Experience Description

I was in anaphylactic shock. I knew I was dying; I was in great pain, went blind and then deaf. Then I died. I went out through my body, down through the emergency room bed, and then flew up into a corner of the room. I didn't look at myself on the bed; I knew right away that I had died. It was pitch black, like a total void, and I felt wonderful. I felt so good. I had no pain. I felt light, and like I had no body. I knew God, or some higher power was there. I knew that He held the key to my going back to Earth. I didn't talk to God, and He didn't talk to me, it was all emotions. I insisted I return, demanded actually, because I am a single parent of four children, and they needed me. This went on, with my demands, and also for my mother who is eighty and has already lost one child. Then God laughed, not at me, but I believe because I was so mad, and so angry at him. He 'told' me that I could go back because my requests were all for others.

Then I had an out of body experience, where I saw my boyfriend outside the building, he had broken up with me the day before, and 'someone' told me, 'Don't be upset, he's not the one.' Then I was back in my body.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: 9/8/01

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Allergic reaction Clinical death I was in anaphylactic shock.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Mixed

The experience included: Out of body experience

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I was just a soul, not a body.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? I don't know.

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning During my OBE, the spatial relations of my being up high and yet my boyfriend being inches from me.

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes I knew I was in the presence of a higher being. I refer to him as 'God,' I couldn't see him, but I felt him. He 'talked' to me, through feelings. I was mad at Him, for taking me, and I refused to go with Him. He laughed at/with me, lovingly, for being so insistent that I return. He 'told' me, my requests were all for others, not myself, so I could return.

The experience included: Void

The experience included: Darkness

Did you see an unearthly light? No

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm I have been consumed with blue.

The experience included: Special Knowledge

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe What we look like, have, do, and are irrelevant. Also, my love for my children changed greatly, I don't love them as much as I used to, and I love them for who they are, not who I want them to be. They aren't my children, they are the world's children.

Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will I told God I had to return, and I was allowed. I was madder then heck that I had died, I knew I was dying previously, told the nurses that, and then I died, and I told God I had to return to raise my children, and because my mother didn't deserve to lose another child.

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Moderate

What is your religion now? Liberal

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I love more people, am less anal about beliefs in God, but also, I feel very sad at the world.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I blow out light bulbs, if I try I can talk to dead people, and spirits just appear sometimes, and I know people's names before they tell me, and I just know things.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The best was how I feel about life, and the worst is that I spent two years almost wishing I could die so I could go back. I wanted to die daily.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Some understanding, some think I am crazy.

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? It's been a blessing and a curse.

Did the questions asked and information that you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience? Uncertain