Experience Description

My personal experience was back in July 2009. It was a warm evening. I was not particularly feeling ill just perhaps exhausted and so I said I would go to bed early. I had had a quiet day playing with my children at the park. There was nothing out of the ordinary or eventful had happened. I was feeling very relaxed and calm, as I lay down in my bed that I shared with my wife and went to sleep.

I woke up feeling really great in the night and despite seeing the dark outside the windows it didn't seem dark or cold as you would expect in the middle of the night. In fact everything in the room including the rolled up socks on the dressing table looked clean and bright like everything had its own light coming from it which I didn't even find curious. I was so blissfully peaceful; I just didn't really pay attention to it. I sat up in bed, placed my left hand down, and noticed something was on the bed beside me.

As I looked at the object, I recognized my scar on my left hand and realized that even though I was leaning on my left hand a second one was next to it. So I casually (yes, casually) shuffled around in the bed, as I knew what was coming. My first thought, I remember clearly on seeing my still dead body lying on the bed, eyes closed and not breathing: 'Oh he's dead'. Notice I said, 'He's dead', so I had already separated the biological form laying on the bed and true self/spirit.

The feelings I experienced at this moment in my life or death for a long time I found very hard to express to anyone, even my wife. It was as though I was in the biggest stadium in the world and the audience surrounded me, stretched into infinity, and sent nothing but love, peace, contentment or absolute oneness towards me. I often describe it as though they wanted me wrapped in cotton then wrapped in bubble wrap, so I couldn't even stub a toe to harm myself. The impression I received was that the 'many' make up the 'one' and the 'one' is within the 'many' and is every-where and every-when all at once.

I was not afraid in anyway, in fact, I can't even imagine what a negative or afraid feeling was in that place, and they were an alien concept. All this was happening while still in my bedroom surrounded by my family. My son was in a single bed as he had the flu and our daughter was cuddled up to her Mum in between us, big wardrobes and a dresser covered in fresh folded laundry. No angels, no choirs, no judgment, in fact just a feeling of overwhelming love beyond human comprehension. A feeling, as I say, of being one tiny person that is part of many, which make up a whole. Yet, I was just as loved and as important as everyone else. It's really hard to explain so I will try later in more detail.

Being an inquisitive person, an idea began to develop in my head. Having abilities that were strange all my life and being a veteran paranormal investigator (not by choice, I assure you) I remember thinking I need to prove this logically; then figure how to get back in that body to tell my wife what I have experienced. I sat for what seemed a microsecond, yet in that time, I could think so clearly. I figured the wall next to me would be cold and so tactile contact was a good place to start. So I placed my head against it and behold, the painted wall was hard and cold on my face. I remember thinking, 'Okay that's cool,' pardon the pun. I then remembered there was a radio that we leave on downstairs for the dog, that's barely a whisper. Sure enough, I seemed to be standing next to it listening to the BBC World Service presenter talk about something or another. I saw by the LCD display clock, that the news was due to start and decided to try to remember as much as I could, and then try to get back in the body upstairs.

I must reiterate at this point that there were NO feelings that were negative in anyway. I am not sure, while in that state, I could have even conceived what a negative thought was; it was an alien concept, whereas this was peace, bliss and contentment, as if I had never known in this life. I love my wife, children and family with all my heart but this plane of existence was different. We don't even have a name for the feeling I experienced in human terms. I remembered key words and phrases, which I felt was important and as the news ended I thought, 'How do I get back to my body?' Without knowing how, I was already sitting back where I had started.

It was then I noticed I had arms and legs; upon looking back, makes me think that maybe I saw them, as they had been there for thirty years, and like Kirlian photography maybe my spirit/essence had just painted them in naturally, because I was used to this form.

Although I experienced verbally or what we call in human terms telepathy, I was given a decision. The choice was simple; I could stay where I was 'one part of many which form the one' or return to my body and complete my journey. It was completely free will and again I experienced nothing but peace, bliss and love. I know I keep saying it, but I cannot emphasize enough this feeling, which while writing this is making me cry because it feels as if I am missing a big part of me, which will only return when I leave this body. Anyway, at this point my daughter moved and I saw her little face. Looking over, I saw my wife and son and it was as if my decision was made without conscious thought: I had to be a husband and father, they needed me. The feeling I had was 'I could return as the provider'. I forgave myself and just gave myself a chance, without being so hard on myself and angry about bereavement or illness.

I suddenly felt as if there were three streams of information I was processing. Sounds odd, but if you 'imagine' screens showing the past, now, the future and everything you had ever done or not done, will do or won't do and say and the results of each action and spoken word in a microsecond. The ultimate fast forward life-reel but this was all felt as opposed to seen. It's very hard to explain.

It was at this point, I am 100% certain, I heard a voice just like that of my Grandfather who died when I was three and who I was very close to. He said, 'There you go, boy, have another go.' For some reason, I am always left with the image of a chalkboard being rubbed out and a scroll given to me, yet these things I did not see, it was more as if I felt the intention. Feeling watched by this blissful infinity that make up the 'one', I then figured if I laid down in my body, surely, because there is blood and fluid in there, (gross as it sounds), I figured I should stick if I laid down and I even remember screwing my nose up as if going under water (silly huh?).

It was warm and dark as I laid down into my body, which reminded me of a suit of armor, although why, I am still at a loss to explain, unless it was because it was empty without the occupant? For some reason, I started to vibrate; it's hard to explain. It felt as though an electrical current was going through my very essence. There was the strangest sound like popping candy and I took an almighty breath as if I have never taken before. My whole body ached, it was as if I had been thrown from a helicopter and did a free-fall, forgetting a parachute and landing on my chest. I lay still for what seemed an eternity: so peaceful and trying to take it all in what had just happened, before rolling on my side and sitting up slowly.

I woke up my wife, who turned on the light. I explained what had happened to me, to which she simply listened and hugged me, for which I love her even more. We then decided to go downstairs and turned the radio alarm clock up to confirm what I had remembered. It was nearly time for the news and I quickly wrote down all I could remember. Sure enough, again and again, one after another we ticked what I had written down as the news reporter read out the headlines, which amounted to being 100% correct. Feeling very achy and sore, my wife made me a strong cup of tea, listened to my heart, and checked my blood pressure and vital signs, which were all perfect. I decided I didn't want to go to hospital and that I would sit up for a bit, as I felt very peaceful, yet dazed. I thought this would be the ideal solution, so put the TV on and curled up on the sofa and gradually drifted off to sleep. Next morning, after a visit to the hospital with the hospital consultant confirming what had occurred with tests and the reason more than likely being sleep apnea (details of which for legal reasons I am not allowed to include here).

Background Information:

Gender: Male

Date NDE Occurred: 21/06/2009

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Uncertain Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function or brain function)

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant

The experience included: Out of body experience

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal All of it: Everything was pure clarity and I had no fear or any negative emotions, just peace and absolute love.

Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Time seemed to go faster or slower than usual

Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Crystal clear and everything seemed clean and had its own glow or light.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Chalk and cheese

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, but the facts have not been checked out

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

The experience included: Presence of deceased persons

Did you see any beings in your experience? I sensed their presence

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Uncertain The voice I felt or thought.

The experience included: Unearthly light

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes Everything had its own glow or light: hard to explain but still seems normal.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No

What emotions did you feel during the experience? We don't have a word for it, beyond peace and bliss, serenity maybe?

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

The experience included: Special knowledge or purpose

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe

The experience included: Life review

Did scenes from your past come back to you? I remembered many past events

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

The experience included: Boundary

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? No

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Slightly important to me

What was your religion prior to your experience? Other or several faiths Spiritual

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes

What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Greatly important to me

What is your religion now? Other or several faiths Spiritual

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes

The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin The 'many' make up the 'one'.

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I sensed their presence

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? Uncertain

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes

Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? I was uncertain if God exists

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Uncertain

Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God definitely exists

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes See statement

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Unknown

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Uncertain See statement

Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? An afterlife definitely exists

Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists Yes See statement

Did you fear death prior to your experience? I greatly feared death

Do you fear death after your experience? I slightly fear death

Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Moderately fearful in living my earthly life

Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Unknown

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are meaningful and significant

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Yes See statement

Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Not compassionate toward others

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes See statement

Were you compassionate after your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life Large changes in my life.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes Yes See statement

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? All of it.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes My wife, immediately, but others over months.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No