I was driving east on the Simi Valley freeway towards Simi from Moorpark California. The traffic was fast paced but began to slow. I was in the inside lane of a two lane highway. There was no center divider, just a large stretch of land between the two directions of traffic. The cars in front of me began to slow. I stepped on my brakes slowly to a near stop. I looked in the rear view mirror and the car behind me seemed to be ten to fifteen car lengths behind me and not slowing. I couldn't turn to the left because I was too close to the car in front of me. I looked back in the mirror and the car was gone. I looked immediately to my left, out my rear passenger window to see the headlights of the car behind me. The lights were shining in my rear passenger window. That was the last thing I remember.
I then was above my car in euphoria. Everything was beautiful, the sun was out, I was smiling and felt warm and joyful. I looked at my car and could see it veering to the other side of the freeway as there was no divider. It was headed into the west bound lanes. I saw the car that hit me behind my car and it had stopped. The driver had gotten out and was looking at his front bumper. I looked again at my car traveling to the other side of the freeway. I puzzled why it was moving.
Suddenly a man's voice in my right ear stated, 'If you don't go back, someone will die.' I remember not wanting that to happen. I woke up with my hands on the steering wheel and trying to gain control of the car and trying to turn it away from the oncoming traffic. I eventually came to a stop. I didn't know what had happened until the driver from the car that hit me came to the passenger side of the car and asked if I was okay. I then realized that the window was broken and the passenger side of the door was dented into the middle of the passenger side of the seat. He kept asking if I was okay. I finally said no. The ambulance came and took me to the hospital. When I said that I had a doctor not in Simi Valley but in Westlake village, the hospital released me and told me to go see my doctor in two days.
I went home and slept for two days. I don't remember anything but being awakened to be taken to the doctor by my husband. The doctor told me that I should have come to him the first day. I had a very serious concussion and could have gone into a coma. I struggled to come out of the injuries and to understand the experience of the much desired euphoria that I experienced. Wanting to have that experience, I was hospitalized four times for attempted suicide due to the massive doses of medications I was given for first depression, then anxiety, then panic attacks, then PTSD and many other diagnosis and multiple medications until I could not handle my situation and longed for the euphoria.
I am now leading an active life and every day that I wake up I say, 'If I wake up, God is not done with me.' I am searching for a purpose in life. There has to be a reason that a man whispered in my life that someone would die. If he had said that it would be me that died, at that time in my life I would have embraced that happily. Even now, trying to make a life until God is ready for me is a struggle, but I struggle looking forward to the day I can once again experience the euphoria of life after death. There is nothing like it and I want to search for how to get it in this life.
Date NDE Occurred: 'Oct. 2, 1999'
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes AccidentDirect head injury 'head, neck and back injury' Life threatening event, but not clinical death 'Auto Accident, unconscious. Out of body experience'
Severe critical auto accident.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Wonderful
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes
I clearly left my body and existed outside it
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal As above.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? When I was above my car watching the cars and the freeway with cars slowing to look at my car.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
Slow motion. It seemed that I was in slow motion, and the cars were in slow motion. My thoughts in slow motion, my return to the car slow motion. No sense of urgency. Just calm and all the time in the world to stop the car.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Clearer, understanding what was happening and being joyous to escape my body.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. The sounds of the traffic were muffled, but the sound of the man was so clear I could almost feel his breath on the side of my face. As if he was talking right into my ear, so I would hear him better. Close while the traffic was not important.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes I half-way left my car. My body was stuck in the middle. My feet were in the car but my waist up was outside of the car. I was not confined. I could turn around to see in every direction. I felt I could have gone further out but it happened so quickly I had not time. I had to get back into my car before it hit someone and killed them.
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes Only the voice of a man, close to my ear with a charming caring voice. I can still hear him talking to me.
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? No
The experience included: A landscape or city
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Joy and peace. Like a weight had lifted from me. Everything was in its place and right action was happening. I was disappointed that I had to go back to save a life.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
The experience included: Special Knowledge
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future
The experience included: Boundary
Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes I floated up and half-way out of my car. On the roof of my car, I could turn around and see in every direction. I had no urgency to either go all the way out or to return.
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What was your religion prior to your experience? Moderate 'raised Catholic, survived the guilt, I now consider myself a Christian'
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes All religions have been structured by man. Man makes mistakes. Things in the universe are being revealed as society can handle the new information. Old churches are less likely to accept new ideas. The man who discovered the earth was round was declared a heretic according to the church. Even the Bible states that not all will hear or see until they are ready to believe.
What is your religion now? Liberal
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes All religions have been structured by man. Man makes mistakes. Things in the universe are being revealed as society can handle the new information. Old churches are less likely to accept new ideas. The man who discovered the earth was round was declared a heretic according to the church. Even the Bible states that not all will hear or see until they are ready to believe.
The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes I was told that someone would die if I didn't go back.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I am more loving, forgiving, understanding, less critical, less judgmental, less prideful, and more humble in my approach to life.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes It has been difficult to trust someone that has not had the experience to believe that it really happened, and not think you are a nut case.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Uncertain I seem to be more intuitive and understanding other's reactions to situations. I am able to separate myself from what is happening to me.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The peace and tranquility that I felt will always be with me. I can often try to remember the feelings but cherished it when it happened in 1989.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes At first I tried to ask doctors about this experience with little understanding. I could not tell my husband and it has just been the past six months that I told a friend about it and told her I needed to talk about it but didn't know who to talk to. I can get rid of the need to feel the euphoria again.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes In 1988 or 1989, I had had an accident in my office and had broken my rib end off, a floating rib. There was a great deal of pain and I remember going to bed after it happened and having much pain. I found myself looking down from the ceiling corner at me lying on the bed not moving. I hadn't gotten into bed, but collapsed on the bed and was lying on my back across the bed. I remember not wanting to deal with the pain and feeling sorry for the body lying there. When my husband came into the room, he shook me to tell me to get into bed and I went back after I watched him shake me awake. I was in the corner then I was in my body looking at him.
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real I was frightened of it. Didn't understand it like I did the second time. I had considered the first experience as a wakeup call for the second experience. I was almost thankful that the second occurrence happened. I waited for it and okay, here it is again. How wonderful.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real I have struggled with the reality of life after death, reincarnation, the soul living on in another dimension most of my life. These and other occurrences in my life has confirmed realities different from life on earth, as we know it. Being raised Catholic, we can't question, things are what they are and if the Catholic church doesn't teach it, it doesn't exist. I survived that, am open to all experiences, and embrace them. Illusions are not of my real life.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes My son died in 1996 and without these other events I would not have been able to contact him as I did. He told me many things that were happening to him in the days after his death. Things that I didn't know or how the afterlife worked or what would happen. He cleared a lot of doubts about that for me.
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I know I experienced exactly what I did related to you. Please don't discount others. When little children have invisible friends, they may be angels, guides or teachers that have followed them into this life. Encourage children to talk about these people without telling them they are not real. The man who whispered into my ear is as real today as he was when he was with me above my car.
Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? Possible question: Have you had other encounters with past relatives or friends or others through dreams or awake encounters before or after the near death experience?