Before I tell my experience, I felt it was important to tell of what happened leading up to my experience. I have always been intuitive, knowing things that would happen before they do. For example, knowing my grandfather had passed away before anyone told me. He is the person I see in my near death experience. About a week before my experience, I was sitting in my evening Algebra class. My boyfriend at the time was also taking the class. We were going over a new chapter in our books and I got this sudden overwhelming feeling that something really bad was going to happen to me. I was not sure what, but I got sweaty and felt like the room was closing in on me, a panic attack. A few minutes later, we had a ten-minute break in the class and I had to get out of there. I told my boyfriend I needed to go. I felt such anxiety in my stomach. We went back to his parent's house and I called my mom. I told her I was so scared that something was going to happen to me and I was afraid to make the thirty-minute drive home. She eventually convinced me to. I made it home! A few days later, we went to San Francisco for my birthday. I stayed at my sister’s house and was getting up to help her boyfriend serve drinks. I slipped, fell, and broke my ankle. My parents came back to San Francisco that night to get me from the hospital so that I could have my Orthopedic Surgeon perform the surgery. After my experience my doctor asked me if I remembered anything but was still had too much morphine in me to collect my thoughts. Although it has been almost twelve years since my experience, I still remember every detail as if it was yesterday. I have not told anyone in great detail of my experience as I have never quite been able to describe it and I almost felt like it did not really happen. After reading your book, I was convinced that what I had experienced was real.
Here is my near death experience in as many words as I can describe it, even though I do not feel like I did the experience justice with words. The quietness that experienced in my near death experience was like nothing else, and I often to this day have hard time endearing noises. I look forward to having that kind of silence again.
I began floating up through darkness, like a tunnel, with a bright light at the end. The light felt brighter than the sun but did not hurt to look into. As I got closer and closer to the end of the tunnel, I could see the beginnings of a bright blue sky. The most brilliant blue you could imagine. While travelling through the darkness I became more and more aware of spiritual beings in the dark to my right. I remember feeling calm and there was a quietness not of this world. The tunnel got lighter the further along I floated and seemed to be made of clouds (although they were not). At the end of the tunnel there was a man standing there with open arms. He had longer hair and was wearing a white gown. He had the most peaceful look on his face. He was definitely not of this world. I felt so welcomed by him. I was quickly approaching a barrier, almost like an invisible wall, that once crossed I would not be able to return. Someone to my left was motioning for me to go back and the closer I came to the barrier the faster he motioned for me to turn around. Then he floated out in front of the man in the light and said to go back, it was not your time but when he said this, it was almost as if it was telepathic, because I could only hear it in my head. It was my grandfather who had passed away almost seven years earlier. I was rapidly pulled back towards my body. On my way back down, I was floating backwards; however, I could see perfectly behind me without even trying. I could see my surgeon standing over me on my left side, as well as a doctor next to him in a white lab coat and another doctor on the right side of my bed, also wearing a white coat. There were two nurses, one at the end of the bed who walked out of the room and the other nurse was standing next to a big, white portable machine. It was almost like I was sucked back into my body and then I woke up. When I woke up the nurses and doctors I had just seen were standing there. The big white machine was a portable x-ray and the nurse was waiting to take a chest x-ray.
Date NDE Occurred: 'March 19, 2001'
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Drug or medication overdose 'Life threatening event, but not clinical death'
I had fallen and broke my ankle in two places and completely shattered it in another. I had undergone extensive surgery. After my surgery, I was given morphinene. The nurse had overdosed me and I became unconscious. He put a morphine patch on me per the doctor’s orders and also put morphine in my IV. He told me the morphine patch takes awhile to work. As he put the patch on me, I swiped his hand away afraid for him to do both. I am highly sensitive to medicine and usually need the lowest dose possible to feel affected.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I was able to see my surgeon standing over me on my left side, as well as a doctor next to him in a white lab coat, and another doctor on the right side of my bed, also wearing a white coat. There were two nurses, one at the end of the bed who walked out of the room. The other nurse was standing next to a big, white portable machine. When I woke up the nurses and doctors I had just seen were standing there. The big white machine was a portable x-ray and the nurse was waiting to take a chest x-ray.
I clearly left my body and existed outside it
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal The consciousness I experienced was not like anything in this life. It was like I had no questions that I did not immediately know the answer to. I was completely at peace and aware that everything around me was peaceful.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? My highest level on consciousness was when I was almost at the barrier where I had to go back or I could not return.
Were your thoughts speeded up? No
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? No
Were your senses more vivid than usual? No
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I wear glasses because I am nearsighted; however, I could see everything so clearly and no longer had impaired vision. Everything was so crisp and clear.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. During my experience there was complete silence and the only voice I heard was my grandfather. It was not like he spoke to me out loud, it was more of him speaking to me telepathically, telling me to go back.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No
The experience included: Tunnel
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes I was floating through a dark tunnel toward a bright light. As I traveled down the tunnel it got lighter and I was able to see spiritual beings on the right side of me.
The experience included: Presence of deceased persons
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes I encountered my grandfather during my experience. He was the person waving me back and told me I needed to go back. I was close with my grandfather and was only thirteen when he passed away. I was deeply affected by his passing. He had been deceased for nearly seven years at the time of my near death experience.
The experience included: Darkness
The experience included: Unearthly light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? An unusually bright light
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes There was a bright light at the end of the tunnel, brighter than even the sun, but I was able to look into the light without being affected.
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No
What emotions did you feel during the experience? I felt a calmness that I know I will never feel on this earth. I also felt completely and peace and an overwhelming amount of love.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? Happiness
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt no longer in conflict with nature
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about myself or others Although no specific thoughts or questions came to my mind, I had an understanding and knew everything. There was no need to ask questions about anything because it was like I knew all the answers already. There were no more questions.
Did scenes from your past come back to you? No
Did scenes from the future come to you? No
The experience included: Boundary
Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes I reached an invisible barrier that if I crossed I could not come back. It was about three-fourths of the way up the tunnel.
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Slightly important to me
What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Catholic
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No
What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Greatly important to me
What is your religion now? Christian- Catholic
Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience I grew up believing in God and Jesus, so experiencing Jesus waiting for me just confirmed for me what I have believed all along. As well as my belief in heave. The experience was not consistent in beliefs I had during the time because I did not know there would be complete knowledge of everything and that there would be an overwhelming sense of love and acceptance. My experience of the after life was more than I ever could have imagined or believed in.
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I believe in an afterlife without a doubt now. I know I will be reunited with my family, friends, and pets. I will get to live with them for all eternity. I feel a greater peace within myself for things that happen in this lifetime. I lost my child when I was five months pregnant and I know I will get to see her again. She is waiting for me and I am so happy I will see her again.
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin There was a man standing at the end of the tunnel with open arms waiting for me. He was definitely an unearthly being, but was also welcoming me and full of love.
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? Yes The man I experienced standing at the end of the tunnel welcoming me with open arms was Jesus. He had such a peaceful look on his face and was full of unconditional love for me.
During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No
During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Uncertain
Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? God probably exists
During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes During my experience, Jesus was waiting for me at the end of the tunnel. He was waiting to welcome me to my new 'life'.
Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God definitely exists
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are possibly meaningful and significant
During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No
Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? An afterlife probably exists
Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists Yes I saw the beginnings of a bright blue sky. The sky was so blue and was definitely not a color I have seen on this earth. It looked like the beginnings of a heavenly realm if I crossed the invisible barrier.
Did you fear death prior to your experience? I greatly feared death
Do you fear death after your experience? I slightly fear death
Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Greatly fearful in living my earthly life
Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Slightly fearful in living my earthly life
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are possibly meaningful and significant
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are meaningful and significant
Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No
During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No
Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Moderately compassionate toward others
During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes I had an overwhelming sense of love all around me. Everyone in the shadows was full of love.
Were you compassionate after your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others
What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Moderate changes in my life Before my experience, I feared death and the unknown of what comes after death. Now, I fear death only in the sense that I am afraid of the actual event of dying or pain involved with dying. I know that there is something greater waiting for me and all of my loved ones are waiting for me.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No No
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes This experience has always been difficult to express because there do not seem to any words in the English language to justify or explain what I experienced.
How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience I remember this event like it just happened, even though it has been almost 12 years! I do not remember some of the events from before it happened and afterwards since I was on so much morphine. This event, however, was the most clear part of the whole thing.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes As I previously stated, I have always been intuitive and known things before they happen. This has become more so true since my experience. I have vivid dreams for things that will happen, and they do. I also still know things that will happen. For example, I knew when my grandma passed away before I was told. When I went to my parent's house for her funeral, I went to pet my cat and I knew without a doubt he would not be around for much longer. He passed away exactly 2 months later. These are just two examples in a list I have.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I bought your book for my sister. She had surgery to remove a cancerous tumor from her ovary. She told me she woke up feeling like a different person but was not able to explain why. I thought the book might help her. After she read it and elaborated on her feelings, I told her what happened to me. This happened just a couple of months ago and before this I had only briefly shared the experience with my dad. He had had a heart attack and gone into cardiac arrest several times. He said the doctor asked him if he had a near death experience and he did not. I felt like I could tell him mine. He was completely receptive to my experience and since I hardly had the words to describe to him what happened, he was not really sure of what to say to me.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was probably not real I thought that I had had a very vivid dream and did not see how it could possibly be real given the fact I was unconscious and on so much morphine. I was also still coming off of the medication from being put under for surgery.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real No matter how far away what happened is I still remember it like it was yesterday. There is no doubt that it was real. Especially after reading your book myself!
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No