I got a shock when I sucked a piece of candy down the windpipe. The event was very traumatic. My body became heavy like lead, and I suspected that my life was hanging by a very thin thread. I was located a few houses from my home, and began running towards home while trying to scream for my mother. At that moment, the word "mother" and its meaning was deeply imprinted on me. My voice sounded thick and distant. Everything I now went through would have consequences for the remainder of my life.
A lady happened to look up from washing her dishes in the sink. Through her window, she saw me with my face was completely blue. I was extremely uncomfortable that grownups spoke about this in such a nonchalant manner when it really affected me. Subsequently, it took me many years before I could tell what had happened.
Oftentimes when I became nervous or afraid as a grownup, this thick traumatic experience would envelop me. Even later, after I had screamed out my experiences in therapeutic screaming sessions, my anxiety would get worse. It’s as if the experience had been layered into my consciousness and become encapsulated in there, to be brought back to life years later. Through this therapy, I ended up experiencing even more bizarre and traumatic experiences, such as out of body experiences, falling through time and space, ending up deep down inside a sub-atomic world. Now, as an adult, I no longer believed in God. I refuse to become a victim of societal circumstances. I tried to cut ties to anything that had to do with conforming to societal expectations.
Date NDE Occurred: 1962 minns ej datum
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Accident. Olycka genom kvävning. Satte en karamell i halsen. Life threatening event, but not clinical death
How do you consider the content of your experience? Frightening
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes
I lost awareness of my body
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal I could have died from suffocation, but was rescued by a lady who saw me choking. At the age of seven, during the moment of suffocation, I was in a heightened state of alertness. All my senses were heightened, until I went into a compact yet life-affirming darkness. My consciousness pushed in, or out, toward a surrealistic and hallucinatory feeling. My senses were twisted but simultaneously heightened and more piercing.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
The death experience is to go into a geometrical plane where time and space ceases to exist, and this unusual feeling can result in anxiety or trauma.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I don’t remember anything about vision specifically. It was rather the emotional aspects that held my attention.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I “heard” my own voice as thick and sticky and muddled, like a voice that came from inside and that came from a center point within my consciousness.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No
The experience included: Void
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? No I only remember darkness up until I woke up in a lady’s lap and got a glass of water to drink. In that moment, I experienced a peace that was magical. I was relieved and happy.
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm Själva känslan i sig, själva det blytunga gav mig en känsla av en annan dimension. Som om kroppen och själen uppstått ur olika dimensioner och att detta orsakar en splittring hos människan.
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? I think I experienced it as if my body became heavy like lead and yet it was as if I didn’t have to carry it. My soul became separated from the body. Still I think I got scared as I couldn’t determine what the physical sensations meant. It’s as if I later in life have gotten a physical, bodily understanding separate from the spiritual.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control After this experience I became very religious and very Christian. I met Jesus through school education.
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What was your religion prior to your experience? Moderate Vanlig uppfattning i förhållande till mina föräldrars livsåskådning
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes
What is your religion now? Liberal
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes Shortly after this experience, I began speaking to Jesus, and indirectly with god. In some way, I could feel that I was chosen and special, and my psyche and self confidence partially changed.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I’m unsure of where I stand with others and I’m very dependent on how others understand me and can understand my anxiety.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes I couldn't connect with other people because they didn't show any sign of psychological insight into my experience.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Uncertain I have definitely received gifts through this experience, but of a difficult sort. It is as if I’d like to better the world and the knowledge in the world, but yet it is like it creates reluctance in other people. They think that I’m making myself more important than I am. My gifts are definitely of the mental kind, something that usually only I can recognize.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? At times I became very religious, something I abdicated in my late teens when I wanted to revolt and become a hippie.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I have a hard time sharing the experience with others, but I continue to work on it.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real The death process still causes me anxiety and is very real to me.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real Sometimes I experience it as if I’m on my way into another dimension, and then it can sometimes happen that the traumatic parts of the experience is reawakened and I become afraid of death. No, not TO DIE, but the process itself of DYING. That’s what scares me. And that’s what makes me long more and more for god.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes