I left my body as my husband pulled under the awning of the emergency room. I saw them take me out of the vehicle and put me into a wheelbarrow chair looking thing. I saw the way each of the workers looked and what they were wearing. I saw my husband off to the side as I began to float farther and farther up. Then, I just saw their legs under the awning, the top of the hospital, and the mall to the side. It looked like I was floating into a huge light that looked like the full moon. It was cold outside but I was perfectly warm. I was still wearing my clothes as I floated out because as I looked down and saw my legs, they were clad with the same clothes I had been wearing. Then all of the sudden, I was rapidly sucked into what I thought was this full moon. That night the moon was a sliver, so this was 'the light' that NDErs talk about.
When I got there, I saw a line of people waiting in a white room that didn't seem to have borders or lines. The light of the room was an unnatural but beautiful and comforting light. Just when I thought to myself, 'Wow there are lines even in heaven,' I was immediately sitting with my knees to my chest. I was with Jesus who was also sitting the same way. He was tall with beautiful, tan skin. His eyes were the most vibrant green-blue that I had never seen. His eyes looked like jewels. They were so full of love and I felt full of love and comfort, acceptance and utter joy. I saw myself in a glorified type of body. My hair was thick and long; my blue eyes were even more blue and my skin was flawless. Jesus took my hand and said, 'Look.'
At that moment, I was shown incidents in my life where I was very mean to people or hurt people without realizing it due to self absorption or distraction. The review was so fast, in a rush, like I could see all of the incidents at once with such efficiency. I was like there was a line and then there wasn't. The way things flow there is so perfect. When He showed me all of these things, he did not condemn me but just showed me all of the lost moments of love and how it had a domino affect on others. He was so loving in all of this conviction. I looked at Him and told Him, 'I don't want to leave. I want to stay with you.' He told me, 'I know this. If you stayed, this is what would happen to your children and husband.' I saw flashes of the consequences of my early departure from their life. In the very moment that I said that I could not do that to them, I was instantly back in my body with such a jolt.
When Jesus spoke with me, we never used words or voice; it was all a telepathic type of conversation. I came back to my body and heard a priest praying for me. I did come back out of my body again at some point but did not go back into the light or heaven. I saw the priest praying for me and I saw what was happening when I was out of my body, but I could not hear when I was out. I could hear when I was back in but then I could not see. It was very bizarre. I heard the medical personnel say things like, 'Could this get any worse?' and I heard a nurse say, 'God help her!' I heard them announce that I was a 'bleeder' because apparently when they were intubating me, I had a traumatic intubation. They were apparently recovering and cleaning me after the intubation. Then I went to sleep in critical condition and didn't wake up for three days.
Date NDE Occurred: 1/20/2015
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Suicide attempt. Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function)
Total Respiratory Failure/Coma
How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes As I was floating up, I saw all who worked on me. It was verified, because when I made my recovery, I revisited the trauma team and had thank you cards with their physical descriptions. The supervisor intercepted them and knew exactly who the people were. I even knew the color of one nurse's hairstreak and her jacket. I also confirmed with the head of the ministry as I described the priest who was called to read my last rights. He was an Indian man of small stature. There was only one such man and he was there the night that I died. The head priest confirmed this through the records, listened to my experience and we both drew a lot of comfort from it.
I clearly left my body and existed outside it
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal Every sound was amplified and the pain of my body way worse after being in heaven and coming back to the body. When in heaven, I was so aware of my surroundings, my emotional feelings, and the love that was held for me. When I was floating out, I was hyper-aware of all the people who were working on me and what they looked like. I just could not hear them when I was out.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? When I first came back into the body and left and when in heaven
Were your thoughts speeded up? Faster than usual
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
There is not a concept of time there like here. It seems to flow seamlessly with no waiting, clusters, or clogs.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. It is incomparable. It is supernatural and beyond what I can explain.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. It was definitely amplified when I came back into my body and before I left.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out
The experience included: Tunnel
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes I thought it was a full moon I was floating into, but it was an incredible tunnel of light and I passed through it with very rapid speed.
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes The line of other 'souls' who were waiting for some reason.
The experience included: Unearthly light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes Light of such beauty I have never seen.
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm It was a white room with no walls or border, just a beautiful light of a room.
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Total love, joy, acceptance and peace. I felt sadness at my selfishness that was shown to me, but the Lord comforted me and made me feel loved, despite this.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about myself or others We have to love God with all of our hearts and each other. We get distracted and it takes us away from our true path.
The experience included: Life review
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control Jesus showed me events where I was not loving towards others or careless and hateful and how it affected so many people besides just the one person. The events were shown in succession but all at once in a way, I can't describe.
The experience included: Awareness of the future
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from my personal future I was shown my son would have a son. I saw him holding him.
The experience included: Boundary
Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes This room was almost like a pre-room of heaven.
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a definite conscious decision to return to life I was given a choice and shown the negative effects for my family should I stay. The moment I realized I could not stay, even though I really wanted to stay, I was back in my body very fast.
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Slightly important to me
What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Protestant
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I am not stuck on denominations.
What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Greatly important to me
What is your religion now? Christian- Protestant
Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience. I always thought I would see relatives and see flowers and things. It was so different than that. I feel maybe I was in the screening room or something and not the full heaven. Just a hunch.
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes Not being so stuck in condemning any religion or person and knowing how precious we all are to God. How we are too religious, and we forget the love of Christ.
The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin Jesus and was spoken to telepathically. I also saw a line of people in white robes that appeared to be 'waiting'. Jesus was wearing a long white robe, as well.
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? Yes Jesus. He was tall, tan skin, brilliant green blue eyes like jewels. Golden brown hair about to his shoulder.
During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No
During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes We are all connected and are a part of God and are to love each other. We have to accept Him but even if we don't initially, I have the feeling because of the mercy I experienced He would give people chances to reach for Him.
Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? God definitely exists
During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes God and Jesus do exist. I only saw Jesus but was expressley aware that God was there. They seemed to be one. He held my hand and reviewed my life. He was in total love and acceptance and no condemnation. So gentle and so tender.
Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God definitely exists
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes Jesus showed me the importance of my work with my husband and my healing in order to fulfill that work. I saw us on a mission trip and planting a church on a poor island somewhere. I'm not sure where it is. I saw us writing music together and joy.
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are possibly meaningful and significant
During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes I was told to love. I was shown not to be careless and hurtful.
Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? An afterlife definitely exists
Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists Yes There is. I was there. That is all I know. I did not want to leave.
Did you fear death prior to your experience? I did not fear death
Do you fear death after your experience? I do not fear death
Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Greatly fearful in living my earthly life
Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are possibly meaningful and significant
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are meaningful and significant
Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No
During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Yes He did not say any specific words but I was shown that the flesh is temporal and our spirit is forever and our body in heaven is transformed.
Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Slightly compassionate toward others
During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes It was all about love and how important to love people is. How loved we are.
Were you compassionate after your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes There was somewhat of a disconnect with my husband at first because of getting used to these differences and feeling so 'displaced'. I also wanted to talk about it because it was so amazing and I think he got tired of that.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes It is hard to describe, in human words, how beautiful and full of love the experience.
How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience. Crystal clear and I miss being there.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I'm very much 'intuitive' to a higher degree. I have had dreams of old family that I did not know and described their places of residence and personal things I did not know. I finish my children's sentences or preempt what they are going to say and the stuff is random. I will start a movie they were thinking of on the bus. I will sing a song they were singing at school. I can spot other NDErs and have run into three since I had the experience and openly asked them if they were and they confirmed. I have watch issues. They all have stopped. I quit trying to wear them.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Every bit of it was meaningful.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Immediately, with some of the medical staff and husband. It was just so vivid and when I woke up, I felt the need to confirm so many things.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes I just would see something as I was flipping through TV or something but was never fascinated by them or really read much about it.
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real I just saw it as real and that is it.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real It was real. I have no doubts. It changed my entire life and how I feel living in this body.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I can't wait to go back to heaven! I know I have to go when it is time but I am excited for it and not afraid.
Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? None, I think it is great.