Experience Description

I was critically ill, had surgery and within twenty-four hours I was septic and went into adult respiratory distress syndrome (ARDS) and placed on a ventilator. I remained unconscious for six days and it was unknown if I would survive. I remember waking twice. Once I saw my fingers and being a nurse thought to myself, 'Oh boy I'm septic,' and again to see my nurse holding my Foley catheter, I noticed the color of my urine and again to myself thought, 'Multi-system failure, that's bad.' Next, I found myself surrounded by an all-consuming light.

It was wonderful, comforting and described as incredibly good. It was a glow as if in the center of a candle flame, that orange yellow glow. I had no sense of body and saw only the light. I felt torn between staying and so wanted to. I heard myself say, 'But he is only nine,' referring to my son. Immediately after that, I found myself sitting in my hospital bed there were no machines, no IV's, I felt fine. There was a knock at my window. I knew I was on the second floor and was surprised. With a giggle I said, 'Okay I'll play along, come in!' I closed my eyes and when I opened them, I saw my grandfather standing at the foot of my bed shaking his finger at me and shaking his head.

I closed my eyes. I was again in my hospital bed unable to speak and my friend was wiping my mouth. I heard her say, 'Oh she's drooling.' After that the process of waking up and recovering began.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: January/February 2002

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? No Illness 'Life threatening event, but not clinical death' 'I had a severe illness resulting in surgery, followed by sepsis and ARDS' ARDS (Adult Respiratory Distress Syndrome).

How do you consider the content of your experience? Wonderful

Did you feel separated from your body? Uncertain No

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? Normal consciousness and alertness I was awake and alert the entire time.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? I was awake and alert the entire time.

Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning I could have stayed if I wanted to. I wonder if the rest of my family was there.

Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

The experience included: Presence of deceased persons

Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes While in the light I felt not alone. My Pop was clearly there after the light.

The experience included: Light

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes All-consuming warm glow.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm I think another dimension. The room was acurate and the feeling of reality was strong.

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Conflicted on whether or not I could stay and sad I could not.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe

Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control

Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Liberal 'I am Christian basically believing Jesus existed and had special knowledge so much that it changed time. I believe there is something and am open to the ideas of levels of existence, alternate dimensions, destiny and reincarnation. I had no ''fear'' of death because since it is the only mandatory thing after birth it must be good.'

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No

What is your religion now? Liberal 'My views have not changed but have expanded to include the possibility of ancient aliens, and alternate universe. I also feel it is entirely possible that Jesus had a family. After all, he was living as a man and teacher among us. I also believe that a world-changing event could occur. I know that whatever it is that I will be okay.'

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Uncertain At present, interested to see or know more, but had to choose. That bit of uncertainty or unwillingness to leave my son made the decision for me. I still struggle with what my grandfather meant. I was curious to learn and know someday I will get to go there again.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I was a victim of domestic domination and abuse. I was being controlled by others. I stood up to my oppressors and took control of my life living it the way I wanted.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? No

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? I still struggle with what did my grandfather mean. Was it wrong choice, or was it a sign to get my life in order.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes It was immediately and continue to do so up to this time. People are quite interested.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes I knew they existed and grew up with the normal 'Go to the light' sayings.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real I can't explain but to say it was as real as sitting here typing to you.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No