At the time of the hanging it was my weight was cutting off circulation to my brain. I could have gotten up at any time I wanted to but chose not to. All I remember is I started floating down at a good pace down a dark tunnel filled with jewel toned lights. Like they were bricks lining the tunnel and a black hole at the end. I wasn't afraid or didn't feel anything. It was strange. I could hear my friends that were alive telling me no Lela, no Lela. When I came to the wire had broken and I was lying on the floor of my closet. I was upset at what I had done and never attempted suicide again.
I have had many opportunities were I could have been killed but something always seemed to keep from death. When I was a young teenager again I had been asked to go for rides with people on two separate occasions and they both died immediately after they left me.
Date NDE Occurred: In the warmer months.
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Suicide attempt Other Attempted suicide by hanging. When I awoke the nuse was broke.
I had been suicidal many years before and never succeeded at the few attempts in the past which were overdoses. This last time I attempted to hang myself in my bedroom closet. Again, I was unsuccessful. The wire broke. But this time I was glad nothing had happened to me again.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Mixed
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes
I clearly left my body and existed outside it
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal During my suicide attempt.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? During my suicide attempt.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Faster than usual
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
It did not feel real.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes The tunnel was filled with jewel toned lights. That were put together like bricks going down the tunnel. At the end of the tunnel was a black hole. But I never made it to the end of the hole.
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No
The experience included: Darkness
The experience included: Light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes Just the jewel toned lights.
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No
What emotions did you feel during the experience? I was not afraid or happy. Maybe confused.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future All my dreams come true. I have very strong intuitive feelings that come to be true. A couple of days ago I was waiting to talk to someone on the phone and I started drawing tornadoes. I never draw anything other than flowers symmetrical lines. I drew the exact one that was captured on film, used by the one of the news media. I once met a kicker who used to play for the Kansas City Chiefs for a drink and at the end of the night, I told him he would be the deciding factor of the game. It was up to him whether they would win or lose and it came true the next day. He kicked the ball and missed the field goal. That was many years ago. I have been having strange occurrences happening to me lately.
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What was your religion prior to your experience? Moderate 'My parents were deaf so we did not go to church, but they had strong faith in god. I would attend different religious churchs.'
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Uncertain I can't remember if I started going to different churches with my friends before or after?
What is your religion now? Moderate Spiritual
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Uncertain I can't remember if I started going to different churches with my friends before or after?
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes I just knew it was not meant to be the time for me to die. Considering all the other opportunities, I know it wasn't my time or even for a long time from then. I know now that there is something I was meant to do by the experience's I have had and continue to go through.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I have learned that you can't fight everything and everyone. Everything has consequences. I have learned to love people for who they are, and not who you want them to be. If they want my advice, I will give it. Acceptance, growth, peace, love, grace, and wisdom are what is important to me. Of course standing for what your truth is and not someone else's. This has been a gradual experience for me. But definitely was a direct connection from my past.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? No
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes. Yes and no. I saw one something in the afternoon one day while trying to concentrate on my studies. About a month or so ago. I was having a very difficult time. It was like I was trying to keep from falling asleep almost like a really deep trance. Out of the corner of my left eye, I could see a boy. I could see every detail of him all in gray colors. I screamed and jumped and he vanished. When I was a young girl about kindergarten, I saw a dark image of a man with a hat that was not of the era at that time. He was a very tall man, unlike my father that was sleeping in the room behind my bedroom. I later discovered that the house we use to live in was one of the oldest homes in the town, that's what I was told. The story of the football player, I knew it was going to happen. Sometimes things fly out of my mouth I don't think about it at all it just happens. Just like the times I was asked to go places with a couple of guys I liked and I turned them down immediately. The next thing I knew they were dead. Maybe it's accidental? I don't know. Maybe I am weird? I forgot about a year ago I was in a Spiritual Church in my mom's hometown. I had never been to one so I decided to go, and yes alone. They were all very nice people! At the time, I was visiting my mother I was in a very amazing state of mind. All I could feel was love and peace. When I was down in the basement with the rest of the people the pastor or whatever you want to call him was smiling at me and talking to me. At some point, my vision started to go bright white and I could barely see everyone in the room. I had this amazing and overwhelming sense of love and peace. I have never felt anything like it in my entire life? The pastor kept talking to me and I was trying to block him out because of this incredible feeling I was having and seeing. I could barely see that he kept moving towards me after a while and eventually it went away and he was standing right next to me and gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek? I don't even know what he had said to me? I just graciously smiled and nodded as if I had heard everything he said. My ex-husband used to tell me that the best ideas he would implement would come from me. He would look at me strange and say do you know about business?
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? I thought the colored lights were strange. The warmth and sincerity of all the voices telling me no. I didn't feel good about the black hole but I wasn't really scared. Uneasy.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I shared it with a psychic that is well known in my area. A friend of my mother and mine. They both seem to think I have some abilities. My mother did astral travel when she was a young girl and her mother dreamed that her husband was going to die and he did two days later. My father was looking for me when I had ran away when I was a teenager. I had left for a couple of weeks traveling with truck drivers around the country, crazy! He knew where and when I was coming back. He had driven up to me just as I had only walked a block, if that, after getting out of the truck. My aunt when she was in a coma, dreamed that she was running from death the whole time. She told the story everyone was shocked. I guess she was close to death? My cousin told me once that she saw herself as a child right there in front of her eyes, laughing and playing, I believe. These are some of the stories I have heard about and from my family members. My grandfather was a young man when he died and I believe my grandmother was even younger. I use to sleep walk and talk in my sleep all the time. I don't know if I do anymore - since I don't live with anyone anymore.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real I was in a lot of pain and anguish. I was scared after it happened and realized that I could never do anything like that again! I was uncertain about the whole thing I experienced. I am still not sure what it was, hell? I did not like life and would have rather have been with God. But realized that was not where I was meant to be. I knew there was and is something that I was meant to accomplish.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real Not good! Definitely real! I would rather have seen white lights. I have always heard suicides go to hell coming from the catholic church. But who knows? I tend to lean towards the more spiritual concepts. Considering the Bible is not full of truth anyway. They pick and choose what they put in it. Because it can be contradictory if they didn't. Then what would people believe?
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No