I went to this beautiful place that was not here, but which was very real and very beautiful. It was very gentle, very warm, very sage, very loving, and very peaceful. I was aware that everybody that had ever lived was there. I did not see my mum or dad, but I knew they were there. There was a warm glow of light around me and the place where I was. The feeling of great personal peace was beautiful and unforgettable, although unexplainable. Even now I cry when I talk of it (as I am now), because maybe I should have gone there.I was in a relationship with Patricia, a widowed lady with four children. I am now married to her. I loved her very deeply. She did not appear, nor was I aware of her influence on me, but I really wanted to go to this beautiful place. Somehow, I was made aware that someone I loved would need me, and I had a choice. I did not know it was her, but I chose to come back.About a year later, her son got a twitch in his hand and seemed not to be his normal self. He had developed a virus (from a dormant measles virus) which attacked his brain. The medical name I have heard many times but cannot even remember it. It apparently affects young males, and the normal time before they die is six to seven months. It took Anthony over two years and it was a hellish time for Patricia.I was there for her and I believe that is why I came back from where I was going. I still can feel the great sad but serene loss that not going to that place has left me with.
Date NDE Occurred: about 22 years ago
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes illness. Llife threatening event, but not clinical death.
I had been passing blood for some days and thought it was piles as I had had them before. The condition was very severe but being a bit ‘macho-stupid,’ I did not go to the doctor. I made my living as a salesman for my own company and needed to work. On the morning concerned, I had to go to the bank and when I was about to leave my yard, I puked up a very large amount of blood and felt very unwell. I persevered and went to the bank in Dundalk and when I left the bank, I collapsed at the back of a building at the rear of the bank.
A woman, whom I knew, walked by, looked at me lying there, and passed on without helping. It was a quiet spot and no one else came. I got some of my strength back and came to after a while, and was able to drive to the hospital. I collapsed in the emergency room.
How do you consider the content of your experience? entirely pleasant
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes
I clearly left my body and existed outside it
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal Everything was so real and yet it was not here. There were no doubts, fears, or indecisions. All was calm and so very right.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? I do not know how to answer this question. It seemed, in a worldly sense, to be a long time. When I came to, I heard a voice saying, ‘He is back,’ or words to that effect, and I was in a ward with three other men who were very, very ill and/or dying. At all times during my experience, I seemed to be very alert, but I know that I was in another place.
Were your thoughts speeded up? No
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
There was no time.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? No
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I cannot answer this correctly as I did not see anyone, but I knew everyone was there.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. No one talked to me as such. The message was given to me in my heart or my soul. I really do not know. All I can say is that I knew for sure someone would need me.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Uncertain
Did you see any beings in your experience? I sensed their presence
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes I was aware of my mum and dad and Adolph Hitler. I have come to a conclusion that we all go there and that this life is our own hell.
The experience included: unearthly light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? An unusually bright light
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes It’s hard to describe, but sometimes now when I experience bright flashing lights it triggers something in me and I become emotional with a deep sadness.
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm It was so calm, kind, peaceful, and loving.
The experience included: strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Complete peace and serenity. A presence that engulfed me.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt no longer in conflict with nature
The experience included: special knowledge or purpose
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No
Did scenes from your past come back to you? I remembered many past events
Did scenes from the future come to you? No
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will Because I was aware that someone I loved would need me, I made a conscious decision to come back. It seemed the right thing to do.
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Not important to me
What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- catholic I WAS LUKEWARM CATHOLIC WITHOUT ANY GREAT LOVE FOR IT AS I HAD SEEN IT AS A CRUEL UNCARING FORM OF WORSHIP
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I firmly believe in a good and kind God. Before, I was not so sure.
What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Greatly important to me
What is your religion now? Do not know I HAVE DEVELOPED A DEEP LOVE OF GOD ABOUT WHOM I KNOW ABSOLUTELY NOTHING EXCEPT THAT HE IS GOOD AND KIND AND HELPS ME COPE WITH THINGS THAT HAPPEN IN MY DAILY LIFE (IF I REMEMBER TO LET HIM HELP). I DO NOT KNOW IF HE IS A HE OR A SHE OR SOMETHING ELSE BUT IT HELPS ME TO SPEAK OF GOD AS HIM.
Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I pray to God, not for things I need or want, but for peace in my mind. I know nothing about God except that he is there for me, and he is kind.
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? No
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I sensed their presence
Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? Yes I KNEW MY MUM AND DAD WERE THERE AND LOTS OF OTHERS. I KNOW THIS SOUNDS CRAZY BUT I WAS AWARE THAT HITLER WAS THERE. HE WAS SUCH AN EVIL HUMAN BUT I WAS AWARE OF HIM. I DID NOT SEE HIM BUT THE PLACE WHERE I WAS AT THAT TIME HE WAS THERE.
During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No
During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes I HAVE BECOME AWARE FROM THIS EXPERIENCE THAT I AM PART OF A GREAT ONENESS THAT IS UNEXPLAINABLE BUT LOVELY
Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? I was uncertain if God exists
During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes THERE WAS A GOODNESS ABOUT THE WHOLE THING THAT HAD TO BE FROM SOMETHING GREATER THAN ME
Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God definitely exists
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are not meaningful and significant
During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No
Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? An afterlife probably exists
Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists Yes THE PRESCENCE OF MY MUM AND DAD EVEN THOUGH I DID NOT SEE THEM WAS VERY REAL AND DEFINITE AND COMFORTING. THE PRESCENCE OF HITLER WAS JUST THAT HE WAS THERE AND THATS IT.
Did you fear death prior to your experience? Unknown
Do you fear death after your experience? I do not fear death
Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Greatly fearful in living my earthly life
Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are meaningful and significant
Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No
During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No
Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Slightly compassionate toward others
During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes THE FEELING OF LOVE WAS SO PEACEFUL
Were you compassionate after your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others
What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life Life is still a hard place. Before my experience, my life was full of a great personal fear of living. Not a fear of another man or of war or anything tangible, but an extreme fear of facing each new day because I could not cope with the disappointments and kicks in the butt of real living. Since my experience, I do not have that fear of living. I still get the disappointments and kicks in the butt, but I can accept them as not being personal to me alone. That these things are part of life.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes Yes I have become more aware of my own defects. Consequently, I am more forgiving of the defects of other people. It has not made me a saint, as I am still me, but it has helped me to slow down in my judgments and actions.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes Such peace and love is difficult to explain.
How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I do not know how my remembrance of the experience compares to my remembrance of other life events at time
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Because of being abused as a youngster, I hated God and did not trust Him.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I shared it with one man who is a Catholic priest and whom I have known since I was nine years old. We met at a funeral and we got talking somehow, and a great friendship developed because I told him I love God because of my experience. I am still not too sure about the Catholic religion and it may never be my choice, but now I do not condemn it the way I did before.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real It was me without a body in another place. It is still real to me.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real Nothing has changed. Time has not eroded the strength of my convictions.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes Sometimes flashing lights will resurrect and bring back the sense of loss that I did not go. Life is good, but where I was going was an end to all worries and troubles.
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? It was the most beautiful thing that ever happened to me, and God is good.
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