Experience Description

I was around seventeen years old when the accident happened. I was with my two sisters and a male friend who was driving a Maserati. I happened to sit on the passenger's seat that night, while my sisters were in the back seat. We were driving back from a nightclub. It was around two in the morning. Another car was speeding and that shocked my friend, so he swerved the car. The car lost control and finally hit a big tree. When the car made a sudden stop, smoke was coming from the front of the car. I saw the guy next to me was unconscious. I tried calling my sister's name. Even though I thought that I was screaming, after a few seconds I realized there was no sound coming out from my mouth. I tried to look back and think. I had to get us home before our parents found out. After a while, I heard both of my sisters mumbling. I thought 'I really have to move quickly before the car blows up.' With the strength I had left, I forced open the door and tried to move the seat forward and pull my sisters out one by one. When we were all out, a few cars pulled over to help. One person gave up her taxi so we could get to the hospital as quickly as possible. I realized that only one of my sisters was in the cab with me, while my youngest sister was still at the accident site. I was told by Pam (the sister with me), that she would make it to the hospital by another taxi. Our taxi driver took us to the hospital.

I kept talking to Pam and saying that we've got to go home, and we've got to get Feby (my other sister) and just go home. I didn't realize that there was a big hole on my right eyebrow. The moment we arrived, the nurses were rushing us to the emergency room. I couldn't understand why they were so rushed. I didn't feel any pain, and I assumed that Pam was ok, just with some bruises. Until a nurse asked me what was my name. I remember that I wasn't able to say my name. But I kept asking for Pam, and I had the urge to be with her. She was in the other room. I wasn't allowed to be with her. As the nurse kept asking me repeatedly for my name, I remember asking her to get my boyfriend. Again, when she asked me for his name and his number, I knew and remembered his name, but I couldn't say his name and his phone number. I was wondering what was wrong with me. The next thing I heard was one of the male nurses telling me to get on the wheel chair. I said no to him, not until I see Pam. He took me to see my sister, and I remember grabbing her hand and begged her to tell everybody and we're fine and we need to go home. Pam said to me that we can't since there's a hole on my forehead. That was the moment that I suddenly felt really tired and cold. I heard the nurses talking to each other and they said that they really have to rush me in because I was losing blood. I couldn't understand at all, because I didn't feel that there was anything wrong with me. Anyway, after seeing Pam, I felt slightly relieved. The nurse pulled me on my wheel chair, and we entered the theater room. They helped to move me to the bed and I could feel the bed was cold. I felt even colder and started shivering. I remember the nurse asked if I was cold and I nodded my head. Then a doctor came in and he talked me and asked a few questions, which I don't recall. Finally, the doctor told me to count from one to ten, so I did.

I knew I was falling asleep. My head was spinning and my eyes were getting heavier and heavier, but I told myself that I should stay awake no matter what. To witness what the doctor was going to do to my face. I stopped counting at three. That was the moment when I felt gradually that everything seemed so light. I was thinking that it was so weird that I was able to feel my toes. I thought I had to make sure that the doctor knew what he was doing, because I didn't want to feel any needles that he may use or any pain he may cause. I pulled my head up a little and saw my toes. I thought it was weird that the doctors and nurses weren't stopping me from moving. Suddenly I was floating. I remember feeling a sensation that was incredibly light, as if I had no weight whatsoever. As if there was a gust of wind that carried me and I was flying slowly. I sat on one of the cupboards inside the theater room. I remember thinking, 'this must be death. How come it is totally different than what most people have talked about?' I saw my own body. The doctor and nurses were busy doing everything they were doing. I turned my head to my left side, and there was a wall, but I knew something was coming. The next thing I knew, there was a star that came down through the ceiling and stopped just next to my left leg. As if I didn't have any control of my body, I floated up to sit on that star. I was facing my body, the bed, and the people around my body. I saw my sister was in the other room. Doctors were helping her broken arm. I thought, 'this is it. It is my time.' I couldn't feel any sadness, worry, or fear. I thought of my mom, dad, siblings, friends, and thought, 'they'll be fine without me.' The feeling of joy was beyond the word itself. It was overwhelming. The feeling was love, totally unconditional love that I've never felt before. The total feeling of acceptance and I merged into that vortex of love. It felt like I was coming home. I was relieved. There was no burden. I was safe. I was at ease. Everything was so perfect in that realm. I remember thinking, 'this is so much better than living as a person on earth. I wouldn't want to go back there!' This is where I belong and I love this feeling. I promised myself that I wouldn't want to come back. The star slowly moved up and I saw the whole hospital in a second. I was looking down to see the whole of Singapore, full of lights in the dark of the universe. I was being driven by this star and moving above and further. I was the whole entire planet and the sun and the moon. Next, I saw the entire galaxy. I was still feeling so calm, relieved, relaxed, and joyful during this ride. Also, I remember thinking this was so much better than a roller coaster ride. I used to feel afraid of heights, but I didn't feel that anymore.

After a while, I was mesmerized with the beauty of our galaxy. It was so colorful and bright. I looked around me. I didn't see anybody at all, but I heard a voice. The voice was a soft, soothing voice that said that it is not my time to come home yet. I argued with that voice, saying that there's no way anybody could bring me back to the planet earth. I wanted to stay. But that soothing voice kept saying, 'it is not your time, go and have fun. Go and have fun. Go and have fun.' I wasn't sure if it was a male or female voice at that point. I grabbed the star to make sure that no one could move me. As soon as I grabbed it, I felt like I was being sucked down. I saw the galaxy, the stars, and lights in a fast moving speed, as the earth was getting closer. I saw the island of Singapore and the roof of the hospital and went through the ceilings. I was being sucked into my body again. I felt the jolt as I entered my body. The next thing I heard was the nurse trying to wake me up, shaking my body and squeezing both of my big toes. I slowly opened up my eyes. I knew what just happened was not a dream. I have been keeping this story to myself, because I don't think people would believe me. I'd never heard of a near death experience until Anita Moorjani's story. What she described in the book was real. I was there to witness, what people called 'the unconditional love'.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: August 1994

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Uncertain Accident. Life threatening event, but not clinical death

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant

The experience included: Out of body experience

Did you feel separated from your body? No I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal I was only seventeen. My level of consciousness and alertness was pretty low at that time.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? During the time when I had just left the body, starting when I sat on the cupboard.

Were your thoughts speeded up? Faster than usual

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning

Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. My vision was crystal clear during the experience. This despite the blood that was covering my eyes, I was having some eye sight problem before the accident.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Everything was clear. I could hear the mice somewhere in the hospital. I could hear people talking from the other rooms. It didn't compare with normal every day hearing.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? No

Did you see an unearthly light? No

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No

What emotions did you feel during the experience? I felt so much joy. I was fearless, calm, at ease and at peace. Very peaceful.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

The experience included: Special knowledge or purpose

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will I don't think I made the decision to come back. It was that voice that kept saying that it was not my time yet. It told me to go and have fun.

God, Spiritual and Religion:


What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Moderately important to me

What was your religion prior to your experience? Do not know I grew up with different religious background, went to Catholic school since kindergarten until high school. My parents are buddhist. A few of uncles and aunties were christian, and as well as moslems.

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I don't have any particular belief except that what the heart tells you is good. You can't go wrong with that. Every 'mistake' is actually the path you need to take to get to wherever you need to be. It is part of our journey. There is no mistake in living this life.

What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Not important to me

What is your religion now? Other faiths- New age I never felt that i would fit in in any type of religion. I call my own religion 'kindness'

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience I always felt that i was different since i was very little. Never able to fit in into any category of people around me. Never really believed in whatever my parents had said about religion, teachers, any story books, bibles, monks, nuns, priests. I always felt that something was greater that those stories and i proved myself right during the experience. I felt really big, my soul is bigger than my body.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I believe now that religion can be dangerous. It can mislead people. People are being told to be afraid of God. In fact, God is in all of us. God dwells in me. As me. Each one of us are God. We carry with each one of us the goodness and essence of God. And because of the education of religions and society, people are afraid of everything. We should really just listen to our inner calling. That calling to be closer to oneself.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I heard a voice I could not identify

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? Uncertain An awareness that I was one with everything, so i could pretty much choose what i want to be or who i would like to become, be it a person or a leaf.

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? No

Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? God probably does not exist

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? No

Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God does not exist

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:


During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are not meaningful and significant

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes To just go and have fun, i guess that was the only message. My purpose is to just have fun.

Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? An afterlife probably exists

Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists Uncertain It was more like an awareness that no matter where i live or go, i am one with the universe. The life on earth was like a playground for people to play and interact then go home when it is time.

Did you fear death prior to your experience? I slightly feared death

Do you fear death after your experience? I do not fear death

Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Slightly fearful in living my earthly life

Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are not meaningful and significant

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are probably meaningful and significant

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Slightly compassionate toward others

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes It was all about Love, the feeling that i encountered, the sensation, i could breathe easily.. like love. In a way, the universe was showing me that i was given the entire planet to enjoy because i was worthy. I deserved everything that are available on

Were you compassionate after your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Moderate changes in my life I easily embrace any challenges that happened. I often feel that the answers to my questions will come to me in different ways. My hearing is my best bet. I am able to sense other's feelings or trouble through my hearing. I am able to sense even if my daughters are about to fall sick. I can sense it strongly. I am able to understand what people are saying, even though they are using their words, and the meaning that they're trying to get across is misleading.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Uncertain Uncertain

After the NDE:


Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes I had never heard of any stories like this before. I wasn't sure what to say or how to explain it in words.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience as accurately as other life events that occurred around the time of the experience I guess i have a very good brain, i remember most events even since i was 3 years old. I could name places, persons, events, sometimes down to dates and described situation. But the experience i've had after the accident was vivid. I could still even remember the smell of my sister's hair that night.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I am very sensitive to other people's problems. It's hard to describe.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I shared it with my mom and sisters, but they thought I was hallucinating and talking rubbish. I mentioned it to them a couple weeks after the accident.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No