Experience Description

I had had attacks before and always recovered, this time I could tell I wasn't. In effect, you strangle. I had somehow hooked myself through a window in the bathroom to try to breathe better I guess. Anyhow, as a result when I passed out I didn't fall down. A short peaceful time passed, as I was no longer struggling for air.

Then I was outside the window (we were on the thirty-seventh floor) looking back on me passed out in the window. My hand was reaching out to the me in the window. The night was dark but the stars were getting lighter eating up the night. I felt an urgency to take the me in the window with me, touch her, or get her attention. I'm not sure. But she was out. Didn't see me. I turned to go -- into the sky, night, light. Not sure. Just that that person in the window had nothing to do with me anymore. There was no sound. Maybe whooshing. But this is New York. There is always sound. This was quiet, Very quiet. Then I heard this colossal noise.

Someone was beating the door to the bathroom down. I turned around. My husband came in and started trying to get a response out of the old me. Then there were emergency medical technicians, workers, and other people. He looked horrified. I felt very sad -- the me outside the window. I lingered. I didn't fly away. Then pop. Just like before, no transition, first I was one place then the other. I was then inside my eyes and me were seeing the ceiling not the night. The clarity of this memory is not to be denied in spite of my not religious views. It was not fuzzy. I told those closest to me within a day.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: 1995

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Allergic reaction Clinical death I had apparently fatal anaphylactic attack that closed my windpipe. My husband of twenty-five years found me collapsed in the bathroom and thought I was dead.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Mixed

The experience included: Out of body experience

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes Total separation. Looking back at my body. As above.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? The body me was out cold. The me outside the window was very clear.

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning Was it simultaneous? Before? I saw the view from the thirty-seventh floor in a way impossible from a window or any perspective possible.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Silence. Whooshing.

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No

The experience included: Darkness

The experience included: Light

Did you see an unearthly light? Uncertain Growing gradually. A dark punctuated by spots of light.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm It was beautiful. But it is beautiful.

The experience included: Strong emotional tone

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Free. Positive. Adventure. Discovery. Childlike. Lack of fear.

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe

Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

The experience included: Boundary

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? No The opposite. My new world seemed limitless in contrast to my living one.

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will I didn't go. I stayed. I felt sad. I guess there was a decision to stay but I was not really aware of it.

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Liberal

What is your religion now? Liberal

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Best. This clear memory of me turning to go into the night/light. Confident. Sure. I can't say that I was that happy at the time to return. Of course, now I am definitely very happy to be here. I am not sure why. I cannot see me making much of a difference. But maybe my existence is necessary to someone I may never know who will.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes The ones who were there were so surprised I could recount what happened they accepted it. I also am regarded as a very rational person. People were surprised I would say such a thing, but they believed me.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No