Experience Description

Somewhere around June, 2000 I tried to commit suicide for the third time in a row with medications. The first two times I failed, so I thought that this time I had to succeed. I was recently divorced and had to leave my home, etc. Suddenly I had nothing and being disabled no other woman wanted me. I then took sleeping pills and fell asleep. I realized something was wrong. I saw my own body. Two doctors and two paramedics were working on me. I also saw some police officers. I saw all those people in my apartment, which is very small (4m by 4m). The irony was that after years of social isolation, I never had any visitors, that space was now overcrowded.

I saw what they did and heard what was said which wasn’t very nice, 'This is not the first time, we know him.' I am manic-depressive but I can assure you that my experience had nothing to do with that. I told all those present, 'I’m fine. You don’t have to do anything.' They didn’t listen. I called, 'Hello I’m over here.' I saw everything as if I was floating near the ceiling. I became angry and called, 'Hello I’m OK doesn’t anyone hear me?' No one answered. I waved both arms but they didn’t see. It was creepy. I saw my own body and I thought, 'You have served your purpose, thank you and goodbye.'

Then, all of a sudden, I was gone from my small house and I was in a dark space or tunnel. It scared me. I felt lost and didn't know what was happening when I saw a white light in the distance. The light was whiter than white, a light we don't have here on earth. I felt I had to go to the light but I didn't know how. I was sucked towards it and once in the light I saw that the colors were much more intense than here. I saw flowers, rivers, and houses but they didn't resemble anything on earth. No, everything was perfect, beautiful, everything radiated happiness and peace, and even the music was in perfect harmony with everything. It was overwhelming and too much to put into words. I realized I was no longer in pain I was free and no longer ill.

I was free from suffering mentally (psychiatrists don’t really know how much we suffer). Then I saw someone approaching me, it was a deceased family member. He looked a lot younger and certainly not dead. We talked and then two other, veiled, figures came towards me. They had a human shape but I couldn’t see who they were, although they were familiar. I was shown the film of my life. It went so fast that a few seconds there would be maybe be a hundred years or more here. All the pieces of the puzzle fell into place. I saw past, present and future like I was that piece of the puzzle. That is the universe. I don’t remember what was said only that I was told that it wasn’t my time yet and that I had to go back because my work wasn’t done. There I knew what that work was but once I was back in my body, it was erased from my mind. I think that the two figures I couldn’t see represent my spiritual guides. After I reluctantly said goodbye I was back in my body.

Afterwards, I learned that I had been in a coma for 7 days. Later I told the doctors what they had said and what they were wearing, etc. They told me I was crazy. I know what I have experienced and I know it is the truth. I have changed because of this experience. I have never tried to kill myself again. I have become religious. I know that God exists and that He helps us when we ask for His help. I am still disabled and I have found a loving woman who is also disabled. We take good care of each other and I think that is part of the work I still have to do.

Background Information:

Gender: Male

Date NDE Occurred: Juni 2000

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Suicide attempt. Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function or brain function) I was in a coma for about a week.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Mixed

The experience included: Out of body experience

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? When I saw my life and was told that I still had work to do. Then the pieces of the puzzle fell into place about past, present and future.

Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning It was as if time didn’t exist. One second there is just like hundreds of years here on earth.

Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. It is hard to describe anything. It is as if there is no time and space, the colors are much more intense, and everything radiates much love.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. All sounds are much more intense and radiate love and peace.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes Once I was out of my body, I was sucked towards something, but before that I had to go through a black hole.

The experience included: Presence of deceased persons

Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes A deceased family member.

The experience included: Darkness

The experience included: Light

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes After this black hole I saw a beautiful intense light and was sucked towards it. It radiated divinity, peace, joy, and love.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm dit herinner ik me niet meer

The experience included: Strong emotional tone

What emotions did you feel during the experience? At first it was awkward and scary, then I was reassured and I felt free from illness. I felt love and peace.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

The experience included: Special Knowledge

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe

The experience included: Life review

Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control

The experience included: Vision of the future

Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future It had a large impact on me.

The experience included: Boundary

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes I wasn’t allowed to die, my work wasn’t done yet I had to back to earth.

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Moderate

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I was a non-believer and I became a religious Christian.

What is your religion now? Moderate CHRISTEN

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I was a non-believer and I became a religious Christian.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I ask God’s advice about a lot of things, for example which persons I should associate with.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Uncertain Even I was very surprised and who would believe me?

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? All aspects make it a special experience.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes A few days after I awoke from the coma I told 2 doctors. They thought I was crazy and didn’t believe me. Until now I have never told anyone else, only my current wife knows about it.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? You can’t make something like this happen, not even with medications.