For eight years I had put up with my husband's infidelity (we are now divorced). He would swear that everything was in the past, but it was not true. On January 28th, I discovered he was still seeing his lover.
On February 20th my father died of a stroke.
The night of July 6, 1999, we were returning from spending the day in Huesca.
On a stretch of freeway near a village, I felt myself thrown forward violently, without knowing what was happening. After a few seconds within this impact, I began to see myself regressing to the womb. In a flash, I was shrinking and returning to the maternal belly and once there I came to a place of light. With an intense yellow light. I think it was a field, but there were no plants, just a huge yellow space. This place was pleasant, fitting, and pleasurable. I said to myself, now I am home. Love was palpable in the atmosphere. All I could feel was love, so much love. A kind of love unknown to me, which I had never felt in this way. Everything was love. I thought, ‘I want to stay here.' Suddenly, I returned to the car and realized we had had an accident. I saw that I was seated and noticed something warm under my body. I thought it would be blood, believing I had received a blow and was bleeding from my body. I was aware of it but couldn't feel any pain nor could I see what the warm wetness was. After some minutes I got out of the car, (I was barefoot without realizing it. After a while, I found out that my feet were full of glass splinters, which had to be extracted in the hospital). When the first person turned up at the scene, they had a lamp, which I took to shed light on me to see what the wetness was. I shone it on my clothes and saw that I had wet myself.
Coming back from that special place, I thought that my life as I was living it up until then, was going to be done with. I had been on the point of death and at thirty eight years of age, I had experienced nothing but damage, ill-treatment, abuse and disappointment. No more, ever, I thought. From now on, my life will change.
Several months went by, in which I attempted to give sense to my life again. I started my new life far from abuse and lies, disappointments and ill-treatment. I couldn't find the moment to initiate the change. I even thought that if I had another accident, I would be able to go back to that wonderful place full of love. I would go home.
In May of 2000, I met the man who is now my husband. My life since that moment changed, and I really began to live.
Date NDE Occurred: 06/07/1999
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? No Accident Other: Accidente de tráfico que amenazaba mi vida.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant
Did you feel separated from your body? No I didn't want to come back to my former life. I wanted to stay there forever.
I lost awareness of my body
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal My life was sad and lonely. Trapped by abuse and betrayal, it was easy to feel sorry for myself and weep over my sad fate. When I saw that wonderful yellow field, I knew that another kind of love existed. That I wanted that love in my life and was no longer willing to live as I had up till then.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? When I saw the yellow field and at the same time noticed the love, which was in the atmosphere, everything was love. I went through the regression to the womb knowing that I was returning somewhere, and when I came to the yellow field, I knew that I was home. That that place and that love, which I felt and breathed, was home.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Faster than usual
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
There was no time. It felt as if time either didn't exist or had stopped.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I didn't notice a change in my hearing. Everything that happened I saw and felt but internally. I recall no sounds.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, but the facts have not been checked out
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No
Did you see any beings in your experience? No
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No
The experience included: Unearthly light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes An intense yellow brilliance. Pacifying, and pleasant. It was a field of yellow light, filling everything, invading everything. The yellow color and love were both one.
The experience included: A landscape or city
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm It was the most wonderful place imaginable. A place bathed in the color yellow which was full of love, in calm and in peace. It was home.
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? Happiness
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
The experience included: Special knowledge or purpose
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about myself or others I understood that my life could not continue as it had, empty and sad, without love. I promised myself that it would change, and that from then on I would change my way of living.
Did scenes from your past come back to you? No
The experience included: Awareness of the future
Did scenes from the future come to you? No
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Slightly important to me
What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Catholic Cristiano-católico no practicante.
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes My religious life has no importance now. But my spiritual life is full, satisfying, and very important to me.
What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Greatly important to me
What is your religion now? Do not know Ahora tengo dudas respecto a mi condición religiosa.
Creo en un TODO y creo que todos dependemos de todos, juntos formamos una UNIDAD.
Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience En la experiencia todo el rato la seguridad de que era yo la que estaba viviendo ese viaje hacia CASA. Supe que lo que vi lo estaba viendo yo y fui consciente de que había hecho un viaje al inicio de mi vida actual.
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I began to value my own life. I finally believed that life was something important for me to live and experience. My belief was reaffirmed that life was something more than it had been prior to the experience.
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? No
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No
Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No
During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? Yes Sí que existí antes de esta vida. Mi experiencia me llevó al inicio de la vida actual que tengo, me llevó al momento en que siendo parte de TODO y encontrándome en CASA, vine a esta vida mediante un embarazo. El accidente me hizo viajar el embarazo a la i
During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes Existe una conexión y unidad, sí. Yo cuando regresé a CASA me sentí parte de lo que ahí había, de ese AMOR universal.
Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? I was uncertain if God exists
During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? No
Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? I am uncertain if God exists
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes I saw that love imbues everything and everyone.
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are possibly meaningful and significant
During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes Sí, descubrí que no estaba viviendo la vida para la que yo había venido a la Tierra y que tenía que cambiar mi forma de vivir la VIDA. Tras la experiencia, me prometí a mi misma cambiar.
Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? An afterlife probably exists
Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife probably exists Yes Supe que yo seguía ahí y que había llegado a un lugar maravillosamente en calma, lleno de amor y que quería quedarme ahí. Aquello era CASA.
Did you fear death prior to your experience? I greatly feared death
Do you fear death after your experience? I slightly fear death
Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Greatly fearful in living my earthly life
Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are possibly meaningful and significant
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are meaningful and significant
Did you gain information about how to live our lives? Yes Me di cuenta de lo valiosísima que es la VIDA y lo poco que la cuidamos. Que tenía que hacer algo para que dejaran de maltratarme todos, de humillarme.
Tuve la sensación de que si no hacía un cambio iba a pasar por esta vida sin darme cuenta y sin vivir realmente.
During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Yes Descubrí que es muy fácil rodearnos de dificultades y penalidades y que sólo con proponérmelo podría salir de ese modo de vida. Descubrí que había estado malgastando mi tiempo.
Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Slightly compassionate toward others
During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes Sí. Descubrí que el AMOR es algo grandioso y que está en todo y por todas partes. Que AMOR se ha de sentir por una misma, por los demás, por las cosas y por los lugares...todo es AMOR.
Were you compassionate after your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others
What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life I stopped being afraid of following things through, regardless of the opinion of others. I no longer asked if I or couldn't do this, I just did it straightforwardly. I took decisions without worrying about anyone's opinion. All my life I had always done what others wanted rather than what I wanted.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes Yes The experience brought changes to my life and my relationships. I still have many friends from before, but many others whom I knew disappeared when they started to realize that I was changing.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? No
How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience Mis recuerdos de la experiencia son precisos aún ahora que han pasado 14 años.
Ha sido desde el momento que me ocurrió la experiencia que más me ha marcado y está como grabada en mi mente.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes In the following year my clairvoyant and mediumistic ability was greatly strengthened and still is now.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The love which I felt has helped me to strengthen my empathy with people. I have been able to forgive, and forgive myself.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I shared it straight away, the same day, then the following days. I have been telling people about it for the last fourteen years. Some believed me, including the psychiatrist who attended me after the accident, who said that it was just a way of dealing with the trauma. That the mind invents a way to avoid suffering by creating these states and visions.
There are some people I have stayed in contact with for some years and who know about this experience. They often confide in me and ask for advice.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No I found out about this after the experience. I read on the internet and asked people who knew something about the subject, in particular a nurse who suggested that I read Kubler-Ross. When I read about it, I knew that I had had a near death experience. I have never doubted it since.
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real I felt fortunate. I thought I had been lucky to be in the place from which we come before we are born and where we go after death.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real I am still sure about what I went through. This has never changed. I am convinced about my near death experience.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? After the experience I began a journey toward happiness and respect. It has not been easy but I have achieved both of these to a great extent. I know that there is a before and an after, that I am here only for a time and that one day I will return HOME. But while I'm here, I want to be happy and help all those I can to achieve the same. Nothing makes me happier than helping others.
Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? The questions have been clear, and with them I have been able to describe my near death experience to you.