Experience Description

I was post-surgery for bowel obstruction and had developed pneumonia. I was not responding to the antibiotics and had an IV in each arm and one of those gastric tubes down my nose. I was losing strength every day, and eventually the morphine would not touch the pain. I began to pray that I would die.

After a very long intense time, I was released from my body, began to float upwards, and became aware of a light, not a tunnel but a light. As I got closer to the light, I could see an angel and she held her arms out to me but I never made it into her arms. I said to her, 'I am here,' and she said, 'You must go back.' I asked, 'But why?' She said, 'You must think of the children.' I had been so miserable that I had forgotten all about my children! I returned immediately to my body, and by the way, to immediately heal!

I was out of the hospital in forty-eight hours! It took me two years to get over the surgery, but I'll never get over the experience

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: Christmas of 1992

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Uncertain IllnessSurgery-related Illness, trauma or other condition not considered life threatening Suffering from bowel obstruction, post surgery discomfort, pneumonia I was having difficulty recovering from pneumonia as the antibiotics were no longer working and I was so weak I could barely speak.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Positive

The experience included: Out of body experience

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I was not aware of my body in the sense of its new shape, I was only aware of moving quickly through space toward a light and that I was not in my physical body.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? I'm not sure about consciousness, but I sure 'felt' alert, if that makes sense.

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes The angel.

The experience included: Darkness

The experience included: Light

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes Bright white ball, and as I got closer to it, it took the shape of an angel.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No I was send back immediately.

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Extreme relief.

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No

Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control I learned that I was a selfish bitch and that it was time to put my children first.

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will Once the angel said that I must return for my children, I became aware that I must return and finish my work. It wasn't so much a decision really, just like being reminded to finish your chores (grin).

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Liberal

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes Oh Lord! After something like that, you have to investigate everything that your life is about. Going from believing in nothing to not being sure what happened to you, to learning to believe in something and the eternal investigation of what that something is. Thank God I had that bowel obstruction!

The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes It was like a dream, except the unusual dream that you only get from time to time -- you know, the ones you NEVER forget. At first I was sure it was the effects of the morphine, but later when I realized how truly sick I was, and how much pain I was in and how badly I wanted to die, I knew that it had really happened.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes They took a time to flourish and for me to allow them to flourish. About four years. I was a heavy alcoholic at the time, so I had to sober up a bit and learn that what was happening to me was normal -- in a way. Eventually, trying to cope with what has happened to me, I have come to realize that I have healing abilities (still working with humans, but seem to do well with animals), and can be very psychic, not with all people, but some people most definitely. I have short term warnings of impending disaster, which I am still trying to allow myself to recognize. For example, I would get a picture of a cop car with its lights on in my rear view mirror. The image was very fast and hard to grasp. If I did not take the time to grasp it, within twenty minutes, I would be pulled over by a cop (always for something stupid, like a headlight out) but nonetheless the warning was there. I am finally getting the gist of LISTENING and not blowing it off.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The worst part was questioning of my own sanity, the best part was accepting it and letting it change me so that I could explore this other, most beautiful world that is available to all of us if we only choose to see it and take part in it. Before this experience my attitude was literally work, pay taxes, die, what's the point! I'm finally getting the point. And if you don't focus on the pain, not quite so much of it seems to come your way, and boy the sunsets sure are pretty!

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I will now openly reflect upon it and not worry who thinks I am nuts, and here is why: May one person out there will hear me talking about it and will find comfort that *they* are not nuts, it happened to them too. And if I can make the transition for just one person easier, I don't care who else thinks I'm nuts. It's a difficult process, walking between two worlds, but I believe that we will all eventually have to do it. The times demand it.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? No, I've probably over done it -- grin.