You'd be shocked at what strangers have confessed to me capping their horrors with, 'I don't know why I'm telling you this?!! I've never told anyone what I just told you!' Just another part of why I consider all this both a blessing and a burden. It's part of why I became a non-denominational emergency crisis Chaplin. What I've heard is thus confidential.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No Only death again will produce the same experience and when that occurs, I'm going to tell Him what I thought of having to come back! If He skips to the question, 'Well, Of life? What do you think?' I'm going to tell Him straight up, 'You want to know what life is like? How about you go back and pick mine up, whilst I stay here and check people in. And O, by the way? When you come back, I won't bother to ask you what you thought of it!' Boy, did I screw up by saying, 'I don't know, I was only 8.' Now I have to go through death a second time. Not that death is painful, it isn't. It's actually quite pleasant but, you can't go around telling people how pleasant it is or everyone would rush to experience it. And that may be why it's so hard to describe. Maybe He doesn't want those that know telling others?
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? Hold an annual seminar in which others like myself are the speakers with an audience of those who aren't afraid of the answers they'll get to their questions.
Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? Yes! Ask the question, 'Would you be willing to speak and answer audience questions at a conference about such experiences?'