In 1988 I was diagnosed with Primary sclerosing cholangitis (a chronic liver disease) and given three to five years to live, or get a liver transplant. I went through many years of chronic tiredness, low energy, and bad health. On Memorial Day, 1992, I suddenly developed a fever of one hundred and four to one hundred and six degrees. It would come and go, but finally on that Wednesday, I checked into the hospital for treatment, not expecting to leave. My liver enzymes were five times normal, my skin was so sensitive, that I had to be in a dark room. My skin would burn when the lights were turned on. My eyes and ears were super-sensitive, like with a hangover. I was no stranger to spiritual-world contact, as I had spent the previous two years attending the Berkeley Psychic Center classes, and had become a pretty good hands-on healer. My body literally hurt all over, like I had a third degree sunburn. I wanted out of this body, and fast.
On Friday, I discovered a hardening of the deep skin on my buttocks. They diagnosed this as some sort of infection and scheduled surgery for Saturday morning. That Friday night, I had the NDE. I wanted to be out of this body, not only because of the constant pain, but my personal life was messed up with a divorce, a sour relationship with a cheating girlfriend, and a business that was essentially bankrupt. I found myself wishing to die. Suddenly, I was in a very dark, seemingly airless place, there was no sensation of hot or cold, gravity, or sound. There was an overwhelming feeling of Love (this last sentence was very hard to write). I then became aware of parts of my past life, but not the parts you would normally think of. For instance:
I found myself in my fifth grade classroom talking to a fellow student and other very ordinary and uneventful parts of my life. I then found myself in the company of several (perhaps three) spirits, with whom I then had a telepathic conversation. I exclaimed something like 'Good, I'm here, I made it.' The spirits then informed me that I would not be staying, but proceeded to give me several deep insights into my then current life, almost like a psychic reading. I did not go down the tunnel, but I saw the outside of it in the near distance. I saw a tube projecting up at about a forty-five degree angle, much like a pipe in the ground. Above it, approx. two diameters away, were two very bright white lights. These lights pivoted towards a 'target soul' ascending the tunnel, and paused for a few seconds while the soul entered the light. The light would then pivot like a searchlight towards another soul and pause again while the soul entered the light. Both lights were identical and moved similarly, but independently. I knew that those were souls entering the light. I remarked to the spirits near me that I wanted to go there, but I was rebuffed and told that it was not my time yet. They further told me that I had agreed to perform certain deeds in this life, many of which were still undone. I then found myself back in my wreck of a body.
I was very depressed after that. In the morning, I had surgery that removed a coke-can sized pocket of staph pus out of my 'gluteus maximus' and replaced it with about fifty feet of gauze packing. I left the hospital two days later, after all the fun of removing that packing. My liver disease has not bothered me since, a cure that I attribute to my psychic classes and classmates. In the two weeks that followed, I had several group healings to remove the residual drug energy from my system and to heal my liver.
Date NDE Occurred: 1992
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes
See main narrative.
Did you feel separated from your body? No I don't think that I felt the actual separation. I just remember finding myself there.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? Unknown. I was drifting in and out of sleep for two days, after all, I was very sick and in the hospital.
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? No
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. No sounds at all.
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Uncertain I did not pass through it, but I saw it from the outside and watched many other souls entering the light.
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes Three or so spirits. They seemed familiar, but I do not know their names or our karma.
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes Two lights in fact, see story above.
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm A very dark, and airless expanse, there was no sensation or gravity or temperature.
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Love times ten thousand. Regret upon return, loneliness.
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe I felt that I had a deep understanding, but upon returning, the specific knowledge was gone, replaced by a memory of having that knowledge.
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control But seemingly unimportant events, such as a normal day in the fifth grade classroom, riding in a car at age twelve or so, watching TV as a teenager, etc. No experience of important events or life changing experiences at all.
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future Somewhat. I was made aware that there were things that I had contracted to do, that were still undone.
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will Not really a discussion, as I was told that I was not staying -- period.
God, Spiritual and Religion:
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes No fear of death, large fear of being hurt or feeling pain though. Confirmation to me of reincarnation and contract-incarnation (we pick our lives).
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes Emotional feelings on the other side, still today I find it impossible to describe, and I get a 'ready-to-cry' feeling just thinking about it.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No But prior to the NDE I had explored and learned about psychic healing and meditation, mainly as a way to deal with my liver disease and my upcoming early demise, after all I had been given three to five years to live four years earlier.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Best was the emotional high of the extreme LOVE on the other side. Worst is being separated from it.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Shared it with my psychic classmates then.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I have never heard of anyone else having an NDE where they saw the tunnel from the outside, and where they saw more than one light. I also never heard of anyone seeing others go into the light(s).