Experience Description

I was gravely ill and the doctors couldn't seem to find out what I was suffering from. I ended up in the intensive care unit, deteriorating quickly. Someone finally figured out what the illness was, and how to treat it, however, I was so weak by then I couldn't breathe on my own. I remember the week or so leading up to being transferred to the intensive care unit, but not actually being moved there. I do remember my doctor, seemingly waking me from a fog, to ask my permission to be placed on a respirator, as he knew I was against it. He pleaded with me to agree to one week. He was sure I would only need it for that long. I don't remember being taken for the procedure or how soon they did it.

The next I knew, I was up in the corner of the room, where the walls and the ceiling join. I could see myself, lying in the bed. I don't recall seeing a respirator, just the room and me lying on the bed. No one else was there. I looked for a moment, and then looked directly across the room to the opposite corner. I then floated (more propelled) diagonally across the room into the opposite corner and entered the corner. When I came out on the other side, it opened up into a tunnel. Something like you'd see in a movie where people are in a spacecraft. It was a soft, luminous light, definitely tunnel like. I was propelling rather slowly, when I felt like someone had just wrapped a comforter, fresh from the dryer warm, around me. I then felt so warm and relaxed, like I was literally lounging in someone's very large hands. There are no words to accurately describe the feeling. Peace, contentment, and home - nothing comes close to being accurate.

Anyway, I had the light, the warmth, the comfort and I was satisfied. This was okay and I began to pick up speed, propelling in the direction that was away from that corner I had entered. I then suddenly said 'No, I'm not ready to go yet', and threw out my arms to try to catch something on the walls of this tunnel of light to stop myself. Suddenly, my chest exploded in pain and all went black.

It was days later when I was allowed to wake, that I was told I had pulled the respirator out. I discussed this event with my doctor, and we agreed that I was probably dying, and I pulled that respirator out as a way of shocking my body, or shocking myself back into by body. They could not believe, since I hadn't the strength to breathe on my own that I could have the strength to pull that respirator out. After I pulled it out, the doctors paralyzed me and induced a coma so I would rest. Apparently, I fought them every step of the way, and they decided they'd had enough. It was time for me to rest.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: 'April, 1992'

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Illness 'Life threatening event, but not clinical death' Unknown by me, consciously anyway, I was placed on a respirator. I was too weak to breathe on my own.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Wonderful

The experience included: Out of body experience

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? Normal consciousness and alertness Seems the entire time.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? Seems the entire time.

Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning

Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes Passed through a corner of a room into a tunnel of light.

Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Uncertain I felt like I was lying in large, safe, warm hands.

The experience included: Darkness

The experience included: Light

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes Not A light. Just light.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No

The experience included: Strong emotional tone

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Contentment, willfulness.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe

Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control

Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Moderate

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No

What is your religion now? Moderate

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes I just KNEW that where I was going was ok.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Uncertain The events of the experience are easy to describe. The actual feeling I had during the experience is hard to find the words for. Nothing does it justice.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes As soon as I woke up. Some people said they believe me. Others scoff and think I'm crazy.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No