Experience Description

As a seven or eight week old infant I almost died of sudden infant death syndrome. My mother told me that she went into the room to feed me and that I had turned blue and felt limp. She felt something heavy fly away through the room. She called my father who picked me up and patted me and told me to come back. The next thing I was crying. They kept me for observation in the hospital for some time, but I was ok after that. The memory that I have always known, and I am almost thirty five, is that of a bright light. It was like looking into the sun but not sharp to the eyes, coming from that source. There was a feeling of encouragement. To these events and feelings I have always connected my wish to do something that is of real use to other people. Growing up, I didn't have the words to describe that memory, feeling, and wish. Until recently, I have never heard people in my surroundings speak about such a thing in their lives. When my mother told me the story of what happened when I nearly died, I put one and one together and realized what had probably happened.