I was undergoing a gynecologic surgery. I was given anesthesia and it seems I lost consciousness and then I felt like a fight within my body and then an escape towards a black tunnel, which had bronze colored stripes, at an ever increasing speed. There were unexpected bifurcations inside the tunnel; I turned to the right, went straight for some time and then changed directions again. I felt as if I was disintegrating inside the tunnel, i.e. my body lost consistency and I felt that the tunnel completely wrapped around me. I felt dizziness and was moving in spirals inside the tunnel. It is something indescribable. After a blow, I found myself in a viscous sea of mud. There were many people with me and we were trying to escape from it but could not. I was completely desperate; these people were suffering a lot; they were in torment (while I remember this, my skin goes bristled and my body recalls the horrible sensation). I then thought that this was HELL and I thought, 'OH My! This looks like Dante's Hell.' I also remember thinking, 'He must have done this trip,' and also 'Why do I deserve hell?'
This horror looked like it was going to last forever. Then, I felt tiredness and thought only about abandoning my body, quitting. But at the same time, I knew, with certainty, that if I did I would stay there forever. From this I took renewed strength and thought about my five month old baby and my boyfriend, two people I love so and visualized my son growing up without me. I said, 'No. I don't want to stay.' I also felt that I had a purpose, a mission that was not yet fulfilled in this life. This was not a work I had to finish, but rather a stage that I had to complete in this life, a form of spiritual growth. At that moment, I escaped from the mud pool, that indescribably horrible substance. At that same moment, at an incredible speed, I went up and found a White Light. It was not that 'I' was in the white light but that I was part of the white light. For a second I was part of the white light and then it seems it bounced me back. I hit it and there was like a wall; an energetic wall; an energy that I compare with what I felt the first time I touched my boyfriend; it was the same substance.
When I bounced back, I went back to the tunnel at the same speed but it was not the same tunnel. It was like another exit. When I came back, I was not in the surgery room but in a hospital room and my vision was blurry and reality was not completed defined; I recall my mother's red dress and the same dizziness, I had a hysterical crisis. I only yelled 'I don't want to die! I don't want to leave my son!' Afterwards, my perception of reality turned to normal.
Date NDE Occurred: 06/16/04
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Uncertain Surgery-related Life threatening event, but not clinical death Complicaciones de anestesia durante cirugiaIt was at surgery and apparently I had problems responding to the anesthesia. I was administered four times the normal dose. That is why I knew from the beginning (even though very deeply) that the experience WAS REAL. I did not want to look like I was crazy so I said that it probably was a hallucination originated by the anesthesia; a secondary effect.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Frightening
Did you feel separated from your body? Uncertain No
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal It is unexplainable. I felt I knew with absolute certainty what was the truth. When I was part of it, I felt incredible peace and joy
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? When I was in front of the light; when I was part of the Light.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning Absolutely. It seemed as if those two things did not exist where I was.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Did your vision differ in any way from normal? Exactly so. This explains exactly what I felt. Matter went from a solid state to transparent, including me; I was losing consistency. Mud was dark and I was caught in it. My vision was not the one I have with my eyes - I did not see with my eyes.
Did your hearing differ in any way from normal? There was a noise when I was in the tunnel and when I was in the mud I felt the noise of viscosity.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes The first tunnel had turns and I felt it was compressing me. The second tunnel I felt I was falling freely.
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Uncertain Well, I had visions of the future. When I saw my son growing up with me, it was not my imagination. I was seeing the exact reality as to how his life was going to be without me. I felt he was going to miss something.
The experience included: Darkness
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes I saw the Light. I don't know if is the 'nothing' or the 'everything'. I do not know how to describe it but I know that this is the truth. And that light is what you call a superior being or God.
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm esta todo en el relato
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Fear to uncertainty; disorientation when I was in the tunnel - total horror; I felt small, 'as shit' in the mud.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
The experience included: Special Knowledge
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future I have incredible deja vu. I am able to know what a person that is with me is going to do or say next. Do not think I am crazy! I am now more confident, for example, I do not think (anymore) that accidents or bad things will happen to me as before. I have faith that all will come out well even when things go bad.
The experience included: Boundary
Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes I felt I was disintegrating inside the tunnel due to the speed. I felt I lost consciousness.
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What was your religion prior to your experience? Liberal No tengo ninguna afilicion a una iglesia aunque soy catolica de crianza. Me identifico mucho con el budismo y el taoismo.Tengo fe, y soy una persona espiritual, en el sentido que cultivo las cualidades especificamente humanas. Soy muy concienta de la ener
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Uncertain My mind was opened and freed. I do not feel any ties to any knowledge.
What is your religion now? Liberal No tengo ninguna afilicion a una iglesia aunque soy catolica de crianza. Pero tengo fe, y soy una persona espiritual, en el sentido que cultivo las cualidades especificamente humanas. Soy muy concienta de la energia. Que la amteria es energia condensada.
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Uncertain My mind was opened and freed. I do not feel any ties to any knowledge.
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes I saw the Light. I don't know if is the 'nothing' or the 'everything'. I do not know how to describe it but I know that this is the truth. Also, after that I felt that this reality is only a faτade and all what is real and true is over there.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Uncertain I have turned somewhat sweeter, more comprehensive.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes It is difficult to explain because it felt like a corporal or body experience; in the senses. When I travelled through the tunnel, I felt it wrapped around me completely and that was disconcerting, as if I was disintegrating.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The entire experience. Love moved me. I know I came back because of my love for my family and for myself. I realized that what gave me strength to come back was my personal realization. It is a 'cliche' but it was not my time yet.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes The same day it happened I told my relatives in the clinic. Most of them believed me. My mother was impressed. My brother and his wife who are very spiritual and looking actively for spiritual things believed me completely and told me that apparently I now knew what was really there. My boyfriend told me, 'That was hell.' Others doubted. I have shared this experience with a few people. I only tell about it when I feel a connection with someone because I know that many will think I am crazy.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Uncertain A general idea.
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real. That same night I felt incredible peace and lightness, as a baby would feel when it is born (I also think that the tunnel is comparable to the mother's delivery channel - it is a path and it was painful.) The certainty that 'That' was reality, what is under what we see and perceive.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real. I know it was real. People who have had this experience know it is true and can understand me. It is a certainty that derives from my personal experience and no one can take it away from me. Some will believe, some will doubt.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Uncertain Never. Only when I recall it, I can feel it as if I was living it again and my skin bristles.
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I saw what I suppose was hell; where I think people go when they get tied up there by their own will. It might sound crazy but I think it is related to Buddhist reincarnation theories in some way. I also saw the light and when I leave (die) again, I truly want to go there and not to the other place. I know it depends on how long I walk in this life; it depends on the growth and liberation I can obtain.
Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? I will think about it and let you know. At this moment, I do not have anything in mind. Maybe you could propitiate meetings in local communities with people who have lived that experience and put them in contact. I would like to meet somebody who has lived it.