On July 5 1989, on a well-known cruise line, I fell approximately 70 feet. I was at the top of the staircase coming down with my boyfriend. The staircase was really crowded and I was afraid of being pushed down the stairs so I went to the railing. I leaned all my body weight on the railing (I am tall and was wearing heels), and I stopped and looked back to see where my boyfriend was. It happened so fast. Someone bumped me and I lost my balance. I tried to grab the railing, but I was already falling over backwards. I tried to grab a long tapestry that was hanging through the staircase, but it was like trying to grab a wall. I knew I was falling. The last thing I remember is saying to myself, ‘Oh God I'm falling, I'll deal with this at the bottom’.
I don't remember any part of the fall, but I remember the hit at the bottom. I couldn't see anything and I couldn't feel anything. I felt the air knocked out of me but it felt as if I fell in a tight spot, like I was squeezed between something. I could hear a woman screaming, 'Oh God, look at her leg!'. I don't know the how long it took, but it seemed to happen in seconds. All of a sudden, I could see that I was staring at the carpet; my face was just inches from hitting the ground. I then felt really embarrassed because I was wearing a dress and thought my butt was showing (I was still hanging upside down and still could not feel anything), so I tried covering my butt with my skirt. I noticed I could only see one leg. I remember all of this so clearly like it just happened. I looked up (behind me) and I could see my other leg hanging there. I couldn't get off the railing and no one was helping me. I remember grabbing my leg and dropping to the ground. I still don't know if anyone helped me, but I was alone. I couldn't see anyone, but could hear them and then I couldn't hear anything. I remember seeing everything hanging out of my leg.
Then I looked in front of me and could see about six really bright figures in front of me. I couldn't see who they were, but I remember how bright they were. I remember squinting to try to see who they were (I had no idea that they were spirits at the time). It was a BEAUTIFUL experience but I just couldn't see who they were and why they were like bright lights. They were so calm and peaceful, and stayed next to each other swaying slightly side to side. I wasn't afraid at all, that is until I saw that they were not touching the floor. At that point, I recall being really afraid and then all of a sudden I was way up at the ceiling. I didn't know what or why this was happening. I didn't feel any different, I felt like my normal self but with no gravity, like a genie. I remember this so clear. I was thinking ‘why am I up here?’ and I could see myself way below. It was like being on a fast roller coaster. I took off fast.
All of a sudden, I was lying on a stretcher, being ran to the ship's medical room. I felt back to normal, afraid and freaked out.
Then the real nightmare began, but it's not part of the experience.
Date NDE Occurred: 'July 5/6, 1989'
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Accident. My body came down so hard that the railing looked like a car hit it (so I was told). My bones and stuff were hanging out of my leg and I lost a lot of blood, including the trauma of the impact.
I fell 70 feet.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Both pleasant AND distressing
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes The light figures and going up to the ceiling. I remember talking to myself and hearing my own thoughts about everything that was happening.
My boyfriend said that he ran down the stairs thinking he would see my brains/grey matter everywhere (he was a Marine and had seen it before), but when he got to the bottom I was sitting up looking at him with very wide eyed.
I clearly left my body and existed outside it
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal I felt aware during the whole experience, except during the fall in the staircase.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Faster than usual
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Time seemed to go faster or slower than usual
I can't relate to how much time this experience took.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? More vivid than usual
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I could only see the light figures. I couldn't see any real people around me.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I couldn't hear anything except for when the impact happened and I could hear the woman screaming about my leg. I then heard nothing until I was back on my stretcher.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Uncertain I don't know who they were, but they were not of this earth.
The experience included: Unearthly light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes The light was so bright I couldn't look into it.
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? I was so very confused. I didn't understand who the beings were. When I went up to the ceiling, I was REALLY confused. I didn't know why I was so high.
The experience of watching the light figures was extremely peaceful. I felt love - love and peace.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? No
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No
Did scenes from your past come back to you? No
Did scenes from the future come to you? No
Did you come to a border or point of no return? No I felt like I was on a really fast roller coaster taking off and then all of a sudden I was on a stretcher and could see and hear the people above me running with me. This was the first time since hearing the lady scream about my leg that I could hear and see any real people.
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Not important to me
What was your religion prior to your experience? Unaffiliated- Nothing in particular- Religious unaffiliated I didn't believe in after life, spirit, etc. I had no awareness of us existing after death and didn't know for years that so many other people experienced these things.
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes Now I KNOW!!!
What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Greatly important to me
What is your religion now? Other faiths- New age I believe in a Higher Power, I believe we continue after human death, I believe we are guided and watched over, I believe in Spirit, I believe that it is pure love and that is home.
Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience I really had no beliefs about any of this. We were raised Catholic and I went to Catholic School from 1st to 8th grade and it was a horrible experience. The Nuns were so mean and hateful and the stuff they taught with all the fear and punishment seemed like such bullshit to me, even as a kid, that I didn't believe in ANY of it. I didn't even believe that a man named Jesus really ever existed. I didn't believe one word of the Bible, nothing. BUT I DID BELIEVE IN GOD, just not the mean hateful God that the Nuns taught us about. And I always believed in Angels.
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes Although not for years later. After my fall, I went through hell, with the ship leaving my boyfriend and I in Mexico - where the nightmare really began. They left me there for dead and offered no assistance. Luckily, my boyfriend was an ex-marine in Special Forces. He wrote a precise report on the events that took place and got me out of their through Life Flight, who flew me into another hospital just in time. It wasn't my time to die, I know that now.
The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin There were six of them all beside each other, all slightly swaying side to side and facing me.
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? Uncertain I could almost see the image of one of the faces, but couldn't tell who it was. Female energy, soft, loving.
During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No
During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? No
Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? God definitely exists
During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Uncertain The fact that I saw these beings, and that the whole experience was so loving and peaceful (besides my confusion). I still see it clearly in my mind.
Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God definitely exists
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Uncertain
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are not meaningful and significant
During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No
Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? An afterlife probably does not exist
Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists Yes The experience only. However, I didn't believe in it and thought it was crazy. It wasn't until my baby daughter died in 1994, I was so sick from her death and couldn't eat that my mom (who did healing work that I didn't believe in) took me to a "Healer".
Did you fear death prior to your experience? I greatly feared death
Do you fear death after your experience? I do not fear death
Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Greatly fearful in living my earthly life
Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Slightly fearful in living my earthly life
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are not meaningful and significant
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are meaningful and significant
Did you gain information about how to live our lives? Uncertain When you experience this, it never leaves you. I tried to let it go but it stays there. I felt that was more real than anything.
During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No
Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others
During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes Just the "feeling" of it all around me.
Were you compassionate after your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others
What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life Large changes in my life. I've gone through so many that I cannot even put them here. I understand things better and continue searching for answers, which I find.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes Yes This was a major life changing experience for me. I remember lying in bed so many nights wondering why I was allowed to live, why was I here etc., etc. A girl I worked with, who was my age, died in a car accident during my rehab. She was the only one who was killed, and no one else was injured. I just wanted to know why I lived through such a horrible fall that no one can survive, yet she died so fast.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes
How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience It's so clear that I can see them even with my eyes open, like right now. I don't need to close my eyes, or meditate. It's always there with me. Very comforting.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I have many now, and so does my son. My home has activity that I have caught on film and have shown to experts in that field.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? I am here for a purpose and it wasn't my time to go. I am so grateful that I didn't lose my leg (they were going to take it in Mexico) and I am grateful to GOD every day of my life. I KNOW I am not alone.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was probably real I really didn't know anything about it, but I knew what I saw. I thought it was crazy and people would think I was crazy, but after this experience, I went through a lot of emotional and physical pain. I almost lost my leg, and was in bed for six months. I spent the next five years in pain and in therapy to bend my leg, (it was stuck straight for over a year because of scar tissue). I really went through a lot after the accident. I have a long 18 inch scar on my right leg and it was tough for a young girl. It wasn't until after losing my daughter in 1994 that I really started to think about it and where my daughter went, but all of this was confirmed after my mom crossed over on July 30 2007. After her death so much has been confirmed to me and to my son.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real I understand it better now because I have searched for answers.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes It's hard to explain - not the actual same experience, but definitely spirit related.
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? There is a lot more to it, but we covered the main stuff.