I was bathed in the most extreme living light one could imagine. I saw everything on earth. I saw how this light absolutely loved everything on earth, a billion times more than love, as we know it. Even the fine hair underneath plant's leaves were not only loved, but also somehow accounted for. I laughed at the notion that we did not know how much we are loved. It was stupendous in emotion. I did not want to ever leave that love. Suddenly I felt like I gasped and said,' I'm not done with my children!' Everything flew by backwards and I awoke to a smiling son. The most difficult effect for me has been the fact that I now live for that light: I want to return! No woman, child, animal or belief has ever been able to even approach this Love. It now gives me great solace when I meditate on it, as I know God is good and no one will be forgotten. The only frustration I have is that I wish everyone on earth could be bathed in, and remember, that light.
Date NDE Occurred: August 2000
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes IllnessDirect head injury un-diagnosed high blood pressure and had worked too much overtime led to brain bleed. Other Cerebral Cortex bleed. I had just suffered a massive cerebral cortex bleed and was in a coma for weeks.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Wonderful
Did you feel separated from your body? Uncertain I lost awareness of my body
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal It had a different validity, more real, so much less weighty than this one. The body is wonderful, but an extreme weight.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? During my experience, I felt that its 'reality' was more valid than this one.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning I was in a coma.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Did your vision differ in any way from normal? I was able to perceive light that probably could leave you blind.
Did your hearing differ in any way from normal? There was a certain kind of knowing and I heard a voice tell me as in casual conversation, 'Down to the tip of his nose, man is exactly as what he wanted to be.'
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No
The experience included: Light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes A ôlivingö light that supported the fabric of the universe.
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm I saw, or knew the love of that light and how everything is loved by that light.
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? At first, I was not sure, then when that amazing light was present, I felt so much love, and I thought I was going to burst.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
The experience included: Special Knowledge
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What was your religion prior to your experience? Liberal
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes The faith of my fathers has taken root.
What is your religion now? Conservative/fundamentalist
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes The faith of my fathers has taken root.
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes Words cannot describe it.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No In the sense that I'm limited now and the advice of the lame is not well accepted.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes The knowledge I did not know I had and especially the living light.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Uncertain Not sure, though my nursing skills seem more attuned.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Of course, more meaningful because I feel I will return to that light, which makes difficulties easier to bear.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I shared it right away because of its joy, I never could get the experience's wonder and joy to be understood, and it was beyond words.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes NDE is mentioned in The DMSO Handbook For Doctors, which as a psychiatric nurse I had access to. No, my prior knowledge of NDE did not play a role in my experience at all because the thought of NDE didn't come up until I was fully awake.
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real. I was waking up to the world (post-cerebrovascular accident) and then, even now I meditate on it and it provides great solace.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real. I view it as real, which seems distant at times, but I can never forget the stupendous amount of love we are showered by.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes Deep meditation or prayer.
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? Words are so lacking in regards to my experience.
Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? Thank you for what you do.