I was taken to the emergency room around 7:00 am with extreme pain (headache and body aches), nausea and disorientation. I was sedated for most of the day while the medical personnel ran tests to try to determine my illness. Later that night, I was admitted and transferred to the seventh floor of Medical Center.
I was very disoriented, in pain and unable to keep any food down all day. A nurse came into my room to check on me around 8:00 pm. She asked me how I felt and she seemed upset after checking my monitors. I told her I was tired and that I just wanted to go to sleep. She grabbed my hand and told me not to go to sleep. I told her to leave me alone because I was tired and turned my head to the side. As I was turning my head away from her, I saw a bunch of people running into the room out of the corner of my eye.
Next, I was near the window that was about three feet away from the side of my bed. I seemed to be at the same height that I would have been at if I was standing on the windowsill but when I looked down, I didn't have a body. I knew I was out of my body but it didn't scare me and felt better than the pain that I had been in all day. I could see the medical personnel working on me but I didn't really pay any attention to them. The next day the nurses told me that my heart rate and blood pressure were so low that my heart was barely pumping blood.
While they were working on me, I was thinking to myself. I had read about astral projection and I was wondering why I didn't see a cord or anything attaching myself to my body. I could see the park next to the hospital. The trees looked like they had halos. I could see a plane flying over downtown Denver and when I concentrated on it I heard murmuring voices that I thought might have been the thoughts of the people on the plane. I was still above the windowsill watching the streetlights, traffic and everything going on below. I had the thought that if I walked through the glass that I could go wherever I wanted and wondered if I had time to go see my family. I didn't want to leave though because I was afraid that if I left my body for too long that I wouldn't be able to get back and that I might get lost. I hadn't seen my family for a while so I didn't know if I would be able to find them either.
My life was very chaotic at the time and I was tempted to leave myself there because I thought that even if I didn't have any money to do anything and no obligations that I still had my awareness and that I could see the world. But I knew that I would be like a ghost and that people would probably not be able to see me and that I wouldn't have any effect on the world or anyone in it anymore. I didn't see any type of tunnel or light. Everything looked the same as it usually did except it seemed that I could hear people's thoughts (like a low echo or murmur if I paid any attention to it, otherwise everything was silent) and the trees outside seemed to be glowing.
While I was thinking, I decided that if I stayed here that I wanted my life to be different and that I didn't want to keep on doing the same self-destructive things that I was involved in at the time. I knew that I would be in a lot of pain but I wasn't scared. I turned back towards my body and when I had made the firm decision that I wanted to stay here I was back in my body and woke up in the bed with the doctors and nurses around me. They were preparing to use the paddles on me because they were afraid my heart was going to stop. I didn't really notice how quiet everything was while I was out of my body until I woke up. But as soon as I was back in my body, it was like a flood of sensory information. Everything seemed a lot louder and harsher.
Date NDE Occurred: 1997
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Illness Septicemia 'Life threatening event, but not clinical death' . I was in the hospital with undiagnosed meningococcal septicemia. I was in excruciating physical pain and was I sedated most of the time until my heart rate and blood pressure dropped and they reduced the medication.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Mixed
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I clearly left my body and existed outside it
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal As soon as I left my body I was completely aware of what was happening but felt detached like what was happening to my physical body didn't matter anymore. I felt free. I was mainly happy that I wasn't in pain anymore.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? As soon as I left my body I was completely aware of what was happening but felt detached like what was happening to my physical body didn't matter anymore. I felt free. I was mainly happy that I wasn't in pain anymore.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning It felt like I was out of my body for at least fifteen minutes or more but it was actually only about three minutes that I was in distress.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Did your vision differ in any way from normal? I didn't pay attention to the people behind me but although it was nighttime I could see everything outside clearly. The trees in the park next to the hospital were glowing individually like they each had their own halo.
Did your hearing differ in any way from normal? I felt like if I focused on something that I could pinpoint the source but if I didn't pay attention to something it would face away into silence.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? No
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Content, but I felt like it wasn't my time and there were things that I felt like I had to finish or I wouldn't be able to be at peace and enjoy my freedom.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? Happiness
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control I felt like I already had the knowledge that I needed to live the life that I wanted but I knew that I wasn't doing what I was supposed to do. I felt like I had wasted the time that I already had and wanted to go back to make my life the way that I knew it should be. I regretted some things about my life and didn't want to leave with them the way they were.
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What was your religion prior to your experience? Liberal
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I was raised fundamentalist Christian but was taught that there is no heaven or hell. We were taught that when you die that your consciousness dies with your body and that you are no more. Since this happened I believe that religion is good for people who need guidance and structure and who don't believe in the power within themselves but that it is basically unnecessary and is more of a social control mechanism. My current beliefs are a mixture of animism, Buddhism, Hinduism and Native American beliefs but they are all based on direct experience or conclusions that I have reached after much study, not on faith.
What is your religion now? Liberal
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I was raised fundamentalist Christian but was taught that there is no heaven or hell. We were taught that when you die that your consciousness dies with your body and that you are no more. Since this happened I believe that religion is good for people who need guidance and structure and who don't believe in the power within themselves but that it is basically unnecessary and is more of a social control mechanism. My current beliefs are a mixture of animism, Buddhism, Hinduism and Native American beliefs but they are all based on direct experience or conclusions that I have reached after much study, not on faith.
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes I felt like some of the things in my dreams were true. I had the feeling that the same way that I propel myself and fly in my dreams would be the same way that I would move while out of my body. I was afraid to try though because I didn't want to get lost.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? No
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? I was thankful that I had a choice and that my body wasn't permanently damaged by what happened to me. I think that it would have been much harder and more mentally painful to decide to come back to my body if I had been in a catastrophic accident or if I knew that my body was so damaged that I would have a difficult life.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I told some people about it right away. They didn't believe me and said it was probably a hallucination. Some other people that I have talked to said that it helped them understand me and why I am not afraid of life or failure.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real. I lucid dream and I have also done psychedelics so I can differentiate between meditative states, dreaming, and hallucinating. During dreaming and hallucinating, I feel like I have some control but sometimes I have to use a lot of effort to control what I experience. When I left my body, I was completely aware of everything that was happening to me but I had no feeling of control or that I could manipulate the situation in any way. It was just happening and I was observing.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real. I think that our consciousness controls the molecules of our body but until we understand how the mind works and how trillions of molecules cooperate to perform the tasks that our subconscious gives them that we probably won't understand how things like this happen either.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No