After giving birth to my second child I hemorrhaged while waiting to deliver the placenta.
I was violently shaking from shock, losing blood, and medication to stop the bleeding. I started to drift into a sleep and awoke in a different place. I was still lying on the bed but everything was white, there seemed to be no walls or roof, just endless white. There were two ladies on either side of me and one man at the foot of my bed. They were all dressed in white. The man was of Asian origin and his hair was plaited and so was his beard. He was chanting something at me. As if he was telling me I had a choice to make and counting down to the time left. Live or die. When I first entered this stage, I felt at peace, warm, and didn't want to go back. But after remembering that I had just given birth, and remembering my eldest daughter, I wanted to go back. I tried my hardest to go back.
Then when I did go back, things were as I left them. I was still violently shaking; there was my doctor and five midwives running around everywhere. My newborn was held by her father. She was screaming and would not stop. Then I felt myself go back to the other side. The man was still chanting and this time I felt horrible, I felt I had to get out of here, that I had two babies to look after. I kept telling myself that I do not want to die, that I have my kids. I can't leave my children; they need their mum. I came out of it, still chaos, shaking, and my baby crying.
This time my partner was at my side. I told him to remember this, remember me telling him to remember this. I had something to back me up later. Then I felt myself going again. But this time the other side didn't last as long. The man was still chanting but I could also hear the midwives saying my name repeatedly, but it echoed. Then I was back. Still shaking but slowing, stopped. I was told I lost 13,000 milliliters of blood.
I asked my partner if he remembered me asking him to remember this. He said that I did stop shaking, a couple of times. I take this as I stopped when I was on the other side. As soon as I came back I would shake again. When I stopped shaking and was in the other side my blood pressure would plummet. As soon as I would come back, it would raise back to normal.
I still have nightmares, not because it was scary - but at how close I was to death, not being able to see my babies. I'm not afraid of dying; I'm just not ready to die.
Date NDE Occurred: 6/05/2008
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Childbirth 'Life threatening event, but not clinical death'
Hemorrhaging after giving birth to second child.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Mixed
Did you feel separated from your body? No
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal The whole time whilst on the other side.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? The whole time whilst on the other side.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
I thought that hours had passed when it was only forty-five minutes.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. There was no real walls or roof, it was just never-ending white.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. The chanting was really loud and very clear. When the midwives were calling my name it was echoing.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes The chanting man and two women on either side.
The experience included: Light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? Uncertain Not sure if the whiteness was light or not.
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? At first I was very calm and very at peace and felt very warm. Then once I realized that I was dying I felt sick, cold, and frightened.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? Happiness
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What was your religion prior to your experience? Moderate non
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No I always believed in life after death, but now I know it's true.
What is your religion now? Moderate 'still same, just believe more in life after death etc.'
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No I always believed in life after death, but now I know it's true.
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? No
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? That I had a choice, and that I really had to fight for my life if I wanted to live. If I wanted to die, I could have very easily.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I told my partner and he just thinks it crap, that it was all a dream because of the amount of blood lost and none of it was real at all. I told my mum, sisters and a few other friends and they seemed to believe me to a degree.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real Exactly the same as when it happened.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No