I was sitting at home drinking beer but I was not drunk. I was struggling, for the first time, with addiction and really didn't understand recovery/rehabilitation. My friend came over and we took some cocaine/heroin and we left to go for car ride. Boom, out of no where, I had a seizure from being overdosed. My friend took me to the Emergency Room. I was out of my body and hovering over myself. I saw him throw me from the car and run out the door. The nurses didn't know my name or anything about me. They cut my clothes off and rifled through my wallet to find my identification. Next thing I remember was floating through walls. I followed the Emergency Room doctor, nurses, and trauma team as they took my body down the hall. Then they got my body on a table. Then I was over my body near the ceiling at the same level as the exam lights.
The nurses were able to contact my Mom.
I floated over the exam table and I saw one doctor and three nurses. I saw a heart monitor, another table, and an oxygen tank. I saw my body with all kinds of tubes coming out of me. I was naked, but the clothes are still there, just underneath my body. I don't know what's going on. I feel a little scared or uncertain about what is going on.
Then I floated through the wall and looked down to see my mother and Aunt Barbara. My mom didn't have access to a car and it was close to 1 a.m. in the morning, so they were hysterically crying and trying to look through the triangular window in the door to the room that I'm in. Now, I float back into the room where they are working on me. I can see my mother crying through the little window and I remember getting scared because I knew I was doing wrong. All of a sudden, I was sucked back into my body. During those two seconds I heard a warm, kind, and soothing voice say, 'Go back, not now.' Then swoosh, I was back in my body.
Two days later I came out of the coma. I asked the doctor and nurse who came in, 'Where's my MOM?' They responded, 'She is not here.' I say, 'How about my Aunt Barb?' They say, 'She is not here either.' About a hour later, my mom shows up very relieved. I started to tell her what I felt and saw. She couldn't believe it. Even the details about their clothes was right. Ironically, my Aunt Barb should not have been the one to give my mom the ride. That detail helped to verify the reality of what I saw. She is third on the list of who would be my mom's emergency contact. This really freaked me out and I start telling people about it. Everybody tells me that I'm nuts and don't know what I'm talking about. I started to go to Narcotics Anonymous get sober go to rehab and begin a prayer life. That was twenty-five years ago. This experience is the only vivid word-for-word memory I remember in detail. I don't remember my proms, birthdays, or anything. Yet this experience I always have fresh in my mind. When a TV show or something comes on about NDE, I can't believe how similar my experience was to what they describe.
Date NDE Occurred: October 10,1990
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Uncertain Accident. Illness. Suicide attempt. Drug or medication overdose. CPR given. Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function)
I had just lost my great-grandmother and I was getting deeper into 'harder drugs'. I was stabbed on September 17th the month prior.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Both pleasant AND distressing
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I saw the medical team, equipment, the building layout, and my mom/aunt.
I clearly left my body and existed outside it
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? Normal consciousness and alertness
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? As soon as I could see myself on the table and I saw my mom, I knew I had overdosed.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Faster than usual
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
Only at the end
Were your senses more vivid than usual? More vivid than usual
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Fuzzy, foggy around the outside of my vision and very dim relaxed setting with soft light.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Normal
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No
Did you see any beings in your experience? No
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? No
Did you see an unearthly light? No
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? I got scared when I saw my mom crying.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? No
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt no longer in conflict with nature
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe All of my concise/mind/questions/were answered, no stress
Did scenes from your past come back to you? No
Did scenes from the future come to you? No
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a definite conscious decision to return to life When I saw my mom was devastated by everything and I was frightened into returning.
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Moderately important to me
What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Catholic 12 years catholic school,received 4 sacraments, baptism,penance,holy communion,confirmation. I took the name Paul.He was my uncle who had recently died.
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I pray deeply as much as possible every day as soon as I awaken. I say a serenity prayer and beg for help and I thank Him at night.
What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Greatly important to me
What is your religion now? Select Im a born again, recovering alcoholic with a good spiritual life that includes daily prayer/meditation?
Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience at first before i noticed the pain and trauma i had caused my mom... i felt so peacefull as if i was on the greatest amusement ride or experience ever!like a fantasy.
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes All the things I was taught about character honesty, purity, humility, patience, tolerance and love. The commandments, rules of Hammurabi, all this is important to our conscious, inner thoughts.
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I heard a voice I could not identify I heard or understood a voice convey, 'Go, Go back' and in a fast-paced swoosh, I was back in my body.
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No
Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No
During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No
During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Uncertain I was content,safe,relaxed..
Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? God probably exists
During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? No
Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God definitely exists
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes Experienced, fulfilled, complete. Yes, there is more to everything. It's ok, safe, peaceful, and happiness. I still feel weird believing all of this. I have blocked it out and denied it because it doesn't make sense to my physical mind.
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are probably meaningful and significant
During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No
Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? I was uncertain if an afterlife exists
Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists Yes well then how do you explain what I was experiencing... I was dead!out,paddles shocked...beeeeeeep...
Did you fear death prior to your experience? I greatly feared death
Do you fear death after your experience? I slightly fear death
Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life
Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Moderately fearful in living my earthly life
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are meaningful and significant
Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No
During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No
Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Moderately compassionate toward others
During your experience, did you gain information about love? No
Were you compassionate after your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others
What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? I started to have an interpersonal relationship with God/Higher Power. I felt/experienced real adult companionship love and I'm still with that woman today. She is right next to me now and I told her about this experience 19 years ago. She believes and had a similar experience which blew my mind when we talked about it 19 years ago. It blew me away! I started to have an interpersonal relationship with God/Higher Power. I felt/experienced real adult companionship love and I'm still with that woman today. She is right next to me now and I told her about this experience 19 years ago. She believes and had a similar experience which blew my mind when we talked about it 19 years ago. It blew me away!
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I believe what I was taught about being a gentleman, deadly sins, we will be judged, and there is more to this cosmic energy.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? No
How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Gluttony is wrong. Self-abuse is wrong. But somehow, God understands the sickness of addiction or sin.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I keep answering the questions above, pretty cool! My wife four years later, she had experienced similar while passed-out and she will tell you if/when she is ready to share, but that just confirms our beliefs.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes Catholic High school religion class and Old Testament stories: Moses, Job, and Jesus. I'm not going to be tested because I can't remember what verse.
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real I went through the 12-step process immediately after the hospital and I considered it a spiritual experience that built what I have today.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real I'm convinced and I'm not alone! That helps so much because I don't want to be considered a nut-ball.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? No, but I did use this in my AA story sometimes when I shared. People don't get it or believe me so I told you everything I could as honestly as possible.
Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? This was good. We would have to brainstorm to find more ways to clarify our experiences but this was great! Thank you so much. I feel so good about this. I beg God to remove fear and anger from my heart every morning and it worked today. I believe that is where the strength came from today. GOD BLESS
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