I had been ill with the flu for about five weeks, was at home on sick leave from work, and was in bed. It was mid-morning. I woke up realizing that I was much worse, much more ill, and so weak I could hardly sit up. It was difficult to breathe, and I feared my flu had progressed into pneumonia, which I had experienced several times before. The phone was too far away to reach, so I propped myself up on pillows and tried to decide what to do. As I lay there I began to feel like I was fading away, and I didn't really care, in fact was relieved. I had been depressed for several months; problems had seemed so huge that I had no real desire to go on.
I closed my eyes and just let go, and felt myself sinking down into a comforting fog. And then I realized that the lights in the darkened room were suddenly very bright! I opened my eyes and saw that I was enclosed in a tube of brilliant, golden, vibrating, living light. I was so astonished, especially when I began to levitate upwards into this light tube (tunnel?), and felt released from the physical discomfort of my sick body. There was a growing sound, a wind like sound, which swelled into music like I had never heard. It wasn't exactly organ music, but like something created by synthesizer, a blend of water and wind and flutes, swelling and surrounding me and causing me to weep with emotions stronger than I had ever before felt.
Mixed with the music was singing, ethereal voices, not really human, a choir of beautiful liquid voices, the melodies reminiscent of the music I have heard in Jewish temples, or maybe Isr'li music -- very haunting. I became aware of an amazing Presence, which I felt was God-like, and it overwhelmed everything else. As I neared this Presence, I began to think about my life, everything I had wanted to accomplish. What I had done, good and bad, but especially the people I loved, my family, certain friends. I suddenly wanted more than anything to go back to them and tell them, show them, how very much I did love them, much more than I had ever realized. As I felt these things, I suddenly was 'plugged in' to God, and this is no exaggeration. I KNEW, on the deepest possible level, that I had never been really connected to God before this. I had been devout in my belief, spiritual, daily prayed and so on, but I had not been totally connected. In one blinding second, I was.
His love was so incredible, so overwhelming, that I was beyond feeling anything except profound gratitude, to be given the opportunity to experience this moment. I was shaking and vibrating like a tuning fork, and the radiant energy that suffused my being was beyond description. After a short while, I felt myself enclosed in what I thought were arms or wings, and I realized I was back in my bed, with the light fading away to just the darkened room. I was still sobbing, too emotionally spent to move. My recovery from that time on was remarkable. I was weak, but well over the flu. It took me a while to put this all together, sort it all out and then I couldn't stop talking about it. I must have bored everyone to death, because I wrote and phoned and was obsessed with the experience for several years.
Date NDE Occurred: May 5, 1994
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes
The flu I had was both respiratory and intestinal, with vomiting, diarrhea, and severe bronchitis. I was very dehydrated, weak, and breathing was becoming difficult. I was very weak and felt near death.
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes This is a qualified 'yes', since I did not look down at myself, just felt myself floating up into the light tunnel.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? It felt like I was in an altered state, but lucid and aware of everything going on.
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
This is the only part that is difficult to describe. I have had, since childhood, experiences with what most people call extraterrestrials or extra-dimensionals, so my sense of being in an altered state, or in another dimensional plane is fairly experienced. I can sense when I am moving through a dimensional barrier, so to speak. When I was suspended in or moving through this tube of light, it felt like I was not in the third-dimension vibrational level. There is no way to express how altered it felt, as though time no longer existed, and was no longer important.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Music, a combination of wind, water, organ like, flutelike, chime like music, voices singing ethereal and haunting music.
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes Again, this is a qualified 'yes'. I traveled 'upwards' in a 'tube' of vibrating golden light.
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes I saw and sensed a volume of light that I perceived as Godlike, supreme.
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Amazement, joy, incredible love, gratitude, connection to God in the most profound way, so much it is hard to express.
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe I was given this knowledge: we are shown an overview before entering the womb, of what options we have for parents. We know what our souls need to experience, in order to learn and evolve, and we choose our pathway, via birth parents, to experience and learn those lessons. We carry with us, to some degree, karma from past incarnations, and can work this off by how we live in our present physical life. This life (here on Earth) is not the real reality, but is like a dream or an illusion. The reality is on the other side, in our spirit life, in between physical incarnations. Those that we encounter in our physical life, whom we feel drawn to, or often the souls we are most connected to on the other side, and we usually are bound to them in life after life, both in this plane and the other side. We are made of (created of) energy, which equals light, which equals love. We are therefore made out of the energy of love, and until we learn this, we cannot be happy or fulfilled in this physical life.
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control This is again qualified. I was shown, maybe by my higher-self, things I had done and left undone in my life. I felt the rightness of some actions, the wrongness of other actions. I knew my life would be based only on love from that time forward, that Life is all about learning to love one another unconditionally, and forgiveness, understanding, and abandoning the rat race to pile up material wealth. I had never felt LOVE before this, in the sense of God's love, and it changed me forever and forever. My life has done a hundred and eighty degree turn around. I am so full of gratitude for being alive! I take a daily walk, bless trees and birds and animals, and everyone I pass, and thank God for this amazing and beautiful jewel of an Earth He gave us, and that we have not appreciated, as we should. I am alive at last.
Did scenes from the future come to you? No
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will I was suddenly aware of definitely wanting to live, to go back, and to live differently, giving everyone all of the love in my heart. I no longer felt depressed, knew I had a lot to live for, and wanted the chance to do that. I know that my decision was what caused the return to my body, which was healed by the experience.
God, Spiritual and Religion:
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes My whole belief system changed. I am just not the same person. I was depressed, pessimistic, and hopeless. I am now full of joy, meditate to be in full contact with God, my life is happy, I paint more successfully than ever before, I am inspired, I have found the right friends, companions, my life is based on love.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? No
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I had been psychic from birth, and the E.T. experiences enhanced that, but after my 1994 experience, those faculties were more than doubled. I became telepathic with some people, had numerous visions concerning Earth changes, the future, and can interact with spirits, as in sΘances. I am clairvoyant, clairaudient, and clairsentient. By profession I am an artist, both graphic and fine arts and illustrating. I now do spirit portraits for people, and portraits of other dimensional beings. I can go into trance state to do these depictions. My spirit guides often give me scientific information far beyond my normal scope of knowledge, which I pass on to friends who are more able to use this information. More than doubled. I became telepathic with many people, can interact with spirits, am clairaudient, clairvoyant, clairsentient, and can do portraits of spirits for people.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? There was no worst part -- I guess you could say that the worst part was not being able to stay in God's presence. Disconnection, or going back, was the only worst part, and I chose that. The best part was experiencing it, being plugged in; being awakened to what life is really all about. And the way I, and my life changed, that was wonderful!
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Most of the people I chose to tell were close friends or family, and they believed me, since they saw the dramatic change in me, in so many ways. I don't know if they were influenced, if so I was not aware of it.
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I do not mind if you use this material, but do not identify me by name. Please use the pseudonym 'Martine', because that name is special to me for personal reasons.