I either get that exact question or something similar, like, 'Does Dying Hurt?' I usually answer with another question, and it's not because I'm being difficult. It just really depends on whether you want to know if the getting to the dying part hurts or whether actually dying hurts. For me, getting to actually dying hurt. The brain hemorrhage was extremely painful - so much so that I was given a narcotic one hundred times stronger than Morphine to keep my body unconscious - but even then, I still remember hurting A LOT.
Dying was actually a really easy process. To keep the blog post short, I'm only going to talk about one instance. Discussing all three experiences gets to be a bit much in one setting. Right before I left my body, everything went still. I compare the stillness to what it feels like when you take a walk outside right before a really big storm - it's that calm, quiet, yet supercharged buzz - only without the impending sense of doom. There was a momentary blackness along with the stillness, then I was above my body, and because I felt so amazing, I was curious! There was absolutely no more pain. None. I felt AWESOME!
I remember looking at my body in the bed and thinking that I was much smaller than I ever thought I was. All my life up to that point I had looked at myself as larger, no matter what the tag on the back of my clothing said (at that time it was a size two). On the other side, I could really see my body for what it was. I remember thinking I was tiny, especially compared to the size of the bed. The doctors had put all kinds of grainy gunk in my hair because they needed to do an electroencephalogram, so I remember finding it humorous that my hair looked like Frankenstein's bride's beehive. I remember thinking that I definitely wasn't going to win a beauty contest, and yet everyone in the room emanated a vibration of pure love.
That vibration is the only thing that carried with me. I did not grieve on the other side, and because I only felt the love of those in the room, it was really easy to leave when Gabriel and Raph'l came to get me. It's funny, when I sit and analyze it now; there was absolutely no fear at that point for me and no real attachment to my body either. I realized it was a shell, that I was still alive, and that it was time for me to go.
We went through a light tunnel together - Gabriel on one side and Raph'l on the other. I can't describe how we were traveling. It wasn't like we see movies depict people flying. It was an energy travel - like we set our intention and away we went. The feeling of lightness was truly incredible. It was such a relief to be outside my body. We came to a place that I can only describe as pure love. It wasn't said or verbally expressed. It just WAS. The energy could be seen everywhere - glowing, ethereal beauty. Seeing was very different there. Things were vividly alive with energy. I was told that I had a choice - I could stay or I could go back, but if I went back, I had to promise to help others understand and reclaim their spiritual selves. It's funny - I saw NO religion there. There was no separation based on religion. The first couple of times, I chose to go back, and it felt instantaneous. The third time, I really didn't want to come back and then my Dad met me. He told me that he didn't raise a quitter and that I needed to go back - that I had a mission that most people would never be given the opportunity to be blessed with. At the same time, on this side, I heard a man that I loved dearly tell me 'Please don't leave me.' I heard him as plain as day. His voice was very clear. I chose to come back at that point.
The psychic gifts of clairvoyance, clairsentience, mediumship, and empathic abilities were restored to me after I returned. I had them as a child but swore them off as Satan's tools in my early twenties. I was shown that the brain hemorrhage in the left lobe was the only way for me to be forced to rely on them again. Both Gabriel and Raph'l miraculously healed me. I was told that my body was going through significant healing so that my spirit could go back to it. I had a five percent chance to live and a two percent chance to be anything but a vegetable. I am normal and happy and grateful.
Date NDE Occurred: 2/17/2009
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Direct head injury subcutaneous hemorrhage due to trauma combined with 17.72 cm. 3 left temporal lobe hemorrhage Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function or brain function)
How do you consider the content of your experience? Mixed
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes
I clearly left my body and existed outside it
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal After going through the light tunnel.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? After going through the light tunnel.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
Space and time existed together. In fact, everything existed together somehow. Physical time as we know it here doesn't exist on the other side.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Everything was made up of energy, and vibrantly alive. This was extremely different from when I fainted after being released from the hospital when my blood pressure dropped to 80/40. Everything pixelated right before I fainted then. On the other side, everything was flowing energy, yet it held form.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes It was a light tunnel that started out on this end quite skinny, and as we traveled it got wider and wider until it opened up to the other side.
The experience included: Presence of deceased persons
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes Gabriel and Raph'l - it totally surprised me that I knew them down to my soul.
The experience included: Void
The experience included: Light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes But I saw the light as two separate beings, and I knew they were Gabriel and Raphael.
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm The other side is an incredibly complex dimension to try to perceive on this side through our limited physical senses. The rivers of energy are mind blowing.
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Surprise, peace, happiness, rest, comfort, love.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
The experience included: Special Knowledge
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe
The experience included: Life review
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control I had a complete life review and pieces of it are still coming back to me. What I remember most is seeing the affairs of my husband through his eyes and through the eyes of his mistresses. I was overcome with forgiveness, understanding, and compassion. When I came back to this side, all that baggage was gone.
The experience included: Vision of the future
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future And very accurate. It is a bit too much to describe here at this point.
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What was your religion prior to your experience? Moderate 'I considered myself spiritual but not religious. I was raised Christian; however, angels were always scoffed at so I found it quite surprising to be met by both Archangels Gabriel and Raph'l, and to know them by name.'
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Uncertain I do not practice formal religion. It is bondage and I won't ever go there again. I am much more spiritual and practice daily meditation, remote viewing, and connecting to my guides.
What is your religion now? Moderate I am much more spiritual but still would not consider myself religious.
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Uncertain I do not practice formal religion. It is bondage and I won't ever go there again. I am much more spiritual and practice daily meditation, remote viewing, and connecting to my guides.
The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes I was shown that I was choosing to come back to help spirits in physical bodies maximize the gifts they were given on the other side. I was shown the parable of the talents in the Bible - that our gifts are given with great care, because it is through maximizing them that our souls learn and advance.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I am kinder, more patient, and more tolerant than before.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I had spiritual gifts when I was young, but I determined to turn them off and never use them again after several frightening experiences in my twenties and early thirties. I came back with clairvoyance, clairsentience, mediumship, and empathic abilities. It was very uncanny when I first came back because I would repeat to people what they were thinking, not what they were saying. I was actually hearing their thoughts, so it made for some very uncomfortable situations until I learned to adjust.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? All of it was meaningful and it is very hard to write it out linearly.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Most people are very touched. It touches the spirit inside of them, and their energy softens. Some have deemed me to be a nut case and have shut me out of their lives. Others have expressed fear about it and have again shut me out of their lives.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes I had read a book with my dad right before he passed.
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real Again, I had some complications after the hemorrhage and after leaving the hospital. Blacking out with a blood pressure of 80/40 was totally different than the other experiences. I was hence given the same narcotics that I was given to save my life, and there was absolutely no comparison to the experiences I had, so I know they could not have been hallucinations.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No Nope.