Experience Description

I feel so tacky saying this since it's so stereotypical, but there was always a bright white light. I'd go to it, and once I got there, and I touched it, everything was beautifully white, scintillating, and warm. It smelled sweet and inviting, like cupcakes or warm vanilla sugar.

There were these - the phrase used on the site was 'unearthly beings', and they talked to me. The specifics of what they said are hazy. There was a lot of talking about how special I was, how people like me didn't come around often, and that I'd understand and remember more, as I got older when it was important again. I have no idea what they were referring to, only that it made me feel like the most important person in the world (also I was beaten up on a lot as a kid, so positive attention is the thing that I've always craved most). I do distinctly remember that they told me at the end of each time that it was time to go home. I always wanted to stay, but they said that I had important work to do and that they'd see me again soon, and then the last time it was someday.

Everything started to fade away, and then it would be black. Then there was a shock feeling, like suddenly being submersed in cold water, or unknowingly grabbing an electric fence. Each shock came with a sort of cold, fluorescent light flash, and then I'd be back in my body. I was both, happy to have been complimented and sad to leave. They must have told me something about church, but I don't think it was any sort of 'you should go to church', but it wasn't against it really either.

Church was just mentioned, because that's actually, why I talked to my mom about what had happened. I remembered the word 'church' and I asked her what that was. She asked why I wanted to know and I told her. I guess I didn't realize it wasn't something that happened to everyone, because she said that I was really casual about it. I got confused when she didn't know what I was talking about. That's about all I can tell you.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: 'multiple times, don't know the exact dates though'

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Seizures Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function or brain function) I used to have epilepsy; I had some sort of grand mal seizure that stopped my heart and my breathing, but fortunately I only was clinically dead a few times, I recovered, and they've stopped.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Wonderful

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I lost awareness of my body

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? Normal consciousness and alertness What?

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? What?

Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning Time there seemed normal; like sitting on a big comfy bed in a gorgeous room and talking to friends for hours, but in reality I was only gone for a few moments.

Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes It was sort of like a tunnel; very small to begin with, with a light in the distance, which I was intrigued by, so I went toward it, and as I went the tunnel grew progressively bigger, but the light didn't grow. Then, it was more like a room than a tunnel, with the light in the middle. I touched the light, and everything changed.

Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes They were just all around me. We were surrounded by softness and light and they were blurry, but it was obvious that if they could be seen clearly they would be gorgeous. Most of the time they were seemingly female, but I do remember a more masculine figure. I had no idea who or what they were, only that I loved them. They talked to me a lot, but specifics are difficult to remember because it was a long time ago.

The experience included: Light

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes I've described it several times already, but, it was small, about the size of a golf ball, and it was perfect. It was so wonderful and beatific that I just had to touch it. I honestly wanted to take it, just sort of carry it home with me, but that didn't quite work out.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm Again, it was all light and white and warm and shimmering and soft and perfect and outside of time.

The experience included: Strong emotional tone

What emotions did you feel during the experience? It started with a subtle curiosity, then grew into profound peace and ebullience, then turned a bit sad, then there was a strange, impossible to really describe, feeling like extreme fear and perfect harmony simultaneously, like there were two separate versions of me that were still connected psychologically.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe

Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control

The experience included: Vision of the future

Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future I know that I was told about them, but I no longer remember what they were. They said that I would remember things as they became important, and that the knowledge would in all likelihood be subconscious; I would just know, or have an intense déjà vu feeling and then know the next event.

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Liberal 'None; in fact, my dad's an atheist and my mom is an agnostic, so at the time I'd never even heard of any sort of afterlife.'

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No

What is your religion now? Liberal

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No

The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes It was so beautiful, and patchy, of course, since I was very young, though I told my mom about it so she remembers what happened as well. Everything was so light and peaceful. It was totally outside of time. It seemed to go at a normal pace and last for hours, but in reality it was only moments.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Uncertain Well, I don't remember anything before the events, but I've always been able to see and communicate with spirits, which I know makes me sound crazy, so I don't ever really mention it. I'm excellent at getting into people's minds. For example, my friend Mitch knows about all of this, so when he broke up with his girlfriend and I asked him what happened he said that I should go into his mind, so to speak, and figure it out. When I first tried to go into his mind, everything was green. This turned out to be his favorite color (he's a Pagan, and had a psychological protection spell or some odd thing like that), so then I tried again, and I saw a forest, and a camp, like a summer camp, and a fat blonde chick with a boy on a bed in a cabin. I said, 'Oh, she cheated on you while at summer camp.' He said, 'Yeah, how'd you know?' So I told him, and he laughed and said, 'Yeah, my girlfriend is fat and blonde.'

One time, and this is really strange, but I was in bed one night. Suddenly, I thought of my friend Sean, how much I missed him, and all of a sudden, in my mind, I was behind a house. I climbed up a trellis to the roof of a back porch, through a window, into a bedroom. I looked around; noted the position of a dragon poster, a bed, a nightstand. I noticed the colors. Then Sean walked in, and I fell asleep. I've never been to Sean's house - we met at a concert and he lives two hours away from me. I've only ever seen him at concerts, an arcade, and a mutual friend named Mariah's house. At any rate, the next day I asked him about his house and bedroom. I told him it is on the back of the house, is painted cream/white, and has certain items in certain places. He said, 'yeah, how the f**k did you know that?' I told him that I saw it during an out of body experience

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? I still want to know what the 'important work' is that I have to do, and what they meant by 'people like me' and why said type of people are so rare.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes My mom; she reacted in the same way she reacted to everything I said or did - by telling me I was dumb, slapping me, and sending me to my room. My best friend Ashley just said it was interesting.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real I just thought it was fun and I missed the place and the people and that I would rather be there than here.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real A child of that age with no prior knowledge of anything even remotely related to the subject of NDE could not have possibly made up such a thing, though I really wish I remembered it more fully.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? A lot of the questions are repetitive and redundant. Much like saying both the word repetitive and the word redundant in one sentence. That was done for the effect.